Don't have any motivation
Two years ago my twin died of leukemia. I'm 17 now and I don't have any motivation in my life I go to church twice a week or as often as I can I try to find motivation in myself and in The Lord and in myself but I can't. I think I am depressed. I am not sucidial or close to it I just want to be happier in my life and spread that happiness to others but I have to start with myself.
On Christmas my mom said she wanted to take all the medicine we had from when my sister was sick and kill herself. I don't know how to even begin to handle that I have a pretty good level of self confidence but I don't have the motivation I know if I try I could do great things but then I have the fear of what if I can't. What if I fail. My conscience is eating me alive and I do not know how to fix my mind. I want to go and help people and change the world for the better I love seeing smiles and laughter all around. I love taking peoples worries and letting them just be a bad dream to all involved. I just need some good work ethic and motivation to get me there . Thank you for taking the time to read this.