Low self esteem and self confidence--can anyone help me?

I've had low self esteem and low confidence ever since I was very young. I never find myself to be pretty enough, tan enough, or just generally, ENOUGH for people to like me.

I don't have many friends, just 2 best friends that I would do anything in my power for; and people that I just say 'hi' to. I have always been told that I can do better, if I get an 'A' my parents would always say, 'you could have gotten an A+'. I don't want to blame them, I know that they are not at fault, they are just telling me to try a little harder. But it can be so frustrating when I am already trying my best.

Nobody has ever liked me for me, especially guys, which has greatly damaged my trust towards them. I'm afraid to start a relationship with anyone because I'm always scared that they are just using me.

Anyways, my trouble is, I don't know how to be confident in myself, Ive been bashed so many times, I don't know what is good about me anymore. How can I look at myself in a positive way, when I can't think of anything positive to say about myself?

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low self esteem and self confidence
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

Can you see you are focusing on what you feel is wrong with you, and why you think no one likes you.

When you focus on all this negative stuff about yourself you become this way. I know, that's not a good thought is it, but it's true.

If you can learn to love yourself and the way you are, you will know that you are special, but as long as you keep telling yourself why you aren't 'enough' then you are right.

You say you can't think of anything positive about yourself but you have two best friends, who obviously like you. Some people don't have anyone they class as true friends, and you have two, so this is a positive for you.

You say you always try your best, that you get A's for your work, this is fantastic, and you should let yourself feel good about your achievements.

Can you sit down and make a list of things you are good at? I am sure you will surprise yourself with your capabilities!

Start with words such as 'I always try my best' 'my friends like me' 'I am special.' I bet you have lots of good points, perhaps a nice smile, a generous nature, you may enjoy helping people. Think about all the good things that make you into the worthwhile person you are.

Once you have done this, you need to start feeding this information into your subconscious. At present you are sending nothing but negative stuff that it believes because the subconscious cannot tell the truth from a lie. So whatever you say it happily takes on board, and this is how you become.

Don't like the sound of that? I don't blame you! By changing your thoughts you can become the way you want, so why not start today and let yourself know, over and over again how worthwhile, unique and special you are.

Keep saying this, plus any other good stuff you want to feed into your subconscious, until it starts to accept it, and this will happen once you believe it will.

You have to believe in yourself, its important! You are the only one who can make this work. Everything you need to help you is tucked away inside you. Feed your mind with positive information. It will work if you don't give up.
Good luck.

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