I made friends with a man in Finland and very confused with my own feeling
I became a member of a site to socialize with people from all over the world. I was focused on corresponding with native Russian speakers because I am attempting to learn the Russian language.
I was thrown off when I received a message from a man in Finland who is very charming. I began speaking to him through video chat for about a month. Before I knew it I was becoming attracted to him. He is an ear, nose and throat doctor/surgeon and does put in long hours. I find myself riddled with anxiety when I don’t hear from him and assume the worst. The assumption is he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I hate feeling like this especially knowing that nothing would ever happen between us because of being on opposite side of the planet.
I do have depression and take medication to aid with it and a mood stabilizer to control mood swings. I feel that my medication is being overdriven by this anxiety. To clarify this some, I had no intentions of becoming attached to anyone and went to this site for help on a language. I am mad at myself for allowing this to get out of hand. I put aside all the hard work in learning and need to get back on track with my life.
I would rather end all communication with Mr. Finland and find it extremely hard to do. Adding one other problem that plays along with the anxiety when I don’t hear from him I cry most of the time. What is wrong with me? Please suggest something.