Bipolar disorder, Unstable personality, No self-esteem.

by Anonymous

I am X years old and, for the last 10 years have been plagued with an extremely unstable personality disorder.

I used to be very confident in my abilities and very driven in my career. I have now lost all confidence through a series of disappointments and realisations that I am hopeless at anything even vaguely practical.

I also have recurring flashbacks of an event 3 years ago when I crashed a small plane I was flying at the time.

I was also disowned by my family and community for subsequently pursuing a fairly self-destructive lifestyle (which I have since extricated myself from) however, I am still distant from family and community despite every effort on my part.

I am extremely depressed.

Comments for Bipolar disorder, Unstable personality, No self-esteem.

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I Understand
by: dana karson

Your comments touched me deeply. I am in the same situation you are in. Bipolar illness, unable to be consistent, family completely abandoned me, husband left me. It has been 16 years since I was diagnosed. In all that time I have done nothing. I am on many medications. I do not know how I will wake up from day to day.

I have found that although I am deeply depressed right now, my belief in a higher power who wants me to stay on earth for a reason is the only thing that has kept me from committing suicide. I can only keep thinking about the higher power, God, whatever. I am so sad and so alone, I am practically non-existent. Everything I start, I quit. I am obese, sedentary, non-working, friendless, without family, without spouse or children.

I urge you to be patient with yourself. Bipolar disorder changes you into someone you never knew before. I look at the sun each morning and the sunset each evening and am thankful for them. I keep a list around my home of all the things I am grateful for in life. I have a list of how to get ready to go somewhere in less than an hour, so that I get to my doctors on time. I list everything I need to do and feel good when I can cross something off the list.

Please realize that there is so much to be grateful for all around us. I have the best kitty in the world. I love her. I have good doctors, am alive, see the sun, I am intelligent and understand complex issues. I am educated and was very successful before my illness and I am grateful for that past. I am kind, giving, yet very much in touch with reality. I am grateful for that because I know people who are not in touch with reality. I can afford my lifestyle, can do what I want if I am feeling well and have the ability to rest when I need to. I am grateful for that.

Please, list all that you are grateful for, even the pretty colors of your rooms, what is outside for you to see. Consider pet therapy; I think it is wonderful. Maybe you like flowers, plants and can get enjoyment out of watching them grow and change. Think of anything you can, even your white teeth, or great figure, or face, or whatever it is you have. Show your gratitude to the people you have contact with. Volunteer. I did this for years and am very grateful that I did it. Hopefully, some of this will help you to feel better.

Unfortunately, I do not have advice for our basic complaints, instability, lack of family, friends or deep sadness or mania. I try to think that before I die I will do something significant to me. It does not have to be significant to anyone else. Just to me. And I look to my God for support and promise to give back. It is important to give back. Good luck. I'll be thinking of you. dana

No self - esteem
by: Stacey (England)


I just wanted to share with you this fact, the DVD that Kay has recommended to you, 'The Secret' please get a copy of this and watch it.

I have been watching this every day for well over a week, even twice in one day, if I do not have time to watch it I put it in my lap top and turn up the volume and have it on in the back ground as I do jobs around my house.

It truly is helping me get through something I have been trying to deal with for over three years, and it is helping me change my thinking deep within and my outlook on my life is so much different and is getting better!

I am sure this DVD will help you, then you will be able to title your next letter 'stable and full of self-esteem'

Sending you loads of support, you can and will get through this stage in your life,

Stacey x

Bipolar disorder -No self esteem
by: Kay

Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth. I am really sorry to hear of the many things you are having problems with.

Bipola disorder is manageable and I hope you are taking medical advice for this. I know it will take quite some time until you come through this illness, but you can when you try your best to stay determined to beat it.

I also realise you need to have positive understanding people, around you, and it must be more difficult not having the support of your family.

When things haven't gone right, or in the way you hoped, it doesn't mean that you are hopeless, and when you react in this way and tell yourself this information, then this is how will be. When you focus on being healthy and happy, and really believe this is how you are, you will become this way.

The inner you is is unique, worthwhile, and very special, but you have to change your thoughts about yourself to be this way.

When you do nothing but focus on what you feel is wrong with you, you cause yourself to be like this. So focus on what you want to be like rather than what you don't want to be like.

Talk to yourself, feed your mind constantly with positive information. However you want to be, tell yourself you are this way, not you will be this way, but you are this way. So, "I am a very confident person," not "I am going to be confident."

Break free from your negative thoughts, you have the choice to be whatever way you want. You have the power within to be however you choose. Become determined to make yourself a strong positive person.

I recommend the DVD The Secret to you. It is a very powerful thought provoking movie, and if you can apply it to your life it will change how you are.

Good luck, remember, you hold the power.

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