Low self-confidence, no purpose
(Round Rock, TX)
Me, 40 years old
I am 40. That is hard. I don't have a 4 year degree. I have a husband and 2 kids. I have always wanted to be a homemaker but we needed two incomes so I have cleaned houses for 13 years to make ends meet. My husband is successful and he is ashamed of me for what I do, and I think my children are beginning to be ashamed of me, too.
I am intelligent but have no confidence. I have been this way all my life; grew up in a alcoholic/domestic violence household where my mom was abused and demeaned. I've never felt normal and hide from social situations. I recently tried to start a new catering business but it is failing, which has brought my depression to new heights.
I wish I could disappear without hurting my kids. I am just a drain on my husband. $30,000 in debt + house and it's all my fault. I can't summon the courage to get a "real" job after all these years of cleaning houses alone. I need help.