what to think???

by window 2 seat

I have been battling with feelings and emotions for many years, and as I approach my 23rd birthday I begin to hate everything I stand for. I hate my size, weight, looks, everything.

I hate that I don't work I hate that I don't want to work, I hate the fact I'm scared to walk down my local high street in fear of being seen by people. Hate that I think so low of myself, and how I put people above me.

I truly believe everyone should be loved, and that there is someone for everyone, but then I read some where that some people are out on this earth to be left alone. Am I one of those people I wonder, Am I to ugly and fat to be loved, or is my purpose on this earth to be left alone.

Lately my skin colour has been an issue finding love, I'm too dark and big to be called a wife but my thick thighs and wide hips are great for being a 'friend with benefits'

I feel bad for having these thoughts and feelings, I even feel guilty and ungrateful, God had done so much for me but yet I question his plan. But i can not help myself, sometimes I feel like pain and heartache makes me feel complete, like happiness is a myth in my life.

Don't know what inspired this piece but hey its done now,


Comments for what to think???

Click here to add your own comments

Nothing ever stays the same
by: Anonymous

You poor thing, you seem down and depressed. The good news is that you are not 23 yet. Why dont you promise yourself a good overhaul?

Get to the doctors and tell him how you feel. He might say you are depressed and deal with that first. Hopefully, if he gives you medication it will start to lift your mood. If you are not depressed, you need to work on the way you think, which is quite negative. Whichever way you look, whether its to lose weight, and start paying attention to the way you dress and your hair, look the best you can be. Start to like yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself. You rightly deserve to be as happy as anyone else.If someone has made you feel this way,start ignoring them. As for reading that some people are meant to be on their own, very few people I imagine really want to be on their own. Choose not to believe it( it might not be the truth anyway). Make up your mind its not going to be you.
In my experience, nothing ever stays the same. Even the truth changes for you as time goes on.

If you feel isolated, try to get with other people. I do hope that things improve for you. You are the Author of your own story, and no one can change it, except you. Good luck

What to think
by: Anonymous

Everyone has some good and bad points, it is what you are inside that matters, not what you look like outside. There is always someone out there for everyone regardless of what situation you are in. It is not surprising the number of people who come on this website feeling that they are the only ones with problems of not fitting in, not relating to anyone else, feeling inferior and not worthy of notice from other people.
There is always someone who feels left out and unwanted, maybe you could connect with another person who needs a helping hand that would help.
Concentrate on what you are good at, and work on that a bit more. Remember that everyone has talents that maybe they have never realised that they possess and you will have them too. You just have to find out.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Personal Growth.