Problem with my mom complaining about my dad

My problem is related to money, which sparks conflicts between my parents all the time.

Problem is :- My dad likes to make donations to anyone/anything related to God. He spends money on preachers of God problem is these people he donates to are not genuine. He also cares about his parents,sisters and other family members and spends money on them.

He doesn't look after my mom, her welfare,health, doesn't give her money for household/spending. He stays back at work for the majority of the days (working on/talking/travelling to places) with these people and helping them out. Any problems faced by my mom is of no concern to him.

He thinks she is not up to his level of thinking helping others is his goal and all she cares about is his money. My mom's philosophy is to spend the time/money on immediate family only.

To top this my mom has low self confidence, always talks negatively about people and herself, blames it on her fate. As a result of this dispute my mom's health is declining. My dad is a focused, strong willed and has no need for anyone.

I love both of them a lot and am at a no win situation. I tried several times to make my mom think positively she's like-what positive thing can come out of donating and caring about others to my mom and ignore everything my dad does. I tried explaining and making things clear between the both of them, but it was of no use.

They fight all the time and this has been causing so much distress in all our lives. Question is how do I solve this problem? How do I build up my mom's self confidence and make her a strong person negative thoughts go away?

Please help!!!

Comments for Problem with my mom complaining about my dad

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Mom and Dad problems
by: Kay

I am very sorry for the problems you are having. It must be very upsetting for you hearing your parents argue and disagree.

You are doing the right thing by supporting your mom and trying to get her to think positively. See if you can get her to be positive about herself and not so concerned about the other people. Does she enjoy reading? Perhaps you can get her interested in reading self help books that will help her.

Can you perhaps try to make her feel better about herself, maybe go with her to get her hair done, or suggest a massage and pampering, time spent on herself. Does she work? If not maybe a part time job that will enable her to have her own money to spend will help her feel better.

I feel you are doing what you can to help her, she needs to feel good about herself, to feel special and loved. I am sure you are giving her lots of hugs and telling her how wonderful she is. She needs inner security as this will enable her to gain confidence and begin to love herself.

When we don't love ourselves we have problems with low self worth, esteem and confidence. The less we think of ourselves the harder it is to change. I feel your mom doesn't like herself very much and it is not going to be easy for you to help her.

Unfortunately your mom is the only one who can help herself, and if she doesn't want to change, then you can only be as supportive as you can be.

I think you are a wonderful thoughtful child, and your parents have obviously done an amazing job raising you. I am sure they are proud of you. Just be there for your mom, try to make her realize how special she is, don't give up on her.

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