low confidence, insecurities, and anger. And oblivious to all.

by Jordan Smith

My younger brother is 16 and is a very talented person at many things, especially sports. He has always played sports and he likes to.

Since reaching middle school he has kind of changed though which I know is normal but he doesn't have self confidence. He lets what people say get to him and he gets mad at just the most little things. An example is when my parents, actually when almost anyone tries to help him on something, give advice, and just try to tell him anything he gets mad and always talks back. He has excuses and I just really want him to get help. My mom wants him to talk to a counselor but he wont. He is probably embarrassed which I understand but he doesn't think anything is wrong at all.

He is a good kid and I feel bad for him. I want to help him. What are some ways that I can help him try to find self confidence and help him with his anger so he doesn't snap so quickly for no reason. Also what can we do to help him try to listen to what people have to say and try to use it instead of just saying I know and always having something to say back instead of trying to understand. I know he is just an immature teenager and they act weird but I would really like to help him. Thank you.

Comments for low confidence, insecurities, and anger. And oblivious to all.

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Low Self Confidence and Anger
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I greatly admire you for the concern you have for your brother and the fact that you want to help him. He is still young and is coming to terms with leaving childhood behind and becoming an adult. This may be causing him the problems he is having as he tries to keep up with the changes in his body and in his emotions.

He does not see himself as having a problem, and as hard as it is for his family, he doesn't want help because of this. It's not possible to help someone who refuses to see there is something wrong.

I can only suggest that you are consistent in speaking to him in positive terms, praising him, letting him know that he looks good today, his hair looks good, you like what he's wearing, anything that might boost his confidence (even though he might react in a negative way to what he has been told.)

When he snaps at you don't snap back because that fuels his negativity. Be strong for him. Listen to what he has to say, perhaps ask him why he feels this way after he has spoken in a negative way to you.

Let him know that you are always there to listen to him if he needs someone to talk to, and most importantly, don't judge him when he tells you something you disagree with, because when you judge him you might close the door of communication and it is communicating with him that will be of most help. Listening to what he is saying without criticizing him for what he has told you.

As he matures he should be able to come to terms with his adulthood and be better able to control his emotions. I am certain that with the loving concerned family he has around him, coupled with positive supporting help you offer, he will get through this.


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