I hate my life
I am a thirty-seven years old woman and I hate my life. I have been married for two years and I feel like it was the worst thing I could have ever done.
We dated for five years before we got married and all the signs was there that I should had married him. He often made decision based on his own wishes and many of them were some of the stupidest things ever. He had mountains of debt and I had none. We are now in a debt and things are always being shut off at the house. His response to that is that he has been through hard times before and I shouldn't let these hard times get to me so much but I was not raised in a house where the lights or water has been shut off. I get mad because I think he wants me to get comfortable with sh*t getting shut off!
Once I had my son I felt that I owed it to him to try and make it work and things would get better.
Now, I feel like I played myself! My husband and I are not on the same page, our values, beliefs and dreams are not the same. He refuses to set any goals and gets mad when I talk about goals and plans.
He does things without thinking and it make me so sick. I have to admit I have a problem hiding my feelings and often show it through my facial expressions. He responds by saying I am looking at him like he is stupid. The sad part is that is what I am thinking. He feels like I belittle him and take his manhood away but I just want him to do better and do some critical thinking before acting.
I have gone back to school and am taking a Marriage and family class just to confirm that my thought process about life and marriage is correct. I find myself questioning myself and if I am being to hard or am I just a spoiled daddy's girl. All I can say is I am so depressed in this marriage but on the other hand I want to make my marriage work. I just don't know what to do!!!!