mother does not like proposals of my choice

by raj123

I (28/m) work and live in middle east for past 4 years. my parents have been looking for suitable marriage proposal for me. Even though its arranged marriage my opinion counts before they proceed, but my mother always finds some fault the proposals I like and I'm not able to agree the proposals she likes.

For one of the proposal she didn't like her looks and smartness, in other she disagree since the girl doesn't have father and have lesser education, in another financial backgrounds. I'm a double masters degree holder, but I'm not looking for social circumstances like dowry or high education. I generally conclude my selection based on the comfort level while talking with the prospect, likely hood of living together in one country if possible and general attitude about family. in short I want to have a simple life. My father is supportive and understands me a lot; but I'm afraid if I force into any proposal of my choice my mother will react upon it and make the relationship worse from the very start. I feel guilty about ruining future of my spouse in such circumstances. Now I feel like giving up the whole thing about married life because of my mothers attitude. Should I marry or not in such circumstances? if yes, when is the right time and whom would be the right person?

p.s: my brother had an arranged marriage and is living a happy life past 3 years. my mother recently fainted couple of times and is having high BP. My aunt told she might be getting sick thinking aboubt me, this again makes me feel guilty.

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mother does not like proposals of my choice.
by: Anonymous

What you have to take into account, that it is your life and not that of your mother, you have to live with what choice you make. You need to be able to relate to the young woman and know that her chemistry and yours is going to be compatible. It is her intelligence and personality that matter and you have to be friends as well as husband and wife. You have to have the same goals.

There are also children who will be involved as well and you will want the right environment for them to grow up in with the values that you want them to have.
You and she will know if you are going to be right for one another.
It is hard to give some advice like this as I live in a country where people choose their own partners but then they often make mistakes, they may be compatible for a while then as they grow older and change, they may part.
You will know if you take your time.

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