Insecure about being single.

by Abbey

I went through a lot of stuff all through school. During puberty, girls used to say I was a lesbian, not that there is anything wrong with them, (I'm straight though) and everyone used to bag me out saying I was a boy.

If I tried to be feminine, by wearing a skirt or whatever, people would just laugh at how bad I looked.

I'm a very insecure person, and find it hard to make friends as I have aspergers also.

I always date stupid guys who I don't really like just to get approval that I am feminine, and because I feel worthless without a boyfriend. I am single at the moment, and it makes me feel insecure.

My best friend got married recently which made me feel worse, even though I was happy for her, and my brother has a new girlfriend who he loves. Things like that make me feel jealous and insecure, even though I know its stupid.

How do I get out of feeling like this?

Comments for Insecure about being single.

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by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.
The most important thing in life is being true to yourself.

You don't have to dress or behave in a way to please other people. This will lower your confidence and add to your insecurity. When you dress in a way that makes you feel good inside you will feel at ease, and this in turn will give you confidence.

Most females wear jeans, or dress trousers. Some of my friends never wear skirts, in fact come to think of it, I hardly ever do either, but this doesn't imply that we are not feminine.

You appear to be giving away your power to please other people, and this just serves to make you act in a way that is not your truth.

The inner you is worthwhile, but at the moment because of the negative thoughts and feelings you have about yourself, you are actually causing your own problem through the way you think.

You should be confident with who you are, why do you have to prove that you are feminine? You know that you are and this is what counts. You appear to assume that people think you aren't because of remarks made to you at a very tender time in your life, when you were going through puberty.

There is no pressure these times for people to be in relationships, and the fact that you aren't in one at the moment just means that you haven't met the right person.

You demean yourself by dating stupid boys, as you call them. Go out with boys that you like, that are as intelligent as you, boys that you want to go out with, not just to prove something to others, but because you like them.

When you are comfortable with who you are, and accept yourself fully, this should stop you feeling insecure. You are the only one who can do this though, and this is by paying attention to what you say to yourself.

When you focus on negative information about yourself, you cause a negative reaction inside, and it's the inner you that is your problem. This has been caused not by what others say to you, but how you react to what they say. You appear to have accepted what they have said, taken it to heart, believed their comments totally, even though you know it's not the truth, and you have made it your truth.

Change your inner talk to be how you know you are by telling yourself that you are worthwhile, that you are an important person.

Be true to the inner you Abbey, become the way you know you can be. Don't listen to others.

Play the waiting game, if you get comments about being single, let them know you are very fussy, and waiting for the right man to sweep you off your feet. Tell them you are so special, he needs to be just right kind of man to share your life.

Go out and enjoy your life, when you are not looking for a man that's the most likely time for him to appear!

I wish you happiness Abbey.


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