by Maryam

I am getting into a depression phase. I'm feeling so bad that I don't sleep as usual. I lost weight. And I feel there's a heavy thing on my heart that makes me hard to breath.

I am in a relationship with someone I love. And he also loves me. Everything was going good. I was so happy with him. Till the day when we had a fight because I lied to him about something I thought was trivial. And he hates lying.

We had a big fight and he slapped me on my face and did other physical violence. It wasn't harmful I was not injured. But deep down inside I'm hurt. I love him so much. But since then I am thinking that he's going to beat me all the time if we got married. He is saying that I am imagining something that will not happen. Or if it happened it will be 2 or 3 times in the lifetime.

My problem now is that I love him. I can't take the decision to leave and at the same time I am so scared and I think it is better to leave. The two choices are so hard for me.

What shall I do??

Comments for Fear

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by: Kay

Hello Maryam,

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.

I felt very sad as I read your message, which is about your love for the man in your life and yet you have entitled your message "fear"

Love is not fear Maryam. Love is happiness and sharing with someone, trusting, and never wanting to hurt them, even when they upset you. A relationship should never be based on fear, for how can you be happy knowing that you may get hurt by the person who you love, or who says he loves you?

No one deserves to be hit, it is not right, and you should not have to accept that there may be an occasion that you might be hurt for doing something wrong.

The man you love hasn't said it will never happen again, but has told you that it might, but not more than 2 or 3 times in a lifetime. What right has anyone to hit you, even once, Maryam?

Try to value yourself more, you are a worthwhile person who surely deserves a love that is not based on fear?

I am not telling you to leave this man, for it is not my place to do that. Your life is your own, and the choice has to be yours whether you stay or go.

I wish you love, not fear, in your life Maryam.


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