Is Your Child's Personal Development Filled With Praise?
This delightful picture was drawn by Harlee, my great niece.
A child's personal development is not always as positive as it could be. Children need praise, lots of positive praise. They need to be told that they are wonderful little people.
They need hugs, lots and lots of hugs, big bear hugs to make them feel loved - just like us grown ups do!
This will give them an amazing grounding and help them become strong confident adults.
So many of our problems are a result of how we were treated or spoken to when we were growing up. The power of words is amazing.
There is a saying that you may have heard. It is "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I believe this saying is so untrue.
Words can hurt even the most strong of us. Once the words have been spoken they cannot be taken back. Sometimes they may have been spoken without malice or intent to hurt but they do. They can affect a child's personal development for many years to come.
We have to be very careful in the way we speak to our children. To say to a child "You are useless" or "You're not much good at that are you?" can affect a child's confidence and start him believing that he isn't much good at anything. This is so, particularly if they are always criticized, and never praised.
When a child does something wrong why not say "That was a silly thing to do, but you're not silly, I love you." It's easy to say to a child, "Well done, you did really well", and yet some parents don't think to give praise.
Sometimes an adult is quick to say to a child "You could have done better", or "You didn't try hard enough". Dashing the child's expectation of being thought of as having tried his best.
A child's development will thrive on praise.
When you want a child to do better, praise him and say how well he has done. Much better to say that than to tell him you think he could have done better. By letting a child know he could have tried harder or done better, he is getting negative feedback.
To say "Well done, you were fantastic, I can't wait to see you do that again, you were brilliant." These comments can only make the child want to try again and do better don't you think?
Children, like adults, suffer with low self-esteem. Other children can be quite cruel with their comments to each other and if your child is particularly sensitive, he can take this to heart and suffer emotionally.
However, if he has always had lots of praise and positive words from his family, (and trillions of hugs!) the words spoken by the children at school should not have such a powerful effect on him.
Why is this?
Because at home his self esteem and confidence have been built up ten fold by what you tell him. He knows how great he is and most importantly how loved. He will thrive in this loving environment. A child's personal development can never be started too young.
I apologize to any parent of gorgeous daughters who may have read this. It was just so much easier to say he, than keep typing he/she. I hope I am forgiven!
How To Be A Confident Kid
Preview of my book before you purchase:
My Grandma explained that throughout my life people might say things to me that make me unhappy. Sometimes what they say will be about me, or perhaps I might think they have said things, when they haven't. She has told me when I feel upset, I have to believe in my heart that I am special and important.
She has said there are lots of kids who feel different from other kids, and because they feel different, they think there is something wrong with them, when there isn't. She said no kid is the same as another, and it's the same with grown ups.
Gran said everyone is important in their own way, and she wants me to remember this and believe it, because it's true.
She also said it's OK to be different. It doesn't mean you are bad because you are different, it makes you special in your own special way.
She told me when I have a problem it's very important to tell a grown up about it. Grown ups are there to help me, and make me feel safe.
|BOOK REVIEW: How To Be A Confident Kid.
In my opinion the review of this book can be summed up in one word FANTASTIC. It has been written through the mind of a child for the mind of a child, but in my opinion it is a good read for children of ALL AGES. It answers questions that every child would like to ask but quite a few don't, either through shyness, a fear of being told not to be silly, or else just being ignored.
Thinking back to my childhood years, I was one of those that wouldn't ask and would have loved a book like this to help me through. And just to finish off, I agree wholeheartedly with Samantha WELL DONE GRANDMA.
By Beryl Noble
How To Be A Confident Kid: