My older brother hates me

by Alicia

I am fifteen years old and my brother is seventeen. In our younger years we got along really well. I always admired him and wanted to be doing whatever he was doing. As we got older, though, my brother began to make fun of me, calling me fat and ugly.

He’d make most of the comments when no one was around, and I began to feel insecure about myself, especially when only my brother was around.

Eventually starting at around Grade 6 (grade 8 for my brother) we stopped speaking to each other altogether. The only times he would talk to me were to say subtle but nasty comments about me. Gradually they turned into comments about me being stupid and annoying, and less about my body.

By grade 7, I didn't speak to my brother at all. We’d completely ignore each other despite living in the same house. I’d like to add that my own behaviour and emotions (now at age 15) have become unstable when I am around my parents and siblings.

Today I finally snapped when my brother and I were home alone at the breakfast table. He made a comment about how I waste all the milk, to which I responded that I don’t actually drink milk, I havent in about 4 months. He replied with a mocking comment about how I think Im so healthy, which didn’t bother me. We eventually ended up yelling at each other, him telling me that I’m so stupid, that he’s never liked me. I cried and asked him what I ever did to him that made him hate me, to which he said that if he told me, I would just go crying to my mom. I’ve always looked at my friends’ relationships with their siblings and envied them.

All I’ve wanted was to have a healthy harmonious relationship with my brother, but he doesn’t feel the same way. Being around my brother just makes me uncomfortable now, but Ive never understood what about me is so irritating and annoying to my brother. I am a middle child, and I don’t think my parents have ever treated me and my siblings differently.

My brother has always gotten better grades than me, but I still do well in school, and I am more social than my brother.
- Alicia Burt

Comments for My older brother hates me

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Older brother hates me.
by: Kay

Unfortunately we can't choose our family, but, thank goodness, we can choose our friends. Surround yourself with friends who appreciate you for who you are.

With regard to your brother, he's certainly not being at all nice to you. This often happens with children as they are growing up. Happily they do resolve problems as time passes and you may well find that you become good friends.

However as this is not the case at the moment, take no notice of him and what he says. He's trying to bate you and annoy you and when you react you are allowing him to win.

You may find that you may never get on with each other, in which case I would say stop trying to become his friend and make sure you live your life in the way you want to without him having a hold over you.

Don't feel guilty or that you have failed in any way if he doesn't want to be friendly towards you. Basically, leave him to get on with his life.

All the best for the future,

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