Sometimes I feel I have so many problems I would drive Freud crazy.
I'm the Poster boy for self esteem issues.
Certainly my mind is filled with negative emotions even when I want to have a positive day I can't help but focus on all I lack and all I hate about myself, you'd think I'd committed a heinous crime only Child killers deserve to feel this low about themselves but yet here I sit afraid of change, afraid to embrace the life I know I deserve.
Sometimes I feel even if you put the most positive people in a room with me it would not solve how I feel about myself.
I hate everything about me from how I look to my life in general I feel like I am not attractive and therefore women will never want to be with me.
My first ever girlfriend was a summer romance and she like me had major self esteem issues there was no chemistry nothing. It still made me feel lonely and the hardest part of my life is seeing happy couples kissing and holding hands and shoving it in my face. No matter where I go someone is sucking face or smiling at their significant other while I'm thinking God they must think I'm such a loser.
I feel so depressed knowing I have no friends, on places like facebook I can let loose be free and have a whole great personality but my real life is sad and broken. I hate to go on and on because there are more issues in my life than you can handle on a months worth of Dr Phil shows.
I know I'm rambling on but my biggest issue is how do I cope with feeling down about being single, I'm the guy that treats women with respect that holds doors, treats them as a human being who understands them and listens to them without thinking of sex. I felt like I was the guy all women dreamed of, the guy who finally got them (being raised by two women I have a deep bond with women) but what I find is that women would rather go for the bad boy the guy who treats them like crap they see me only as the friend and the one time I did get a girlfriend (I'm going to be 23) my first girlfriend was last summer on my 22nd birthday but she found me on FB and nothing came from it but us feeling lonely together.
Everyone says I'm extremely good looking but when I look at myself in the mirror I compare myself to the guys with six pack abs and young Johnny Depp faces who can get any woman they want without trying. The hardest part is knowing that I will have to wait longer then others, everyone around me seems to be in relationships.
How do I cope with feeling so low about myself?