by susan
(kingman az)

I'm a 54 year old lesbian. I've worked hard my entire life. I had a good life and many friends until one nite I was in a horrible motorcycle wreck an suffered a tbi among other injuries. My reasoning an good choices had seemed to left me. I sold my home took an early retirement and moved to a cheaper place to live. I returned to a less stressful job.

I met what I thought was my life partner here she understood the problems my tbi had left me with and helped me work through them when they came up. 4 yrs into our relationship she was taken away by cancer.

Within a year after she past I became permanently disabled with my back and due to my tbi was not considered re-trainable. During this time I lost everything, my house, my cars, my motorcycle..just about everything I owned. I've moved into a mobile home that I was able to purchase the land and the home so bills are not an issue.

It just seems my confidence and self esteem has gone away. Ive started into a couple new relationships but they fall apart due to my lack of self confidence issues and I am finding I am jealous of those who have everything I used to.

While I was down with my back I gained weight (a lot) but I have been going to the gym and have lost most of it but I am still lacking my confidence.. I don't feel I am good enough for anyone or that someone better will come along and take the new relationship away from me.

I have tried and tried to overcome these self confidence and jealousy issues because I know they are what keeps me alone and they are my problem not anyone elses.. I just don't know how to overcome these things.

Comments for alone

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by: Anonymous

Poor you, you have been having a hard time but let us hope there will be some light on the horizon. Very few of us get through life without some rough patches, I have been through mine. There will be an end to it sometime or other and you have to keep on hoping. There is always someone worse off than yourself and maybe helping them may help to offset the loneliness and loss that you are at the moment feeling.

The only advice that I can give just keep on keeping on and life will sort itself out. People will come into your life and maybe help you to lift this awful aloneness that you are feeling at the moment. I wish you well.

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