Low low low confidence/esteem
by Sock Monkey
I have really low self esteem. I have thought of ending it all a couple times. And even cut my wrist once just to see how it felt. I had dreams of jumping out of moving cars smashing myself on the road. Yes it`s very gross, but it`s very real.
Once I took too many pills to see what would happen. Nothing did.
My esteem is shot. I have so many fears it`s amazing.
According to my brother I never go out with good looking guys. I go with "The Peoples Reject". It is kinda true. I went out with guys that belittle me, curse at me, blame me for all types of things, and don`t respect me. I am not a big girl or anything. I am proportioned right so a lot of guys are not interested in me. They want other things. So therefore I have a easily hard time trusting men. I mean really hard time.
I don`t have a job right now. Although I do have certificates and education and stuff. My dream is to be a nurse and be a normal 32 y/o female. That's my dream. But as you probably guessed, I have to many issues for this to come about.
I was feeling better about myself. Then I had an accident. Now I don`t know what to do with myself.
I am not happy. I have nothing wrong with me. Some even call me pretty. But for all the ones that say I am, there is the ones that say I am not and I believe them. I don`t know why I am writing this. I don`t know why I am here.