by Kevin
(New York)

I am 14 and I go to a cheap public school in New York. I have few friends I can trust and I am bullied every day. I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd" I'm a normal kid who never bothers anyone. These people in my school make me feel so useless.

I have had low self esteem all my life. When I was 12 I made my first suicide attempt. I couldn't do it. Earlier this year I got beat up and tried again. As before it did not work. I feel as if my life is an empty void of uselessness. I just sit quietly, why do they pick on me? The only person who understands me is my Oma. She is the only person who seems to believe in me. I cry to sleep most nights dreading returning to my horrible school and being bullied. I need a reason to live because right now I have none.

Comments for Useless

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by: Kay

I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you that you are a very special young man who is not at all useless. I wish I could make you see that you have great importance, but the problem is, somewhere throughout your life you have lost your way by the thoughts you have about yourself.

When you focus on what you believe is negative about yourself these thoughts become who you are and make you unhappy. It is possible for you to change, but you have to believe this and start to talk to yourself with positive thoughts. You have to have faith in yourself, and believe that you are as good as other people in your life.

Low self esteem is horrible and it's caused by how you have reacted to what has happened in your life. When you reacted in an upset way you allowed this sadness, or feeling, inside you and then you kept thinking about it and made it worse, and this is how low self esteem starts.

You can help by the mindset you have. Don't react to things that upset you, let them roll off you and forget them. Not easy I know, but if you can make the effort not to dwell on the hurt you will, over time, become stronger and more confident. Any bad things that are spoken to you, replace them in your mind with a good one, if someone says you are useless say to yourself you are important. Say "I love me I am confident" a thousand times a day - or more lol. Say anything that helps you to feel good about yourself!

Good luck, I wish I could help you more, but you do hold the power to be great, it's tucked away inside your mind!


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