My relationship with others

by Mariela
(Brooklyn)

I have a hard time gaining respect from friends, family etc. I don't know how to be assertive because I feel fearful and insecure most of the time. I dont feel comfortable around my co-workers or my boyfriend's family. I'm even having a hard time with my boyfriend lately.


I don't know how to express how I feel without appearing emotional or too sensitive. I sometimes feel he takes advantage of me, however am not sure how to approach him for the reason that I tend to over react and can't help feeling insecure around him, his friends, and his family.


I'm having a hard time with friends in school, with my family, with my job, with my boyfriend, even his family who give me the impression they think I am avoiding them, which is partly true, but they don't know the reason why I do so.

I feel in despair and have tried so many things to raise my confidence and feel good and confident about myself, however have failed in every intent. I don't know what to do anymore.

This problem seems to be getting worse by the minute. Any advice would be very helpful.

Comments for My relationship with others

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really nice work
by: Anonymous

hey i really like your stuff i wish i could get to see more of your work before school is done because am in the honor society and am supposed to be doing this essay about my relationships with others. but reading your work made my brain easier to think about my experiences
Raising Confidence
by: Kay

Hello Mariela,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.
After reading your message I feel the best thing for you to do is work on how you see yourself. If you take another look at what you have written, nothing is positive about your effort.

You are also saying that others don't respect you. How do you know this? You go on to say that your boyfriend's family give you the impression that you avoid them. Can you see that everything is in your mind? You are assuming that others think and feel based on what you think they think?

One piece of advice I offer is to change the self talk you have. When you dwell on your faults you make them larger than life and attract negativity to you.

It's vital that you start to look on yourself as positive and confident. OK you're not going to feel this way instantly, but when you stay determined and stop dwelling on your faults to dwell on how you want to be you will begin to feel a change inside.

Stop working out in your mind what you think others think about you, or how they react to you. Stay totally focused on the inner you and staying positive. When you find a negative thought coming to mind instantly dismiss it.

I will pass on something I have learned that I find totally empowers me and makes me feel strong. (I suffered with low self esteem for years) Stand up straight, shoulders back, but relaxed, with your head held high, slow down your walk, and say to yourself as you walk "I am a strong confident person". (say whatever words you choose, that you feel fit your situation).

Say the words as though you truly believe them. You should instantly feel a difference in yourself! Work with this inner feeling, this is the power you need to bring into your life to make you strong. You should find in time that saying these words, even when you aren't walking, will instantly bring the inner power to you.

Now here's the most important piece of information I can give you. You can reject what I have said before you even attempt to change, because you don't believe it will work, or you can say, "Yes this will work, I will make it work, because I am determined to change the way I am".

The choice is yours Mariela, no one can choose your thoughts, they are uniquely yours.

I wish you a happy life filled with positive thoughts.

Love
Kay

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