I am so alone at 36 years
Thanks so much for your forum. I am 36 years old female. I am miserable because I am alone - I have so far gone through 4 break ups and it is taking a toll on me. I cannot function anymore. I don't believe in love anymore. I met a guy recently and everything seemed to be going great until he told me he wants to be "just friends" because though I have good traits... my bad traits were rubbing him the wrong way. He says I am possessive and compulsive with my relationships and asks me all the time" have you always been like this with all your relationships?". I am starting to believe there's something wrong with me. I have a great career and make good money - I pay my own bills - I always worked hard because I thought when I have everything else - love will find me... My job and success does not give me joy any more.
I want a family so bad that I am so miserable. I don't enjoy anything any more. I don't go out or call my friends, siblings or mom. I just want to stay in my bedroom forever and not talk to anybody. I just want to fade away.
I pretend things are great because I don't want my mom or anybody to know how I feel inside. I put on a great show at work and in public - a fake "happy me" but all in all am lonely and miserable. I am tired of acting this way.. I want to be happy - is there hope for someone like me? If I will never meet someone to share my life with - is there a way I can learn to be happy without love/family/husband?? I Please help. Thanks.