depression, low self esteem, no motivation
I am 30 years old and I can't keep a job. I suffer from a lack of self confidence, very low self esteem and no motivation to follow my dreams.
I thought I might suffer from depression so I went and spoke with some therapist who asked me try the anti-depressant lexapro. This really made me feel uncomfortable and not my self. As a result of the medication my pupils were dilated, I was grinding my teeth, basically I felt like I was on drugs. So I went back to the therapist (tried a few different ones) and they thought I might be bi-polar and asked me to try another prescription medicine (forgot the name). This one was not a anti-depressant but a "mood stabilizer". It is supposed to keep me balanced from having major highs and major lows. So far this is my third week on the medication and I feel worse than I did when I started.
I am beginning to think that I do not suffer from a problem that requires medication but from very low confidence in my self and my abilities and no self esteem what so ever which is affecting my motivation and social life not only with friends but with my family.
I seriously need help because I don't have any answers and am not sure what to do. My lack of motivation is getting me deeper into depression and I am scared that one day it will get so bad that I will end up hurting my self. I am not sure what this website is about but there is my story and I hope someone is able to provide me with some insight on what I am going through.