I have so many problems in my life, and I feel unhappy. I'm too young to be this depressed.

My name is Jessica. I'm fourteen years old, and I'm constantly sad. My mom is sick with smoldering myeloma, which will eventually turn into bone cancer. My family is thousands of dollars in debt, even after my grandma paid $30,000 to help us out. I'm around wealthy people all the time, and whenever I'm inside a nice house, or riding in a nice car, I feel like nothing. I feel like scum because I can't afford what my friends and cousins can afford. I have low self esteem. I feel like I'll never be smart enough to get a good paying job, or I won't be able to afford the school needed to get that job. I feel ugly. I feel boring. I feel like nobody has a reason to like me.

My mom recently lost her license, so I've been at home over the summer, and I've lost contact with pretty much all my friends. I'm going to a new high school this year, and I'm worried about making friends. It will be my first year of high school. I've been the new kid before, and it was miserable. I want a psychiatrist, or someone who I can just rant to for hours and get advice, but I can't afford it. I can't even afford fun activities like dance, which I really want to do.

My grandparents and aunt reach out to me, and I can't stand being the charity case of the family. I just don't know what to do. I'd never commit suicide, because I enjoy the good moments in life, though they come rarely. Plus, I would never hurt the ones around me like that, but I constantly think about hurting myself. What should I do?

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Jessica Please read
by: Jas

Hey Honestly I'm really sorry too hear about your problem but I'm going through the same thing my mum is dianogsed with a disease, my dad is an Alcoholic I'm a very pretty girl except for 1 thing which I won't mention.

In 2011 I Re-located Eventually my parents were out of a job it was extremely hard I did some terrible things to survive. I'm ashamed to say it but I stole just for food I cried everynight I had no shoes or a lot of clothes like other friends its hard trust me I know but then things started getting better I jus turned to god. Sometimes you think why is god doing this you feel so down but you are strong because you made it so far:)

I just wish I could go to another place start off again but then I can't leave my mom its just so hard

too young to be depressed
by: Anonymous

You are very young to have to cope with a situation like this, with your mother ill and the worry over money. It is not your fault or that of your family.
In the future this will pass and you will have a life worth living, you have years ahead of you yet. If you talk to someone you will find that they will have been through a rough time too at some stage of their life. With you it has been the teen age time.
Is there some adult or other family member who can give you support and what about brothers and sisters, they will be hurting too.
There is no reason why you should not have a bright future ahead of you, circumstances do change. Meanwhile do your best with your school work, if you get good grades that will help a lot towards getting you the life you will want. Try and socialise, maybe the people you will mix with will have something in their future that will be a challenge. The ability to deal with people and relate to them is a big way to getting where you want to go.

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