Studies affected by low self esteem
I have low self esteem and lack of confidence I admit it.
I am an average student I get B's and C's and at the moment am doing a Bachelor of Science degree. The problem is that I am taking more time to finish my degree then the usual 3 years that it takes to finish.
This does not mean that I am stupid....I am slow I think it's hard so am taking my time finishing. I have cousins that are smart and have done pharmacy etc.... If I were to fail a paper at Uni my parents (especially my mum) instead of encouraging me and telling me don't worry you will pass next time just try harder she puts me down and says things like ....you should have done a certificate it's easier...why did you choose a hard degree and so on. I don't want to just do a certificate I want to study further.
I love my parents but I hate the fact that they always put me down. They compare me to my smart cousin and say why did you not do pharmacy.....I cannot do that I study what is within my capabilities, they expect me to be someone that I am not.
Because of all these put downs I am failing and I don't have confidence and this has effected me because there is favouritism within our families. I feel so insignificant. I don't know who to talk to. At times when I go to bed at night I cry myself to sleep...nobody knows and all this negativity has really got my spirits down and I feel that there is nothing to look forward to in life I feel like a failure.
I want to be successful and my dream is to finish my degree and graduate and make my parents proud that I have a degree.
The other thing is that people are always asking me....so what have you studied?....when do you finish?.....are you still studying? People are so nosy why can't they just leave me in peace and let me finish at my own pace.
I admit I do feel a bit embarrassed....when people come over to our place I hide in my room cause they ask so what does your daughter do and so on.... I try and not react by their comments but I get hurt.
Please somebody out there can you help what should I do?