conflict with a co-worker

by Frances

I went away on holiday and found a temp to do my job until I came back. When I returned she had decided that she liked and wanted my job permanently.

She actually "took over" and made a good impression on my boss who in turn decided that she was "better" at the job than me, so he actually found me another position in the company which I found out about by accident through the grapevine that I was being demoted I supposed you would say.

I still have to have contact with this co-worker and she seems to be gloating. I feel really hurt and my self confidence is shattered, it never was brilliant but now its worse than ever.

I could up and leave which I am sort of working on, but I would rather learn how to deal with this situation before I do leave, so I know in the future how to handle a problem like this...sorry this is so long but I need help to restore (one) my confidence and (two) how to deal with this person apart from ignoring her, which I can't as we need to communicate with work. thank you hope you can help me.

Comments for conflict with a co-worker

Click here to add your own comments

co-worker problem
by: Kay

Hi Frances

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. What a horrible thing to have happened. I have been mulling over what's the best advice I can give you.

I think what you could do to make you feel really good about yourself, and restore your confidence, is to go and talk to this person who took over your job and tell her how much you are enjoying the job you now have, and thank her for this!
Then go on to let her know that if she needs any help with her job you will be happy to assist.

Can you imaging how good that will make you
feel about yourself - I hope so, because I sure can!

You have to gain your control back within yourself and this should do it. This girl can only gloat when she thinks she's got the better of you, when you thank her and tell her how much you enjoy this new position, and how happy you are, she can't very well gloat any more can she?

Try not to be unhappy in what you are doing now, but be determined to do a great job, and don't look on it as a demotion, tell yourself that your boss couldn't bear to lose you, and so found you another, better position.

If you have spoken to people about this before, now tell them that you are happy with this new job and how lucky you are that this other person took over from you.

I know it will take a certain amount of courage to do this when you have had your confidence knocked, but please try it, I have a feeling it might just do the trick!

Good luck,

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Need Personal Growth Advice?.