I hate my life

by doc_uk

I am 30 years old, just finished my post graduate training in a sub specialty of medicine (I am a doctor) and have a 9 month old cute baby daughter with my husband whom I married after 13 yrs of courtship.

I love him to bits and we have been married for 2.5 yrs....unhappily. Sometimes I wonder...did we never figure each other out in 13 years? have we changed? Is it possible to dislike someone so much and yet have a dull constant ache in my heart with love for him?

We were madly passionately in love with each other up until a few months ago. Now, I definitely dislike him a lot but love him loads, and I am sure he shares my sentiments.

We do not agree on anything, he dislikes all my little habits, and I his. More than half the days we are not talking to each other because we are angry.

He is under a lot of financial pressures from his parents and a widowed sister with 4 kids who are totally dependant on him and do nothing except whine and complain. I do not like being his punch bag. I am not appreciated. I am not going to waste my life because of him trying to live up to his parent's responsibilities (they are all lazy gits).

In short, I am very unhappy. If he is under pressure or stressed, he is fine with everyone else and takes it out on me. He does not shout, he just goes silent and stops talking to me. I could go on and on, but in short, I really wonder how it is possible to hate him so much and still love him so much.

I wish I could leave him but my heart near stops beating if I even think about it. I have messed up my life. There is no escape. I am destined to live in agony and mental torture. I hate my life.

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Life's Challenges
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.
Sometimes after the birth of a baby there is a period of adjustment needed because of the changes in routine, and the extra work and responsibilities parenting brings.

I feel you and your husband will both benefit a great deal by having some special time together. Find a sitter and go out and have some time to talk and be together as you were before you became parents. Make this a regular occurrence if you can.

He may be finding it difficult to adjust to sharing you with this little one who appears to take up so much of your time and energy. I also feel you may be feeling stress coping with the extra work a new baby brings.

You have many blessings in your life, and sometimes, when things are getting on top of us we tend to forget how fortunate we are, and we moan and groan about things, rather than focusing on our blessings. You know you love your husband, and yes, I agree, it is possible to love someone and yet not like them. However I think this is only a temporary feeling, caused by the stress you are both under.

You are only wasting your life if you believe this to be true. You have messed up your life, only if you believe this. There is always escape, but not if you believe there isn't. In reality every thought you have and put into action is forming your life. When you come to realise this you should see it is possible to change your life, purely by changing the thoughts that you put into action.

I feel you should sit down with your husband and tell him how you are feeling, let him know that you love him but aren't happy with life at the moment. Unless you can bring everything out in the open things may not change. You both have so much going for you it would be a great shame to lose it because you didn't share your thoughts with each other.

I wish you both joy in your future.


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