Life as a husband, father and foreigner

by Robert
(Akita city, Japan)

Ive been living in Japan for almost 4years now. My wife is from here and my 2 children were both born here, my eldest is nearly 3years old and my little boy is just turning 9months. I met my wife in Australia when we were both travelling. I'm from England. When our visas expired we chose to come to Japan just for a short time and then move on again. Then we became pregnant and found it impossible to leave. Ive never adjusted to life here, and really don't want to continue living here. My marriage is in a lot of trouble, and the kids (especially my daughter) are witnessing all of the unhappiness and negativity connected to our problems. We are all very very unhappy.

Financially we cant change our situation, and the problems in our marriage feel un fixable. I really dont know what to do. My confidence has disappeared, my personality has become horrible, I/we have no friends and I cant speak very much of the language. Its all truly awful, my head hurts. I don't know what else to say!

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husband, father and foreigner
by: Anonymous

You are in a bind. Are you in any contact with people from your own country and can they help you.
You have two choices, either you try to blend in with Japanese culture a lot more and learn to speak the language properly which will give you more clout, or else persuade your wife to come back to your own country with you. Either way you will have some adjusting to do, as she will have to embrace your culture more.
You have two children to consider and they embrace two worlds. You have to give them the best of those two worlds. Maybe some counselling from someone who has been there and done that would help a lot.

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