Self Confidence... Its taking over me...

by Keeker
(Candy Land)

Hi. Im a young teenager and Im having the worst confidence issues ever... I dont know whats really making me act the way I do now.

Its getting really hard for me, its almost like I cant even talk anymore, i have to second guess EVERYTHING i say. Even to family members... Im so scared of being wrong its taking over me, and its driving me insane!!! I think a lot of it comes from my weight and appearance. Im slightly overweight, and Im not the prettiest person in the world.

Im terrified of rejection and disappointing people. I literally just wont say anything and I let myself get pushed around by people because i don't want them to view me as disappointing, rude, ect. I feel like God has been pushing me through this, and been putting people in my life to help me greatly.

I'll be really happy for a while, but then somebody pushes me down. Example- There was this boy, who talked to me like I was a normal person, like he was actually interested in what I had to say, and tried to talk to me. It was amazing and the best feeling in the world. He was seriously the only one to ever talk to me like that. It wasn't fake. It wasn't romantic. It was normal. And every time I get in one of my lower times, I think of it. When I get on these 'highs' im really confident and feel like I can take on the world. I wear shirts that are actually my size, shorts, and be audacious. But then It all come crashing down... Someone says something like " Dont you think you should change? You aren't really the right body type for that." Or "That what your wearing?" It crushes me. Im also generally a clumsy person, I bump into things, trip, ect, ect, ect. And constantly make a fool of myself. Every time I do something like that, I completely feel like and idiot... And iv built up this cover so much that Im the happy, cheerful goody goody girl that nobody notices i feel like im slowly dying. I stutter and don't know what to do and say. i feel like somebody giving me an authentic smile is totally alien, that im weird an that everyone tries to avoid me because they dont want to have to talk to me. Im really sorry if this doesn't make much sense and for rambling on.

I dont feel comfortable telling anybody around me this. But im tired of hiding and being the kid nobody wants to be around.

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Be kind to yourself
by: Sheelagh

Hi Keeker,
I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it at the moment. Everything you have said I have also been through, so its NOT just you, You have got to learn the trick of being happy with yourself, and stuff what everyone else thinks.

If you like yourself, and know you are a decent person, that's all you need to know. And everything else will follow. Don't do what I did, be so self conscious and seek everyone's approval, as that absolutely does not work. Everyone will sense it anyway. Be happy with who you are, and get the technique of taking no notice of what others think, and your subconcious will pick it up, and go on Autopilot.

If you are a bit overweight, and not Miss Glammy, it matters not, because I would rather have a friend who was nice inside than all the Miss Glammies in the world. Just make the absolute best of yourself, and it will all, follow, good luck nice person!

No confidence
by: Kay

I feel your big problem is that you are thinking none stop about what you don't like about yourself. Stop judging yourself harshly.

Most of us have days when we feel very low and un happy about things and then up in the air feeling confident and so this is normal. What is not helping you though is all the negative things you are thinking about yourself. When you focus on what you don't like about your self, you become more unhappy.

Your selftalk is vital and you have to make sure its always positive. If you feel you are over weight go to the gym, or do exercises at home. Eat healthy food, not fastfoods. Start believing in yourself. Think only positive things about yourself. Remember, noone is better than you!

Throw out all that negative thinking you are doing. You get back what you are focussing on and this is making you unhappy. Focus on how you want to be then do your best to change those thoughts! Not easy but it is possible. When you focus on the positive this is what you will get back.

Be strong, stay determined and you can do it.

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