Depressed unable to function

I am 26 years old and I'm still an undergrad. By the time I graduate it will have taken me 7 years to get my BA and I'll still have 2 years of grad school to forward to.

I have only had two boyfriends my whole life and they both used me for sex. I don't have any friends. I have one acquaintance who is overall rude, judgmental and negative so I don't spend much time with her.

I'm not young anymore and I'm far from skinny, who would want me? Its hard to make friends because I'm older than everyone else and I'm not into parties. I'm too fat for that. I have dealt with major depression and a mild eating disorder for more than a decade. I want to just not eat for a whole month.

I feel like everyone hates me and that they think I am fat, ugly and worthless. I cant seem to shake the depression, and I have tried EVERYTHING. I'm thankful that my parents put up with me and let me live with them, but I'm starting to feel like maybe its time to move again. I'd have to live very frugally but I don't mind that. It would be easier to go without eating. I wouldn't be surrounded by the garbage my parents eat. Maybe it would be better to stay with my parents so that I can save money for school. I'm bored, isolated, broke and tired of commuting.

I want to change my life and become happier and skinnier and have friends and a boyfriend. I want to eventually marry and have children I just don't know if it will happen for me. I'm also doing very poorly in school, I was nearly kicked out, I picked up my grades got straight A's and I'm on the downward spiral again.

I'm TIRED of being depressed. I ache to not have to get up and feel this way everyday. Really, my life is great, yeah its missing a few pieces, but those are things I can change, but I am just so depressed.

I can't do anything. I have a hard time studying and doing everything. I've tried antidepressants and the last round made me so nauseous. What can I do?

Comments for Depressed unable to function

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Same Boat
by: Anonymous

I know exactly where you're coming from....... I am also 26 and still an undergrad, probably wont get my BA until I'm 30 which depresses the hell out of me. I have fought weight issues my whole life but have been going to the gym for the past few months and have controlled it to a point where I don't feel completely hideous.

My depression really roots more in the age and still being in school factor as opposed to my weight. I read and hear "age is just a number" and "you're never to old to go back to school", but I swear knowing that I'm older than most people in my classes and watching stuff like college movies or springbreak MTV depresses me more because I think I should've done all that 6 years ago and I should now be in a next step of my life. As much as it makes me feel bad that I'm still in school, I think I'd feel worse if I quit and not finished what I've started.

So I apologize that I don't have advice to give you as we are in similar situations, but just know that you are not alone.

Take care and hope everything works out for you in the end :)

Self thoughts
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. The thoughts you have towards yourself are negative. You say you are too fat, nobody likes you, 26 is not old, it is young, 50 is young, 60 is young, age is just a number. Everything depends on how you feel about you, and you have to love yourself first and foremost.

Start by changing your self talk. Tell yourself that you are a worthwhile human being, that you are perfect and everyone loves you for how you are.

The attitude you have is important in what happens to you. Poor attitude, poor result, positive attitude, good result. You have it in your power to change your life. However unless you act on the fact that you want to change, nothing is going to. Nobody can change you but you. You say there are things you can change, but you have to realise that you can in fact change everything by thinking and then doing.

I know its not going to be easy, but thinking about what you want and then giving up before you try is getting you nowhere. I assume, because you have been taking anti depressants that you have taken medical advice. Have you had couselling? Maybe this can help you.

Be kind to yourself, stop the negative attitude you have and say good things to the inner you. It's what's inside that makes you special. Bring good feelings within by realising how worthwhile you are. Act on the thoughts that tell you to change that you hold back on. Become the person you long to be by allowing yourself to think well of the person you are.

Good luck.


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