I love my boyfriend, but he has hurt me so much and i have lost all my confidence
I used to be a confident girl and didn't really ever get down about myself often, sometimes of course, but that is a normal thing to happen. Then I met my boyfriend and my confidence got to a high and I fell very much in love with him only to find out that he was lying to me behind my back texting other girls calling them 'babe' 'baby' and being very flirty. His call record was mostly to girls and I also went on his Facebook and discovered other things.
I told him and he told me he was sorry and he loves me. I forgave him then he did it again and again and again and he has also said some very horrible things to me. For example i plucked up the courage to show him my boobs which is a big thing for me as I hate them he said to me 'I recon the only reason I really like your boobs is because I don't watch porn anymore'. That's a horrible thing to say to your girlfriend.
He has never really stopped hurting me and there has always been girls coming along and trying to ruin my happiness. I cry about ten times a week now about my body and my face. I look up surgery and I am constantly trying to not look like me in every single way. I just want my boyfriend to love me. He says all the right things and doesn't really flirt with girls anymore because I don't let him speak to a lot of them but instead he gets aggressive with me when drunk.
I love him so stupidly much and I think he knows that and uses it to his advantage, but the thing is is he is not a horrible person. He is funny and handsome and loving most of the time but i don't know. I am so hurt and I find it so hard being me :( what do I do? Please help me I am only young and feel so down and low. Thank you