Overwhelmed by Everything
I am a 58 year old women who has just retired. I have been divorced for 15 years (from a 25 year marriage)and have lived all those years alone. My 2 grown children who live 15 minutes away rarely ever visit or call.
I have poured my heart out to them about their lack of interest in me and have gotten nowhere. I have lived my entire life in the same small town and have always wanted to live somewhere else. I just visited a former co-worker in NC to consider moving there. I really liked the area where she lives and could see myself living there. It is a big decision and I feel I have no one to talk to about this who would give me any support. I know it is my decision to make but I have to make EVERY decision in my life by myself and it overwhelms me tremendously.
Sometimes I just want to lean on someone or feel some support by another human being. Lately it seems every little thing I need to do overwhelms me. I think that if I moved maybe my life would be different. Maybe I would be in a community where I didn't feel so alone as I do now. But then again I could move and everything could be the same as it is now.
I have tried volunteering with several programs in my community and never hear back from any of them. It seems everywhere I turn I feel rejected. I know its up to me to make my life what I want it to be but after years of being on my own and feeling a lot of heartache I just can't seem to succeed in finding a happy place.
I am considering going to counseling which I have done so many times, I've lost count. Paying someone to listen to me seems to be the only outlet I have. Right now I am very lost.