suddenly nuts

by Paula

Hi - I am a 44 year old woman - I have been married with two kids for 20 years... we met in college - and - married right after and have been happily married ever since. Our kids are getting ready to go to university (one this fall - the next one fall of 2012). I was a teacher - but quit my job so I could enjoy the last little bit of time with my kids before they are gone.

Since quitting my job - I have become consumed with thoughts that something is going to happen to my relationship with my husband. I find myself not trusting him... checking his emails... doubting his words... He doesn't give me any reason to feel this way. He comes home every night at the same time... regularly tells me that he loves me - calls when he has a break at work... doesn't do any of those 'I think your man is cheating' things... THEN WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?

I have discussed this with him... he says 'I have never cheated on - I never will cheat on - I love you - and am very happy that I married you and want to grow old with you"... You can't get any better than that... so what is wrong with me? am I going crazy? oh and by the way - I have never been a jealous person - nor have I ever 'doubted' my husband's love and commitment to me until now...

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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thank you!
by: Anonymous

You know - I think you are exactly right - I have always been one of those moms that have had 150,000 things to do - all at the same time - in different directions...and not enough time to get them all done... unless I am super mom (I have fallen in that category a time or two - LOL) now I find I have nothing to do... kids can drive...they don't really need me so much... I have all this what I am calling 'idle mind time'... wow - is the mind ever powerful... LOL... so - I am going back to school... I should be finished with my new degree by the time my son (the last one to go) is off to university... that will put me back to work ... no time for extra curricular thinking then...

Thank you soooooooo much... you have been a tremendous help...

by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. It seems as though your problem has started since you gave up your job? Thank goodness you are able to talk things over with your husband and he can put your mind a rest.

Perhaps since quitting your job you find yourself with too much time on your hands? Can you occupy your time with a hobby, or even get a part time job while the children are at school so that you can be there for them before they leave in the morning and when they return?

I feel you need to be in control of something throughout the day, that not doing something constructive with your mind is causing your problem. When you find something to keep it busy it will stop focusing on your husband and your feelings of distrust should disappear. If you don't get rid of them they could cause serious problems within your relationship. No one likes to be mistrusted when they are doing nothing to cause these fears.

Good luck.


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