by Elizabeth

I would like to voice an opinion. Why are some people toxic and what is toxicity? Why do people when they want to exit membership of an organisation have to resort to picking a fight or exhibit pettiness over some minor matter which should not concern them? Is it spite or just plain meanness for the sake of creating mayhem?

I have encountered two cases of this recently, two people did just that, one complaining about a meal out, and the other one making a fuss over the way an organisation they belonged to was being run, both reasons seeming rather petty.

They could have had some reason to be concerned but it was the way they dealt with their complaints that did not go over very well, and offended the people they had contacted by the manner they had put across their remarks. They could have been a lot more tactful and perhaps get across a valid point. Usually they like to build up a trivial matter, and create a fuss just for the sake of a bit of attention.

There are the people regardless of circumstance who must make snide remarks for the sake of making them, mostly negative when in conversation generally. They put a dampener on any gathering, nothing is right, and they enjoy putting someone down when the other person has made an innocent remark.

There are others who argue that they are always right and they forget that other people have different opinions. All these people spoil events they may attend. The result of any encounter will make people avoid them at all cost. Then they wonder why they have no friends, or do they even care. Their unfortunate victim or victims are left wondering what they themselves have done.

Then there are the blow hot and cold people, one minute they greet you like a long lost friend, the next moment you are left wondering if you suffer from B.O. No one ever knows which way they will jump.

There are some people who take the easy way out regardless of the rights and welfare of their neighbours. If they see an opportunity where they can ride on someone's back, they will take advantage, by being somewhat plausible in their approaches. They are always out for themselves first, and will bend to using unscrupulous means to getting what they want.

How does one cope with these characters, do you rush away with a muttered excuse, or do you change the subject to get them off their tangent? Do you argue with them for the sake of an argument, or do you let this wash over you, not even listening perhaps just nodding your head now and then so that they think you are listening?

If you have to live or work with one of these people, what are you able to do to cope with them. Most people find a way with a bit of help and advice, others put up with the toxic person for years.

The small man or woman syndrome is a difficult scenario as people who are small in stature if they feel threatened and have to maintain their position, do tend towards bossiness, they fail to acknowledge that sometimes they may be wrong and hold to their opinions at all costs. They dominate the people who are unfortunate to be in their vicinity at all times.

Every case of difficult people varies and it takes a lot of courage to deal with each one according to how they may affect you and other people around them.

It may come to either flight or fight, bearing in mind that sometimes it might be hard to win.

Comments for Toxicity

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by: Anonymous

There are many reasons for 'Toxicity'. I think there are people who are,childish well into old age,as there are younger people who are mature beyond their,years.

There are Narcissistic people who think they are better than others, also they deserve more attention than others.
Some people are really unhappy, and are determined to make others the same. There are people who are jealous of someone who is thinner/ blonder/ younger/ more successful/ happier than them. I have come across these people all my life ! We are all on this planet to learn something about life and ourselves hopefully, and to learn something every day. The best way I have heard to combat all this is:
Quote: people treat you with their Karma,
You react with yours.

Society today
by: Anonymous

The trouble with Society today is it almost seems fashionable to be rude and obnoxious. I have heard young women say they think its great to be a 'Bitch'. How ignorant and immature is that? Forty years ago I would not be saying this.

Today children are being brought up to think they are more important than the rest of Society. Some of them will grow up to be Narcissistic. They are not being brought up to be responsible for themselves, i.e. blame it on someone else. Hospitals say someone goes to A&E with a cut finger, like a child, wants someone else to bandage it for them. Internet trolls, hiding behind their computers, being vicious to someone, because they are unhappy with their lives( taking responsibility again).

Society has a responsibility not just to make our lives better, but to go back and teach us right from wrong. Life seems to be getting more Liberal, and along with that comes the consequences for it, children not respecting adults, getting their own way, not caring who they trample on. Its our responsibility wether we are Parents, Teachers, Politicians, Businesses, Courts, to create a Society that is fair to everyone, to stamp bullying out, to have a Moral compass and Integrity. You know, they bring new gadgets every day, Technology is advancing as we speak, but Man seems to be going backwards, we are becoming more selfish, just look at the Animal Kingdom, more devious and if we can get one over on somone, rip them off, freeload and generally make somone feel small. What has happened to DECENCY?

by: Kay

Thank you for your article, it is very thought provoking.

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