I feel stupid
I am a college student with a learning disability. My grades are really important to me, and I really want to go to grad school. However, I have a a lot of trouble memorizing information for exams, even though I will completely understand the material before the exam. Most of the time, I feel like my test grades don't show how hard I worked, or even my true intelligence. It's hard when I'm surrounded by students who score high on exams when I work just as much as they do. I feel like I can't enjoy learning anymore because of the bad exam grades I receive, and my professors understand.
I've been dealing with this problem since elementary school. I want to be able to show people how smart I can be without exams. Maybe I picked the wrong major that requires so much memorization, but I really enjoy the topic. But now I don't enjoy going to class, and I feel inferior to other students.
I am scared that I will always feel inferior to smarter people. And I don't want to share this because I am ashamed I am complaining about something so meaningless in the grand scheme of life, which is just a letter grade on a piece of paper. I want to be more than just a house-wife in the future. I want to have a job and be successful like the majority of Americans. I've already heard from so many people that either my studying habits are wrong or that I just don't understand the information. This isn't true, and I know that because this problem has lived with me all my life. It's my ability to comprehend hard exam questions and to remember information that I literally just learned.
It's especially hard when my parents expect so much from me, but they don't think I'm naturally smart either. I used to think I was smart, but not anymore. I have already heard about the numerous success stories about top CEOs and scientists who have either dyslexia or ADHD. But at least they were able to succeed in their actual passions. So far, I have not been able to do so, mostly because of my learning comprehension disorder.
I guess it could be worst. I'm not mentally retarded, and I'm not poor. Everyone has issues, I know that. But this one is mine, and it's affecting my whole perception about what I can accomplish.