Please help me change!!!
(Gold Coast, QLD, AUS)
I am 26 years old, I have an amazing boyfriend who I am so in love with and he treats me well. The problem is I have many insecurities and low self esteem and I feel like it is going to drive him away if I don't do something to change it soon.
My low self esteem and insecurity makes me insanely jealous. Even if my boyfriend says a girl on television is hot I get upset and immediately start comparing myself to them and thinking he must be doing the same. I get angry and upset if he goes out without me, even though I trust him. He gets really angry when I act this way and I don't blame him. He keeps saying I am constantly sad and he is fed up with me getting angry so easily all the time. He always tells me i'm pretty and tells me he wants to be with me forever yet I always am in fear he will leave me one day because someone prettier and more interesting will come along.
I don't have many close friends in my life that live close enough to just catch up with when he is doing other things and I feel quite alone sometimes. I feel very dependant on him which I don't want to be. My mother committed suicide when I was young and my dad became an alcoholic, this may have contributed to me getting so attached to my boyfriend because I feel like he is all I have sometimes.
I don't want to be like this, I want to make my boyfriend happy and I know I'm not. I want to be O.K with him enjoying time with his friends and be happy for him! How can I get over these issues?