Self Esteem and Jealousy

I met my boyfriend when I was 13. We started dating when I was 14. We have been together 14yrs. and we have 3 great kids together. In this time I have become very jealous. I hate how I look. I accuse him every day of liking every female he comes into contact with. I say he wants to sleep with her, or that he likes her.

He used to tell me I was beautiful every day. He told me how sexy he thought I was but I never believed him. I thought he was lying, like he felt he had to tell me that.

Now he has left me. He doesn't want anything to do with me any more, because of the lack of trust. I love him so much. He says he still loves me, but he cant be with me because of all the assumptions and accusing him all the time.

I don't feel beautiful, I don't feel sexy, I feel very old and ugly. Please, is there anything i can do to start feeling better?


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low self esteem
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I felt so sad as I read your message. You have so much to be thankful for, but your own thoughts stop you from accepting the happiness you deserve.

Life is all about how we feel inside. Your thoughts make you who you are. You tell yourself you are old and ugly, you believe this to be so.
You have so many blessings, and if you change your mindset and work on having thoughts of beauty and love of yourself you will change.

If you want your man back, you have to work on positive thoughts about yourself and show him that you have changed

Get your partner to look after the kids, take some time out to spoil yourself. Have a change of hairstyle, change the colour if you wish, buy some new clothes. Liking yourself is all about how you feel inside. Spoiling yourself is a good place to start, but you have a more difficult challenge to get through. You have to love yourself, it is vital to change the thoughts you have.

Your mindset is not good! You have asked what you can do to start feeling better. The answer is change the mindset you have of yourself. This will solve your problem, and though it sounds pretty easy, because you have spent so long listening to your own negative thoughts, it may be hard for you to start saying nice things to yourself.

Ask your friends if they know of a Life Coach in your area. This person can help you with your confidence and life skills. If you don't know of one, Google for one who is close to where you live.

The problem, truly, is inside your mind, and when you change the thoughts about yourself from negative to positive, you will grow in confidence, you will have inner strength, and know that, yes, you are beautiful, because beauty comes from within.

I hope when you achieve loving yourself, your man will come back to you and your children. From what you say about him, he is is definitely worth working on the inner you for.

Say right now "I love myself, I am a wonderful, worthwhile woman", Say it again, slowly and with feeling "I love myself, I am a wonderful, worthwhile woman", let those words sink deep inside you ........ Now didn't that feel good?

Good luck,



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