I love my boyfriend, but he has hurt me so much and i have lost all my confidence

by Emily
(United Kingdom)

I used to be a confident girl and didn't really ever get down about myself often, sometimes of course, but that is a normal thing to happen. Then I met my boyfriend and my confidence got to a high and I fell very much in love with him only to find out that he was lying to me behind my back texting other girls calling them 'babe' 'baby' and being very flirty. His call record was mostly to girls and I also went on his Facebook and discovered other things.

I told him and he told me he was sorry and he loves me. I forgave him then he did it again and again and again and he has also said some very horrible things to me. For example i plucked up the courage to show him my boobs which is a big thing for me as I hate them he said to me 'I recon the only reason I really like your boobs is because I don't watch porn anymore'. That's a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.

He has never really stopped hurting me and there has always been girls coming along and trying to ruin my happiness. I cry about ten times a week now about my body and my face. I look up surgery and I am constantly trying to not look like me in every single way. I just want my boyfriend to love me. He says all the right things and doesn't really flirt with girls anymore because I don't let him speak to a lot of them but instead he gets aggressive with me when drunk.

I love him so stupidly much and I think he knows that and uses it to his advantage, but the thing is is he is not a horrible person. He is funny and handsome and loving most of the time but i don't know. I am so hurt and I find it so hard being me :( what do I do? Please help me I am only young and feel so down and low. Thank you

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I'm in a similar situation
by: Anonymous

I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend is a guy of good morals and he doesn't seem like a guy who would hurt anyone.

Initially I never had any problems with him but currently his comments make me hate myself. Other than taunting for fun, he makes me feel low,esp when it comes to my looks, body or height. He is very handsome and most girls find him attractive so he feels he's got this upper hand. And when he gets angry he says things which hurt me a lot. He called me a slut,whore etc just out of frustration. I just love him too much so I end up forgiving him.

I really miss the girl I used to be, I was never so emotional and vulnerable.

Sorry for what you are going through
by: Anonymous

This is a very unfortunate situation that you need to get out of. I have been there and it took more than 10 years of my life. I stayed for many reasons and in the long run I stayed because I was scared and thought that this was as good as it gets.

Now being out of it for 6 years I can see how sick and sad my romantic relationship was. I'm glad it's my past and its time for me to ensure that I regain and remain in healthy relationships.

Blessing be yours and I have you all in my prayers.

Be strong for yourself
by: Tara

Hun, this is a case of domestic violence. What your boyfriend is doing to you is not love, no matter how he may be at other times.

You have to think about yourself and your health. If your boyfriend gets aggressive with you at all in general, you should get yourself away because that's a dangerous situation for you to be in. And if you don't stand up for yourself, he'll continue to think that it's okay for him to treat you like dirt. Don't let it be okay. You're beautiful, strong, courageous and smart, but sometimes you have to show it through action. Maybe you need to break up with your boyfriend, because there are plenty of guys out there who could treat you right all the time, instead of just sometimes. Best of luck, stay strong.

lost confidence
by: Kay

Thank you for posting. When you love someone you don't continually hurt them and put them down. This is not love.

You deserve better than this. You have given your power to this young man and he is bringing you down lower and lower until your own thoughts wont be yours but his, doing exactly what he wants of you.

Time to reclaim your power, know that you are better than this, you are strong and prove this to yourself by moving forward in your life, away from his destruction of you.

You can regain your confidence by changing the thoughts you have about yourself. Self talk is vital, it has to be positive, it has to be loving towards you. Start today to tell yourself that you are confident, that you believe in yourself.

Wait for a man who loves you and treats you with the respect you deserve. This young man does not respect you, if he did he wouldn't hurt you.

Good luck,

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