My boyfriend goes away without me
He has used 3 weeks out of 4 to vacation with or go away for a night with others. He actually went away on a hiking trip in an area of the world with no cell service for 2 weeks. My only contact with him was a daily satellite check in. I went nearly nuts with worry and missing him. This past week I asked him if he wanted to take my birthday off (a Monday) and he replied "No thanks" (like I was doing him a favor?) and took that Friday off to spend with one of his buddies.
This man is my soul mate, we have a relationship that is nearly perfect. We can't get enough of each other when we are together...is this his way of coming up for air? We have different interests but I spent 3 days of our 1 week off together doing what he loves-mountain climbing. Next week he is taking 2 days off with buddies from college. I was invited but being an accountant can't go due to year end duties.
The straw for me came last night and now my usual "trying to cope" has turned to anger. I just had to sell concert tickets I bought him for Christmas because he scheduled another trip away that same day without telling me. I was SO excited to give him the tickets and plan an evening out with him.
Healthy couples run plans by each other, right? Spend at least half their vacation time together? Or are my expectations off?
It just seems that his free time is more valuable to him than our free time. When I divorced, I lost a lot of friends...my home, my dog...coping with the loss and not having anything to do on my own doesn't help. His social life remained intact while, 2 years later I'm still trying to pick up my pieces. I am trying to build some new foundations and get myself out there more but when he IS free, he wants me with him so I put myself aside to be with him. Because, yeah, it's AWESOME when we are together.
It's crazy to be a 38 year old woman who is pining after her boyfriend like a school girl. He's a career bachelor, I'm a divorced mom of 3...I can't teach a dog new tricks so how do I cope? I keep telling him I think that our "perfect" relationship is a tad co-dependent and that I need time to fix myself but he says that we should work together to fix me. I'm not feeling like I'm getting fixed.