I made friends with a man in Finland and very confused with my own feeling

by Adele
(Valrico, FL)

I became a member of a site to socialize with people from all over the world. I was focused on corresponding with native Russian speakers because I am attempting to learn the Russian language.

I was thrown off when I received a message from a man in Finland who is very charming. I began speaking to him through video chat for about a month. Before I knew it I was becoming attracted to him. He is an ear, nose and throat doctor/surgeon and does put in long hours. I find myself riddled with anxiety when I don’t hear from him and assume the worst. The assumption is he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I hate feeling like this especially knowing that nothing would ever happen between us because of being on opposite side of the planet.

I do have depression and take medication to aid with it and a mood stabilizer to control mood swings. I feel that my medication is being overdriven by this anxiety. To clarify this some, I had no intentions of becoming attached to anyone and went to this site for help on a language. I am mad at myself for allowing this to get out of hand. I put aside all the hard work in learning and need to get back on track with my life.

I would rather end all communication with Mr. Finland and find it extremely hard to do. Adding one other problem that plays along with the anxiety when I don’t hear from him I cry most of the time. What is wrong with me? Please suggest something.

Comments for I made friends with a man in Finland and very confused with my own feeling

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by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I feel you should do what you know is right in your heart. This appears to be cut off ties with this man and concentrate on what is important to you, learning the Russian language.

This man you are attracted to may not be what he says he is, it is very easy to make up an important career to impress whoever is being spoken to when you know you are never going to meet the person. If he is what he says, then he is purely chatting to relax after a tense day and you are there to help him pass the time.

If you can't look on him as someone to pass your time with, who basically has no control over you or your life, then I feel you should stop this situation. It appears to be controlling your thoughts and upsetting you, when in fact you have no input over his life.

You say you are mad at yourself for having this contact. All you have to do is delete him from your friends and ban communication with him. He won't be concerned and will probably only move on to someone else to pass time with.

Take your own advice Adele and get your life back on track. You will be much happier when you do.


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