Friend's Low Self Esteem

by Dave

I am a male and I have a female friend who does not seem to feel good about herself and is overall not happy.

She is completely stressed out and indicated to me that she does not like asking people for help when she needs it. She is overwhelmed. She does not seem to be taking care of her needs - she is getting hardly any sleep, etc.

What can I do to help her? I have to be careful as I don't want to give the impression that I am looking for a romantic relationship with her as I view her strictly as a good friend. She and I do have a mutual friend who might or might not help me discuss the situation with her.

Thanks for your suggestions.

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Low Self Esteem
by: Kay

Hi Dave,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. Everyone should have a good friend like you!

Its rather difficult to build up someones self esteem, because self esteem is based entirely on how they see themselves.

Can you perhaps point out to your friend that when she spends her time focusing totally on what she can't do, or how stressed she is, she is talking herself into becoming this way.

Let her know that her subconscious can't tell a lie from the truth, and so the more she dwells on her problems the more real they become. She has to accept this fact to enable her to change the way she is.

Tell her that she does have a choice, she can either think unhappy stressful things about herself, or she can decide to change the way she thinks, and focus on the way she wants to be.

It purely is a matter of thought. Thoughts become reality. When she accepts this, and starts thinking in a positive way, her subconscious will come to believe all the good stuff she is telling it (even if it's not true initially!) and she will change the way she is.

I would recommend that you buy her (coz you sound really nice!) a copy of the DVD called The Secret, and both of you take time to sit and watch it together. It's a wonderful DVD that I am sure will benefit her.

Or you may rather purchase the book The Secret if she's not into watching DVDs.

Of course you could always recommend that she reads this website!

I hope I have helped in some way.

Happy new year to you both,

Love light and rainbows,

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