I Hate My Life
I hate my life. I'm barely a teenager and I feel like crap almost everyday. I find myself bawling at least once a week. Sometimes I saw the words "I want to kill myself" and I start to cry even harder.
It all started less than a year ago when my parents switched me into a new school, I was a bit of a nerd at my old one so I thought this was a time to reinvent myself; it was the worst mistake I had ever made. It was a private school so the classes weren't big, either you fit in with the group provided or you spend your time wandering around on your own. I was given the popular crowd so I took it, I didn't look very nerd so I could manage.
I hated leaving my old friends though and my new ones, because I was too afraid to tell them the kind of person I really was, they didn't understand me. I missed and wanted my old friends back but I couldn't so I became miserable! I talked back to my parents refused to do my work, didn't study half as long as I needed to for tests.
What hurt even more is my parents don't seem to care, I almost never acted up before they switched my school and now I don't have an off switch. I try talking to them but the only time I have the courage is when I'm mad at them and they always shout me down.
I feel like I have no control over my own life. I feel like I'm nothing. The only reason I've not killed myself yet is I'm afraid of what's on the other side and I have a huge talent and love for writing. I think I have something great to offer the world but I don't know how long that is going to last; I'm sending my book to a publisher this summer and when they tell me its crap than I don't know how I'm going to convince myself.
I just want to be able to tell my parents what's going on, I want to be me again, I want to have my old friends back, I want to stop crying.