I get Angry and Jealous when my boyfriend goes out.

by shelly
(Duncan B.C Canada)

I've always been this way. I am trying to change, but I'm scared to. If I change will he start doing the things that scare me, like cheating, flirting with ladies, going out more and ignoring me?

I keep having dreams of him cheating and I wake up mad and angry at him. How do I change this awful behaviour before we break up?

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angry and jealous
by: Anonymous

I think that you need to take a good look at this relationship and sort out your feelings. Insecurity plays a big part in jealous feelings. What are both your interests and hobbies? You do not have to be interested in the same pastimes and it may mean you going independently to these activities.
If he is into sport or other male based activities you might be more interested in music or craft work. If this is the case there is nothing to worry about. If however he is into partying with mates and you do not want to go along with that, examine your feelings.
I would say let time go by, bring up any issues you are worried about with him but try and discuss these rationally, it is no good getting really upset and having a blazing row if there is no need for it.

Not everyone is interested in the same things, it would be a dull world if this were so. If there is something still worrying you, I would seek some counselling.

by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Have you thought of going out with your friends on the evenings when he goes out with his? There's no reason why you should sit at home and depress yourself with negative thoughts about what he is doing.

When we let jealous thoughts into our mind, often that's all they are, thoughts. The problem is once we allow them in then we tend to think and rethink, and each time we get more angry and hurt.

I feel the way you should change is by becoming more sure of yourself. You can do this by doing something you love to do, this will bring you pleasure. Take care of yourself, tell yourself how wonderful you are, how worthwhile. Stop doubting your boyfriend or these doubts will ruin everything. When you love someone there has to be trust. Make sure you go out together often.

Most importantly go out with your friends, don't sit at home with your jealousy.

Good luck,

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