Unhappy with my life

by dede

I'm stuck.

I have a job where the boss thinks we should work 24/7/365. He doesn't take vacations, why should we?
I live in a town that I hate, which means I feel a strong desire to take MANY vacations just to get out of this horrid place. This is the kind of city that if you were not born here, did not graduate from HS here, are not the "correct" religion, you will NEVER be accepted. I also earned my degree here, which is a looked down upon because the university teaches all kinds of radical ideas. (Like science, business, education....)

All of us non-locals recognize this, and even a few of the locals are willing to "laugh" about their inability to accept new people into the community. Most non-locals eventually move on.
I also need to mention that the city I live in is in a climate zone that is uncomfortable for me to live in for at least 3 months out of the year, sometimes as many a 6 months.
Why do I stay????
Unfortunately, I love my husband too much to leave him.

Husband decided he liked this throwback to the 50's town, and reneged on his promise that we would be moving to our "forever" city. To make matters worse, the vacations that I used to enjoy taking with him, have slowly evolved to being trips centered around his "volunteer" activities. An interest I do NOT share.
When I make plans to do something of interest to me, (Concert, day trip, ANYTHING) he askes "So who do you think is going with you?" making it clear he has no plans on joining me.

Husband will not seek counseling because he "has no intention of changing". I can go "so I can learn to accept that".

I'm tired of doing things alone, I'm tired of pretending things are all right.

I excercise 2-4 times a week, my diet could be better, I don't drink to excess (0-2 drinks per week), I don't smoke or do drugs (outside of caffeine). In the past I have meditated, done yoga, tai chi. I am 52 years old.

Any suggestions would be welcomed.

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I feel the same way...
by: Michelle

I am also a 52-year old woman. The town my husband and I moved to 6 years ago is pretty and is safe. However, I will never be accepted because I am not "from here". It has taken me 5 of these 6 years to truly make a close friend even though I have joined civic groups and have asked people over to entertain. The climate is also not good for me mentally as it is very cold with much snow 30-50% of the time.

So we are slowly looking to move but it may take several years until the right job for my husband works out.

My husband and I are not as close as we used to be. Been together 9 years. There is no sex due to past colon cancer. We don't laugh or talk in an animated way as we used to. In short, there isn't much excitement. I do love him and he is good to me, which I am thankful for. We generally have a calm life.

In my 30's and especially my 40's, I had lots of friends, lived in a different area of the country, felt as though my life was fun and dynamic. However, I was a bit lonely being single and prefer to be married (or do I?).

I am unhappy....how can I create a focus for myself? Any other suggestions?

Unhappy with life
by: Kay

I feel you have to start doing things that are of interest to you as you are so unhappy with how things are in your life.

I would suggest that when you make plans to go somewhere, you make plans for two, take a friend with you and go and have fun. If your husband isn't interested, find a female friend who will accompany you. You might just find that you husband will come round to your way of thinking and go with you in the future.

It's important for you to be happy. Do things you enjoy!

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