I have missed my opportunities in life

by Ernie
(Beverly Hills, Fl.)

I am 56 years old and I have come to realize that I have missed my opportunities in life. This is all because I was afraid that I was not good enough. As I was growing up I worked in my Dad's construction business.

When I was about 20 years old I decided that I was going to go back to school. I attended the University of Florida. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in Science. When I got out of school I was to afraid to get a job with my degree. So, I went back to my Dad's construction business.

After a few years I decided to get my Residential contractor's license. I never used that either, it does qualify the company. Currently I am part owner of the company, but I am still working construction.

I can't believe that I didn't do something with my degree or with my Contractor's license and I end up at the same place I started.

I am so ashamed and depressed with what I have done, I feel like I have done nothing.

Comments for I have missed my opportunities in life

Click here to add your own comments

Loved One
by: Anonymous

I don't believe in true love... but... I met a girl and I now that I didn't even make the effort I'm sure she doesn't even remember me; she liked me and I like her, but she lived in another country. I've dreamed about her 3 times and the 3rd time... my brain was basically telling you've missed the opportunity, because you didn't try. I should'e just tried or at least try to get some closure... Everyone says, "Go after every opportunity," but the ones who truly understand it are the ones who missed it and cried about it. Don't be the person who regrets about it cries about it. It may sound melodramatic, and I thought so too... until I met her.

Not always as it seems
by: Anonymous

I never had a family business to enter into. But I did take lots of risks. We only hear about people like Bill Gates, Richard Branson etc. But you never read about the millions who had their dreams crushed. Mine was by some bad luck and poor decisions and later by some unscrupulous businessmen. So I lost it all and at 45 am staring down the barrel of a gun with no livelihood and no money. So in fact maybe you did the right thing and didnt land up facing a life on the streets

Looking back is as important as planning forward
by: Everyone has missed opportunities

I understand what you are saying.

We are trained to be completely fixated on the future, identifying what we want and what our master plan is, and what we need to do, such as academic achievements, earning more money, but we are not trained to identify the risks, the roadblocks and emotional drawbacks that need to be dealt with and abandoned in order for us to achieve our master plan and what to do we begin to achieve our academic and financial goals.

Making more money is meaningless if you spend it. We are also not taught to review our progress, and to analyze and understand why the past year, or two or three have not lined up with the master plan. It is usually because we have not addressed the roadblocks.

We are not failures; we simply cannot achieve the master plan with grandeur if we have not reached a complete understanding of what it will take for us as individuals to succeed and the environment suitable for our success (business acumen or creativity is more suitable for the private sector).

You also need to achieve a state of total confidence and control to identify and accept the risks and to understand that you will need to bank the small successes, financial and otherwise rather than spending them to make progress.

Keep a diary and review it to keep track of how you are doing and to identify the missed opportunities. It will guide you on how to succeed and how to maintain it and it will reward you on successes that you overlook.

Do not worry
by: Amin

Dear Ernie
Why are you ashamed? Be sure that you will use this knowledge during your life. Your mistake is that you think you have got a degree just for one job.

by: Anonymous

We are given great opportunities, but for some reason we fail to pursue them. On MyMissedOpportunities.com you get to share that experience with the world. Lets help the world seize the day! One story at a time. Let no great opportunity pass us by!


by: Hayat

Worth cannot be calculated, but felt when things pass away!

Family Business
by: Doug Baumoel

The pull of a family business is enormous. From a pragmatic perspective, weighing risk and reward, it wasn't a bad decision and it was probably very logical. From a values perspective, it's a hard pill to swallow, not following your dream. From a psychological perspective, you're not to blame. Stakeholders raised in a family business typically suffer from low individuation. That is, they never truly leave their family of origin. This causes problems in their own nuclear families and makes them less likely to 'leave the nest'.

Read up on Bowen Family Systems theory to learn more. In summary, you made a logical, respectable decision; not everyone follows their dream - some don't have the opportunity, some don't have the guts, some are trapped in the family business treadmill and can't get off (that's probably you); and, you are a product of your environment - in subtle ways, you were programmed to pass outside opportunities by. Google me and give a call if you want to talk. Best of luck.

Be Proud
by: Anonymous

Most of us don't become what we always dreamed or imagined. The important thing is to live a positive life with respect.

Even more important to have family and friends that love you. I was a construction worker for 13 years, now I sit in a cube and miss those days of freedom and hard work! I would go back but after two back surgeries I am not going to make that change unfortunately.

Why are you ashamed
by: Anonymous

I wish I could have been a construction worker. Those guys are cool. What's so bad about that? I'd be proud to be one.

Unfortunately, I just work in the office and I'm ashamed of that. I hope I don't grow up to just be an office worker. That sucks. Although I wouldn't mind IT.

No one looks down on construction people. Anyway, don't people just get degrees to get any job. You don't control what you get, the job chooses you.

I took a degree because I couldn't make it as a construction worker or a hard labor type job. I'm not a man, I'm pathetic. You're a man, not me. I'm a weakling, pathetic excuse for a man.

by: Kay

You have said it all when you say you have told yourself so often that you are a loser that you now believe it. When you focus on things with a passion you attract the results you focus on.

You tell yourself time and time again that you are a loser, try letting yourself know that you are a winner, that you can do anything you like in life, have great potential, and everyone loves you.

As you tell these great things to yourself, really let yourself feel inside how wonderful it is to feel this way. Concentrate on this feeling of joy and let it bubble and grow inside you.

It might be a small feeling at first, but do this time and time again, really feel the joy and let this vibration come into your life.

Get rid of the negative thoughts and and bring in those positive vibrations. Don't stop letting yourself know how brilliant, calm and confident you are. Do this every day, as often as you think your negative thoughts, banish them to positive ones instantly.

It will work Dave, but only you can make it so.


by: Dave

I'm a 36 year old man. I am currently unemployed. I worked for many years in one field, and then a few years ago I decided to change careers. I went back to school, got a new degree and started working a job in my new field. It was a disaster...My boss was a bad guy and did a number on my self esteem. My confidence was completely shattered. Eventually the work dried up and I was laid off.

That was 6 months ago. I have been unsuccessfully job hunting since and being laid off has not helped with my self-confidence issues.

Now I have a possible job opportunity that can be a good thing, but I am scared to death. I feel like I am going to choke. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. I have told myself for so long that I am a loser, and now I believe it.

I want to know how to shut off these negative thoughts. I think I have potential, but somehow I always end up telling myself I'm no good.

Failure in Life
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Many people as they get older tend to look back on life with regret at things they didn't do, could have done but chose not to.
Sometimes life takes us in a different direction from what we wanted and dreamed about.

This does not mean you have failed, you did what was right for you at a particular time in your life. Because you are older, (and I am older than you, so I know exactly where you are coming from!)you are looking back on what seem to you to be your failures, when you should be concentrating on the many achievements that you have had in your life. I know from what you write that you have achieved much.

Take time to count your blessings, I suggest you sit and write them down, and you will see that there are many and that you have done a lot with your life.

You can't change the past but you can alter your future in any way you want. This is an exciting thought don't you think?

Think really hard about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Don't cut off a thought by saying you are too old, or no longer capable, or worse still, not worthy. Be excited that you can do whatever you want, you just have to take the first step towards achieving your dream.

Start today making new positive plans to do whatever it is that you dream of doing, and when you are 80 years of age you can look back and be proud of what you have done.

Don't let negative thinking stop you. With positive thinking, determination, and slow
easy steps towards what it is that you want, you will be able to alter your future, and be proud of what you have done with the whole of your life.

Good luck.

by: Fenix

It's ok it happens but at least you ended up with something it's true that you didn't use it but you have it.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Need Personal Growth Advice?.