Shyness/ Low confidence
I am fortunate in the sense that I am studying for a career which I love. In a years time I will qualify as an architect, after 6 years of hard studying and demanding work experience placements.
Inside I feel that this career is right for me because I feel passionately about it and I am very interested in it. I enjoy the studying and mostly the work aspect too. Each day presents a new opportunity and I love the art and design culture.
However, when I work in an office I just seem to get depressed not because of the above but because I am a very shy, perhaps introverted and low in confidence. I say 'perhaps introverted' because I love to express myself through my work creatively and be understood and appreciated for that as opposed to me as a person.
I hate attention. I hope to be able to live a life in peace and quiet away from any forced form of publicity etc....
That is the problem however. I know that I am competent in doing my job (ie - I have the right flair and intellectual skills) - I have been told that in the past. However, I just don't seem to have the 'right personality'. That is to be outgoing, open and very very pushy.
Being young I am always expected to be the one approaching people and really trying hard to sell myself. For the good jobs, it is not necessarily a question of talent but how you look, and how well you sell yourself. I know this is very important for the job but I really struggle.
That is what makes me question if this is the right career for me? But I know that if I gave up because of this then I could never forgive myself and it would be stupid right?
I am always having people reassure me that my work is of a high quality but that I need to stop being so quiet "you wont get anywhere". I just can't compete with people who shout loudly (it seems to be a case of who shouts the loudest succeeds the most regardless of ability). That type of behaviour feels very unnatural to me and I can't imagine myself doing it.
Should I be somebody I don't want to be to succeed? I feel comfortable in a way with the person I am - shy, quiet and hopefully sensitive to peoples feelings. It is my personality, whether its right or wrong and it feels natural to me.
Sorry for the rant. Anyone have any advice?