I hate my life and feel hopeless

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I hate my life and feel hopeless

I am 30 now but still living with my parents. It is demoralizing. I have never felt fully happy because even as a child I was semi-conscious of the fact that my parents were dealing with heavy things.

I feel that I have made a complete botch job of my life. I have generally made poor decisions in most facets of my life. When I was about 19 I decided that I didn't care anymore and I was just going to drink a lot and have a lot of sex. I have always had very low self esteem.

I realized around 23 that I wanted a better life and started making attempts at getting that but the booze had hooked me and it took a very long time to give it up. Meanwhile I was searching for someone to love me and take care of me and perhaps save me...with disastrous results. I kind of gave up on that but yet still found myself waking up in bad relationships.

I did manage to get a degree but, unfortunately, it was in dance which I don't have any interest in anymore...I despise it in fact. About four years ago, after trying to find happiness by changing locations (something I have tried many times), I came back to my parents completely defeated. I still made a couple of escape attempts after that but none of them were successful. I have read so many "self help" and "find your calling" books it is ridiculous. I have been to AA and NA and SAA meetings. I have been on and off of numerous medications. Life coach, career counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, church, yoga, meditation, you name it, I have tried it.

I usually don't stay consistent with anything, though right now I am attempting to form a consistent relationship with a psychologist. I do have some practical plans right now which I am not terribly excited about but I do see as a way to solve some of my problems (CNA route to nursing school).

I just don't know how I am going to survive with the sadness and frustration that I feel so much of the time. I hate living here and I see no way out for about a year. I see no way out of the sadness and suffering that I feel and the years just keep on passing. I attempt to feel grateful for what I have but then I just start crying. I really am a cool person...smart, funny, into music, art and clothing...very nice in general but I cannot find friends that are deep or seem to understand me at all.

I am very isolated and feel unappreciated by my family. Perhaps people sense the dark side of me? Though when I was living in Portland, OR, people were more open to me than they are here in the south. I would like to get back out there but it seems impossible.

I have rambled on enough. If you have anything to share that might help, I would appreciate it. Thank You!

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I hate my life and feel hopeless

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Hi
by: Anthony

I come from a dysfunctional family, my mother lost a child, (my brother) at a young age, I still have memories of him, I was five when he died at two and a half years. The death from cancer caused my mother to turn to drink and put a wedge between her and my father whom I never got to know as he was never around.

My early and teenage years were blighted by my mothers drinking. My father was back and forth and was a womaniser. I was an only child until at the age of nine my sister came along.

I dropped out of school at 15 due to bullying, my father thought I was just being lazy and beat me, I could not communicate my feelings to him. At 17 I spent six months in a day-hospital as I had developed a type of social phobia that could be interpreted as extreme shyness. I spent my twenties slowly emerging out of my introversion, and drifting between dead-end jobs.

In my thirties I started to get into drinking and clubs where I could lose myself for a night, I tried college as a mature student at 33 for two years, I studied IT but grew to hate it. I did nothing with my life and now in my forties I am feeling suicidal.

Could be worse
by: Anonymous

Things can't be all bad. Your kinda hot, and at least you still have you family.
I moved away for school, to try to better my self. Since then, I lost my father, lost two pets, oh and had to send my girl friend to rehab, cause she stole my atm card several times, to buy pills. I didn't find out till she completely drained my bank account. All of that happened over the last few months and that goes along great with my depression and ptsd from 2years in Iraq, history of cheating girl friends, life long lack of trust in others, anger/aggression issues and unpredictable personality.

Sounds to me like your life ain't all that bad.

You are not alone
by: Anonymous5

You've written all of the things I myself have been feeling over the past decade. I'm about to turn 30; I don't have a career, but I have a job (contracts only); I have a degree I can't use; I have a husband who doesn't care for me but we stay together for our children; and I have debt up to my eyeballs.

I recently went back to school on a part-time basis to try to make something of myself career-wise... but I have doubts of that going any where. A lot of the time it is difficult to just get out of bed and bother getting dressed nicely for work. It's all I ever do it seems - get up, go to work, come home. I have nothing fun to ever look forward too. Not even weekends... just laundry... and cleaning the house.

I've mentioned my loneliness/sadness to my husband and he says "what do you want me to do about it?" and shrugs his shoulders and then goes back to his computer games. I'm at my wits end and I see no light at the end of the tunnel... because honestly, if I did leave him, I have no financially sound future with my salary. Anyway, sorry for my own depressing rant... as you can see, you are not alone in your feelings about life.

Life sucks
by: D

This world totally sucks and I hate being forced to live in it. I had no choice about being born and I have no say over my own life. I ask every day for a quick painless death but that wish has yet to be granted.

I am tired of being a cog in the machine of life. I am 40 years old and it feels like I have lived 80 years already because every day of my life is just one endless day after another. I am too much of a pussy to end my own life so every night I go to bed I ask god to end my life in my sleep so I can move on to the next world. I am grateful for the fact that I am healthy and have a loving wife but I am tired of being forced to work everyday when I just want to have the freedom to do what I want to do. I finally figured it out one night, I asked myself why is it that every job I have ever had has never made me happy, well, it dawned on me like a revelation. It's not the job persay that makes me unhappy it is the fact that I am forced to have a job in the first place. Well, 2 weeks ago I find out that my wife is pregnant and then on the very next day I lose my job. Talk about a double whammy. Well, I am 50 % happy because I am out of a job and have free time but I am totally stressed out because I have no money coming in which forces me to look for another job which starts the vicious cycle all over again. I just don't care about living anymore but that is out of my hands. See, I can't win, it is impossible. THANKS A LOT GOD !!!!!!!!! :-(

hopeless
by: Anonymous

I feel hopeless about life, I have no job, no future ambitions and plans and am always afraid to go out of my comfort zone in any situation.

I recently graduated from university and am now 22, but have never had the courage to do anything outside my ordinary patterns. I have never had a relationship or asked anyone out in my life and feel like a loser living off my parents.

I am feeling so lost and don't know how to change myself to be less shy and willing to take more steps to improve myself.

What is going on?
by: Not important

I hope admin of this site may really understand s/he is not helping people that much. Half of these people hate their lives wow! surprise.. most wants to die or kill themselves. I can imagine effect of those comments in some 14yr old person. Some are pretty cool ones, whom are playing big minds For them stop being a smart-ass and shout people. For others, you dont seem like looking for a solution. You are not helping others. You have to change your life, but when u write it u have responsibility about how it may effect some people. Be a sparkle not a dead note. Oh i am sorry i have to leave because this site has a DONATE near.. cmmn'

________________________________________________

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate what you are saying but some people don't have anywhere to say how they feel and they can do this on the blog with anonymity. If you take the time to read the pages on this website you will see that it is totally aimed at helping people to move forward in their lives.

The blog is for people to write about how they feel, I would love it to be nothing but positive comments, but as you can see, life's not like that.
Love
Kay
x

Have some hope!
by: Mallory

After reading this, I found myself filled with sadness and sympathy for you. I am very sorry to hear that you feel this way about your life and I know that you don't know me so I hope nothing sounds out of line but I have a little advice that might assist you in your journey to happiness.

The first is just that... happiness is a journey. It takes time and remember that it is not measured by what you have or how successful you are. It is something that resides within you!
Which is similar to my next piece of advice... Everything is a process. Nothing changes overnight, you know? And in a lot of ways this is a good thing! If you just work on something new or something challenging every single day.. You'll get there before you know it! Don't worry about the big things just yet.
Instead, concentrate on small baby steps in the right direction and you'll be reaching the end of the path to happiness in no time!

If there is something you like, anything at all, immerse yourself in it! I know you said you have tried a lot to help shake the sadness but have you done all the things you love and enjoy?
Maybe write in a journal or go on a road trip or horseback ride! Anything you love or want to do. The first thing I think you need is to work on yourself and your emotions. You can't work on getting a new degree or a new job if you are so upset and hopeless!

Another trick is to tell yourself that you ARE happy. I know this sounds fruitless and maybe difficult to do but you'd be surprised how it effects your self conscious if your conscious mind tells you that everything is alright!
Whenever you are feeling down, get up and get out there or at least remove yourself from the situation and tell yourself, "I'm fine. I'm alive. I am happy."
In no time, you'll believe it and IT WILL COME TRUE.
My last piece of advice is to look at the other side of things. Life can ALWAYS get worse. You sound like an absolutely awesome person! Your parents love you, and even strangers like me care for you! Don't think that it's so bad.. I know it's tough but there are many people that don't have it as good as you do!!!
I wish you the best of luck and I hope this helps.
Remember... stay true to yourself and take baby steps and you'll be a nurse (or whatever you decide) with your own place, someone to love you, and loads of happiness!!!
If you want to contact me, shoot me and email: malibuu888@aol.com. BEST WISHES LOVE!

I hate my life and feel hopeless
by: Alien Angel

I hope you enjoy reading because I would like to take you on the journey that I had and changed my life forever.
These books gave me understanding and solace. And to add to that total enjoyment. I followed up by going to spiritual churches and just listening to other possibilities of life and existence, and the reasons why we have to endure such torture. I promise you will have something to think about after these books.

Dr. Brian Weiss: Many Lives / Many Masters

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Many-Lives-Masters-Prominent-Psychiatrist/dp/0749913789/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327229483&sr=1-1

And

Dr. Bruce Goldberg: Past Lives / Future Lives

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Past-Lives-Future-Bruce-Goldberg/dp/034535575X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327229302&sr=1-1

I am a complete failure
by: Anonymous

I am 50 years old and can only see a long list of failures from my past. I have been married 3 times, all failures, the last for 13 years to a monster. He was the most heinous human being I have ever encountered and sadly I stayed with him. He hit me, spit on me, cursed me at the top of his lungs every day. Isolated me from my friends and family, called me names, threatened me. Took all my innermost secrets and used them against me so that I couldn't leave him. He threatened to kill me, humiliated me in public, called me a whore and the c word in front of my father.

But the absolute worst is my children from my previous marriage are permanently scarred from him. I HATE myself and will never forgive myself for being so physically and mentally afraid of him that I did not seek the strength to leave him until he turned on my daughter one day and spewed the worst vile, hurtful comments. Then.. I found the strength to tell my brother and through a six month process, while he locked me out of my room and garage (my home I paid mortgage on) and threatened my life day and night I finally got rid of him.

It's been 7 years and he broke my soul and made me hate myself for not having the balls to do this at the beginning for my babies.. I hate myself. I failed at the only thing that matters in life... protecting my children. I deserve to go to hell.

Its not gonna change: enjoy it though
by: Raj

Amen to that! I feel the same. I AM the same.
For me (and I don't presume to know you), It is BOTH the issue and the solution to the issue.

The issue is that I feel lonely: but when someone wants to know me better, I run away from it. Its not to say there are no relationships I've had. but deep down : I know that when I am in these relationships: I have already decided that It has to end. I think (for me) its about keeping an important part of me to myself. Almost like if someone gets to know the real me then I WONT REMAIN ME.

I go into these relationships knowing very well I want an expiry date on it. More often than not the women I have been involved with are loving and caring: and wonderful human beings. They have taken care of me, fed me, been there for me and been patient. But one fine day: I decide: I tell them and I walk out. I don't make excuses. " It's me; its not you" and I tell them what I feel without being abusive.

It always surprises them that a person who knows so much about themselves; KNOWS what the problem is and does not seem to care enough to fix it. and therein lies the SOLUTION: keeping myself aloof, allows me to introspect like no one else. It also allows for me to be "brutally honest" about myself.

I am not on Facebook or any social networking sites. I carry very little and what I do I keep it neat and tidy. I don't impinge on others space: and I don't expect to be bothered. I like dark dingy smokey pubs: everybody having a great time, me at the bar; drinking and looking at my drink. I avoid eye contact: don't bother smiling, don't bother anyone and don't want anyone to bother me.

People find me very interesting to talk to, if and when I do. Lots of people get noisy and love company when they drink. Not me. I sit alone. I drink and don't say anything. I have a very low esteem of myself.

Relate
by: 29 y/o man

I feel the same and wish I could help those who can relate because I know first hand how tough it is. We all deserve a medal for having made it through life despite such difficulties!

It is just damn hard
by: Someone

I am struggling my ass of.. yes i know there are people that are worse off than me and i feel bad about that... I come from South Africa.. I am a white South African. It is hard leaving a county that you were born in... leaving family and friends behind...

Moved to Australia for a "better" life... yeah.. it is a great country and all.. but i feel like this is a lost cause... lived in Adelaide for 7 years and had pretty much the worst few years of my life there... Had friends and stuff... but never that someone special (I'm 21 by the way) nothing seemed to happen in Adelaide and moved to the gold cost instead.. Still nothing happened... for another 9 months.... work has been cr*p because there is none up here and the whole reason i moved here is for work.. so i went back to Adelaide for work for 3 weeks... and what happens... on the first damn day i am there i meet this awesome girl... who i like very very much and i know she likes me too... but i knew it won't be easy because she is with someone else... the first time in my life where i felt like "wow.. can this really be happening, a girl this awesome who likes me, must be dreaming" but now with this my luck comes back again and bite's me in the butt.... I don't ask for much... not at all... there are a few other details that i will not mention.. but i know that we would be great together.. but i will need to let things go as it wants to as hard as it is....and now i am back to square one... with nothing....I'm done...."not talking about suicide" I'm just done....

You're right.
by: Justin

You had said that you like the people in Portland better because they were more open to You. You're right. I'd say that the best thing for you is to get around different people that actually will accept you for who you are and will help you change into the person you want to be.

Of course there's all these books on self help but here's one thing they don't tell you in these books; If you're trying to better yourself you need people that know you are doing so, you need those people to help you through it and make sure that you stay on the path that you made to betterment.

But what do I know, I'm only a 20yr old kid who believes that anyone can do anything that they put their head, heart and will to. I believe in you. Don't give up...EVER. :)

life
by: trish

You cant' expect someone else to save you. You will have to decide what you want to do and do it. Do you have a job? Do you have to live with your parents or are you just doing it because it is easy? there is nothing wrong with taking the nursing cna track to get you out of this situation but if you are really not interested you need to use it to help you to become independent from your parents and then figure out what you need to do.

Life is a process - you say you have a degree in dance but even if you have no interest you can use some of your core classes when you find what you want to do(if you decide to go back to college).
Honestly - the first step you should take is to decide that you aren't a failure-you are just like the rest of us-a work in progress- and rather than trying to find a relationship to define you-decide what kind of life you want-what's really important to you and take steps to achieve that.

so young, so depressed
by: fred

I am only 12 years old and that is not a lie. I have a horrid life and my family can be very unfair. My whole school hates me and the teachers aren't any better. My family will end up never getting along with me. i KNOW IT.

The only person i started to look up to was my dad. He would laugh with me, talk to me, and hang around with me. I am getting a deeper feeling every day that he doesn't love me. He pays less attention to me and gets angry at me for reasons that are stupid. My life is horrible and I am honestly wondering: either the hate must end or possibly my life.

I'm ugly & fat (never should have been born)
by: Anonymous

I am 49 (I would like to say I am a woman but since I was told I am not even human but a disgusting monster.....) anyway, I still live with one of my remaining parents (as the other passed away almost 9 years ago).

My problem is I am hideous looking and no one wants to look at me let alone be on the same planet as me. Pathetic as it is, I have come to live in my own little world after I graduated (which was over 30 years ago). So for those over 30 years I have had 2 soap operas that I lived and breathed on and one of them was taken away from me this past Friday and the other one is rumored to end in September. Being the last straw (if General Hospital goes) I really think suicide is the only answer.

Over the last 10 years I have also lived on the internet trying to make friends as they would never see the horrible ugliness that I look like but unfortunately out of those 10 years using the internet there was only one person who stuck with me from the beginning back in 2001. Unfortunately she passed away last summer, I now have no one in this world.

My mom is too old trying to struggle for herself and worry about others. And since I can never live outside of 4 walls to be seen, giving my age, I think it is just time to give up on life. At 20, I was not that bad off, at 30 things did start to sink in but I still struggled. At 40 it really became bad when I lost my father but now at practically 50 years old, I am really done. It is really pathetic and no hope now. It is really bad when someone who is practically half a century old that has always been living with a parent, never having friends, still a virgin and there is much much more but I won't go too much into it, just that it is really bad and it has me in tears every day I wake up and every night I go to bed. Yeah I really wish I was never born. Big mistake.

How to be happy?
by: Anonymous

I've been there where life seems hopeless. All you want to do is scream and shout until my voice goes hoarse and I even get those thoughts of suicide, but there's one thing that saved me. One person to be exact. Jesus Christ. He saved me when he died on the cross and rose again. Now I'm not some hypocritical and judging Christian like the stereotype is. I am a person who loves Christ and has just put my faith in Him and accepted his offer to take on my sins and save my from the penalty of sin. God is always there for me, I am never alone and it feels great. JESUS ROCKS!

why
by: kaykay

I was teased for being fat and told nobody would ever love me and i would never amount to anything. I heard it so much i believed it.

As a young girl all i wanted was to get married, have kids and be the ultimate housewife-nothing against the "working girl" i just wanted an old fashioned kind of life. My brother beat me and called me names, locked me in closets on a daily basis. I would be an emotional wreck by the time i got to school only to be teased 'till i snapped and i would get in trouble all the time for swearing. I would arrive home in tears which would anger my parents who were happy to tell me they would give me something to cry about. My brother would punch me and call me a pig every time we passed each-other and if i had something he wanted he would beat me until i gave it up and when i complained to my parents they would say "not this sh*t again".

I believe i am fat and ugly and my feelings are sh*t. At twelve i ate two bottles of Tylenol but i guess i was so fat it didn't kill me, just ruined my kidneys. at sixteen i lost my virginity, got raped, got pregnant, had an abortion, and slit my wrists, and the physical pain tuned out the emotional pain (i guess that's why people are cutters) Anyway - didn't die. At nineteen i was raped at a campground party, got pregnant and the baby grew in my fallopian tubes and had to have surgery. My cat died, I drank Spray Nine in another suicide attempt - not dead yet. At twenty one i got raped AGAIN by a biker with a knife to my throat - as bad as i wanted to die, i didn't want to die that way - if you know what i mean (needless to say - no more drunken campout parties for me.

The guy i loved from high school told me he really liked liked me(first time i ever heard that from any guy) we had sex it was great. The next day i went to the beach and got second degree burns on the backs of my legs. i lay in bed for two weeks writhing in pain and i dared god to try and make me sadder(bad move) my love from high school was is an accident and died. sooo distraught now i drank even more than usual-stupidly i got a DUI, lost my job and was truly and completely f***d. I went the hospital and they put me on disability for post traumatic stress disorder and severe depression.

A few years later i found a boyfriend and things were looking up, then i found out he was cheating (my body is quite gross so i understand but still) i was so over with life i got drunk and lay on the highway, after a while of cars dodging me left and right i decided to get up and soon as i moved my right leg was ran over. Still not dead.

I'm almost 31 now and came on here because i feel another nervous breakdown coming on and was looking for answers. Sorry i have no words of advice. I just want to know what all of this is for. How much are we supposed to take. Some of it was my fault because i chose to over eat, over drink, and hung around shady peeps but come on, why do all of us have to feel so bad.

Suffocating feeling, isn't it!
by: Solace.

I am feeling just the same, right now.

It's an absolutely suffocating feeling. I come from a highly dysfunctional family, they still wade through the muck of the mess caused by their horrendous attitudes, and do nothing about it but bicker and fight and argue, lie and delude others as well as themselves.

I have no contact with them but they insist on trying to drag me back into things. I refuse, but they keep trying. I want nothing more to do with them in any way, shape or form.

I have my own family that I focus on and do intend to do a complete vanishing act this year at some point. Cut ALL ties. Can't wait!

knowing and cant help it
by: Anonymous

I'm 39 years old.. i live with my mom. The cards are stacked against me. While a young man i became a criminal...not a bad one just a dumb one that had no idea what his actions really meant to law enforcement... I watched a movie once where con men were passing bad checks... well in real life that stuff doesn't fly.. I ruined my life before i had a chance to start it.

Now at 39 with all the illegals taken the jobs "an honest man would take for an honest days pay" away i cant find anything... no work no money no anything.. on top of that i had a child... yes a screw up like me had a kid... i cant imagine what hell he's gonna go though with my genes inside him.. poor little guy .. I've been diagnosed with every thing from manic depression to by polar.. none of the drugs helped me... i still feel all alone.. I'm a lost soul that hasn't figured out my life was over along time ago... I fail at life... and am now ruining another.. I hate that about my self,,,

You're not alone
by: Anonymous

I totally hear ya. I'm 30, and I just moved back in with my folks, and I've been an irritable, emotional mess. It all started about seven years ago.

I decided back then that I can't stand most activities that people do socially - going to bars, watching sports, playing video games, etc. I also can't stand college though I did manage to squeeze out an associate's degree.

That being said, I decided i'd shoot for a music career. Within 18 months of making that decision, i'd joined a folk/americana band and ditched my coffee house job to teach music lessons. I wasn't rich, but life was good.

The ball kept rolling. We were getting plenty of press, I'd moved into the house where we recorded, and the tunes were GOOD. When you put your heart out there, though, you open yourself up for scrutiny; people were questioning my moving out of the city, they were questioning my vegan diet, which I'd adopted from the influence of my longtime band mates. I liked what I was doing, I just wasn't able to confidently tell nay sayers why, due to my wanting to agree with everything anyone says.

Tour came a couple years ago and I was happy as hell. I kept myself fed with an online writing/editing job I could do from anywhere. The job sucked, but I could eat, and I was enjoying my day to day experience with the music and traveling despite having reservations about whether I wanted to continue with the band before we left. After tour ended, instead of looking at my life and what had made me happy, I CHOSE to go back to my reservations, and I attempted to leave the band, only to come back a few hours later in a fit of crying and apologizing.

Two more attempts, and I did end up leaving, but not because I fundamentally wanted to; rather, it was because I had reservations based on outsiders' comments. People had been likening the living situation to that of a cult. That was never my personal opinion, but my tendency to want to agree with everything anyone says fucked it all up.

The biggest decision of my life was not a professional one, but an emotional one. As a result, my day to day experience changed from excitement, adventure and creativity to anger, irritability and self-loathing, and I don't know how to get out of it. Tried spirituality, hanging with old friends, but nothing has worked. I've lost interest in my art and pretty much everything else for that matter. The guys in the band are off having a rewarding touring career, and I've gone and thrown away the only professional quality thing I've ever done. Dark, depressing thoughts pervade my mind, and laughter and smiles are few and far between. It's so bad that people say, to my face, "I miss you, Pat." We all gotta do something with our lives, and I'll never know why touring, professional musician wasn't good enough for me. I had nothing holding me back but shit thinking - no marriage/kids, my job was mobile for christ's sake. So I hate my life right now, and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

JEHAN
by: Anonymous

Buy a $3 camera from Walmart and some cologne. Take a head to toe picture of you lots of them and look at what you are avoiding and neglecting. Start smelling how good you smell. Accept that you were given the responsibility to break the pattern of poverty and be and do better in your genealogy.

Strike out and make a difference. Slow and steady wins the race. There are free medical and dental clinics. Make a commitment to get your teeth fixed and to do all you can to improve yourself physically like working on a car.

KEEP saving if you have to work two jobs and continue to do all you can to love be a friend and be nice to you. So many in U.S. are living with parents and are in 40s 50s and 60s. Money comes and money goes but more money is always coming. People come people go but more people are always coming.

I hate my life
by: Anonymous

I was in the military for 4 years. and when Got home I felt like was on mars. I have ptsd and I am going to treatment but I still cant sleep. I still drink everyday and I am drunk right now crying alone. I killed people in war but feel like I will never be forgiven for it. I wish I could fall asleep without being dead drunk.

American Life
by: Anonymous

Try being 35 with nothing to live for.
My father was murdered when i was 25 and left me a home with some money. I existed in Arkansas with nothing much going on. I was in school in the little wannabe community college that was available working full time at a glove factor getting carpel tunnel.

I took the money and the house and tried my best to get an education but something always came up where i had to decide to choose between college and life emergencies. Of course I chose the emergencies over my future just like anyone with a heart would do.

I decided after a while to open my own business because that's what Americans do right? Wrong. I lost nearly all the money I had, so from there I went to a tech school to get my CDL so I could drive a truck and make enough money to make a sort of decent living. One month into it my home gets broken into and EVERYTHING stolen. Jeep, Harley Davidson, furniture, clothes, computer, tv, dishes, even the copper water pipes gets stolen by someone i know down the road.

I find where the dude has sold some of my stuff to a pawn shop and the cops get involved (they wouldn't do anything until some proof was found) but yet they still wont do anything to prosecute the guy. I didn't have insurance because i had to drop it after the failed business attempt because of the loss of money.

Now I live in the basement of my friends house down the road. It sucks. I give them rent money every month, but they want more, they live outside their means so they are always broke now they want more and more. Not only that they stopped doing any chores and expect me or my girlfriend to take out the trash or do their dishes all the time with their hand out asking for more money.
America is all about the haves and not the have nots... I have tried to make my life something good, I don't expect wealth and power.

Unfortunately i think soon i will be homeless living under a bridge hoping that my teeth don't kill me because i cant afford to get a tooth pulled without insurance. No one cares except me, but who am I????

I understand the feeling
by: Anonymous

I am 13 and super depressed, I feel much stress over trying to be a teen, and I feel like I have lost all of my hope, sure, I have friends, but... I feel like they all know something I don't, like they all hate me, just to prove it I can name 4 of people who I was friends with who totally dogged me.

I am so stressed about being pretty and clothes and stuff... And I look at myself and realize I'm a monster, Because I would literally give up anything to have what ever I want; if you asked me if I would give up all true emotions and my soul for what I want; I would say yes, because I have no use for either of them, besides no emotion is better than what I am feeling right now.

I feel like I have no talents, and I see no worth in anything any more. Every night I bluntly pray, " God, please just kill me, I don't want to live anymore, amen." but I know it's useless because if God is even real, he wouldn't answer that prayer.

Every day I put on a fake smile, crack some dumb jokes and make people laugh, listen to other people's stupid jokes and laugh at them, talk with people and pretend that i care, nobody would have ever guessed the hollowness I feel inside. I can't care about people anymore because when I do, they always betray me in the end.

But one strange thing I feel; is that, what ever I want, I will achieve in the end, and then and only then will I be happy.
_______________________________________________

Darling child, no one hates you but you. Your thoughts have confused you and you feel everyone is against you when its not true. Beauty is within you, its not about being pretty or wearing nice clothes, its about feeling happy and good about yourself. Loving yourself and accepting yourself for the way you are. Change those thoughts of you, tell yourself often that you are confident, your are worthwhile, say "I love myself" as often as you can, and you will come to believe it in time and your life will change when you gain confidence in yourself.
Love
Kay
xxx

Self Discovery
by: Alien Angel

Believe it or not you can find a new part of yourself that will completely turn you around. No drugs, no Doctor visits, just self discovery.
Whatever your background or religious beliefs anything is worth a try right?
Even if your sceptical give it a good try...
I recommend these books: Past Lives / Future Lives by Dr. Bruce Goldgerg.
Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss.
From these books you will discover so much wonderful things about your life, your existance and how you will find much joy out of knowing who you really are.

Helping Hand
by: You

I know these stories all too well. I'm young. Almost 20. I never had a girlfriend but I've had my heart broken. I've been, mocked, ridiculed, shunned, beaten, persecuted, blamed, so on and so forth. But you know what? It isn't that bad. If you don't care. Take advantage of it. Don't force yourself to care.

If you don't like your job. Find a new one. Experiment and see what life has to offer. Go on a journey, an adventure. Pack some things up and just hike East or West. Just be sure you're prepared for whatever awaits. If you've had your heart broken, don't worry. It always seems like the end of the world. Lord knows, I thought so. But eventually, eventually you move on. Will you forget them? No. Not at all. But the pain will have died. It's like a cut on your hand. It hurts while it's there, but it eventually heals. You'll still see the scar, but it won't hurt you a bit to touch it.

Awesome
by: Anonymous

This is an awesome website. It makes me feel like I'm not alone =).

Regards to sweetny
by: Anonymous

I too found this website just by typing in I hate my life on Google.

I was raised by a negligent mother, and a workaholic father, however I don't blame them, all my choices are my own. Ive been addicted to drugs and then left them behind. I have an IQ of 145 yet disappeared from my hometown when i was fourteen never even finishing ninth grade. I hid in the bushes and watched the punks hop trains Then when i knew enough i disappeared the same way.

I can't leave now, i have 2 boys. I used to think i could survive with all my masks until they grew up, divorce my my husband and disappear using the skills of my youth. But i learned my son has autism he will always need me. I love my children dearly and i will not fail them leaving them a legacy of suicide. but I'm so stuck, I'm so poor and I'm so damn tired. I just wish I was dead, last week a high school friend committed suicide. Is he free? Is he hungry? My mother tries it halfheartedly once every 2 years. I decided never to talk to her again, I'm tired of cleaning up her messes.

I've asked for help from everyone, they laugh they think it's a joke. I hate my life. I just hate it, I'm tired of being hungry. I'm tired of being dirty I never wanted kids. I just wish i was dead and not hungry any more. I hunger for love, life, the feel of excitement when I reclaim my son from Autism. I wish I was Dead too, All my friends died,only I survived being a junkie.

When people come to me for wisdom I tell them time and our natural aptitude for adaptability heals all wounds. Truth is it's all scar tissue and I am all alone and so damn hungry. My space bar is glubbed with coffee my kid spilt. Tara

PLEASE READ!!!
by: SAVED

Please everyone, before you think Grr just another crazy Christian, please keep reading I guarantee that God will change your life.

I was depressed, I hated my life and I wanted to die then one day I thought, hey; I feel like reading the bible... So I did. That one little choice changed my life, and it can change yours. God loves you SO MUCH he sent his only son to DIE for you!!! Listen to my words!! God wants you!! I PROMISE you will be happier!! The Lord is close to the brokenhearted!!

God changed my life. He will change yours. I have NO doubts, I fully trust that Our God will save you. He will take away all the tears from your eyes! All you need to do is PRAY!!! I pray that everyone who feels they wanna die will find the Lord, and I pray that all who read my words will just PRAY!! And I pray that you will find God as soon as you look to him! He loves you so much.
In Jesus MIGHTY name...
Amen

Please take my words to heart. I thought everyone who believed in God was nuts, I never even CONSIDERED that he might really exist. Man, I was blind! But now I see, and I pray that you will also.
God bless you all.

trying to find my solution
by: sally

HA, I have alcohol problems too. I have continuously thought about killing myself. I convince myself that it's not that i give up on life, i just don't want anything to do with it and that suicide doesn't make you weak, but the people who threaten it are the weenies and the people who have the balls to do it are some real hosses. But i still cant get myself to do it.

I grew up in an abusive home and have been through my 500 yrds of sh*t. I was with a man for 5 yrs who was not that great to me but i managed to be engaged to him for 3 yrs and get a house and our wonderful dog we got as a baby. i lost it all, thanks to his mean awkward family. Then he dumped me, then i spiraled. So many times i woke up not knowing where i was. I missed my dog and really thought about going back just so my life would be back in order. I have since gotten a new dog to help me out of this hole. something to come home to. Something to be happy to see me cause lord knows no one does. I am trying, without my own consent, to get my sh*t together as much as i think I'm actually scared to. But after i read an article about how to kill yourself, i realized that i have a future. I have always believed things happen for a reason. I think I'm going to roll with the punches for a while and like rocky balboa says "its not about how hard you can hit. its about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward"....lame, but it gives me hope. and as far as alcohol goes, my new goal is to drink it as celebration, everyday, and not wallow in it. I take my new dog to bars and other places so i never feel like I'm drinking alone. Sorry for not capitalizing my i's and lack of punctuation. I'm in a hurry.

I have no freedom
by: Anonymous

I am 18 years old guy. I still live with my parents. My mother is very strong, and I feel like she has complete control over me. I know she means well, but... I just finished my first university semester with bad marks. I totally understand that am wrong, and I am planning to boost my GPA next semester, but my parents wont stop screaming at me. They tell me I am unless, stupid idiot, lazy and mean.

When I turned 18, a month ago, I went to a nightclub for the first time, and came home later, a little bit drunk. My parents screamed at me all night, and when I said that I want to move out one day, my mother said I should get out right now, at 2 am. Then my father said that I am worthless and complete zero. I was so angry I slammed my fist on the table, after which my father threw me on the bed, and my mother slapped me three times.

I used to be A student in highs school, but its just a rough patch that I have in university. After that night I feel broken. I have no job, because all the time I spend studying, and my parents support me completely. That gives them all of the control.

I feel like giving up. I don't even feel like arguing any more. I have never felt so useless. Also my mom wont let me do anything, go camping with friends, get any part time job which does not reflect my degree( like any fast food place). I cant stay overnight at my friends house. I cant drink, at all. They said that while I live under their roof it's their rules. I feel like I am trapped in a circle, I cant leave the house because I don't have enough money, but I cant stay because I feel so down, some times I even feel like killing my self or running away. I have no freedom.

What should I do?

_______________________________________________

Study as hard as you can, pass your exams and get a fantastic job that allows you to move out of home and support yourself. If you stay positive and determined you can do this.
Love
Kay
x

We are all feeling it.....
by: Lola rose

Hi, I am female and about to turn 31 next month and I too feel just the way you do! And as I read all the comments, it makes me realize, just how many people feel like we all do from all backgrounds and ages!

I am seen as very pretty, outgoing and sociable, but I have nothing. Everyday I go to sleep crying and wake up at 5 am with a fear feeling in my chest. People see shocked I'm single!!! You're stunning they say and whilst I have got good looks, it doesn't make it easier.

I have never had a long term boyfriend and fall in love with men you don't want relationships with me (one went on for 5 years) all my friends are in relationships, in fact I'm the only single person I know. I fear at 31, I'll never meet a guy and settle with them! no one wants me!

I'm also inconsistent when it comes to career and have no clue what I want to do! I dropped out of school at 15 with no qualifications and eventually at 22 after bumming on the dole for years, went back to college and then on to university where I did a degree in dance as well... Which afterwards I realized was useless (If I could go back I would have chosen law, or medicine, something useful) anyway I become a receptionist, traveled a bit and then decided I wanted to get into PR, (thought about it at uni a bit) only my life being a total f up I didn't end up In a normal PR firm, but a niche one which after 3 years gave me no experience!

I then decided to be a high school teacher at age of 29 and moved miles away to another city! But again being a f up I had problems in second placement and ended up dropping out month before end! Then aged 30 moved in to house share and tried to go back into real PR, only couldn't get job in it! Only a week here and there...

I now finally have a job, but in estate agents- Sucky... But money is great! Do I want to do it, no, but I can make money from it and it's a job.... What I want deep down Is to just meet nice guy and be housewife!

I figure though that I and all of us must remember the golden rule.... Everything changes!!!!! Maybe I'll love the job, maybe I'll go back and finishing teaching (looking into it for next year) maybe I'll meet man of my dreams tomorrow and be married next year.... with a kid on the way... You just never know in life.

It is hard and I am struggling right now, being 31 soon and the only single person I know, in a job I don't care for and fearing I'll be single forever in a sucky job!

But who knows hey!

Being successful isn't everything
by: Anonymous

I'm 22 and am about to graduate with an in demand degree in a well paying field. I have a job secured, am engaged to be married in 6 months, and am very close with my family.

Despite all of this, I still find myself looking forward to the embrace of death. I am simply not happy and can't figure out why. I feel like I hate my job but then I hate the thought of all other careers as well. I have always excelled at work yet somehow when the idea of a lifelong career comes up I begin to feel claustrophobic. I feel like I'm going to get stuck in the same routine and just be waiting for nothing.

Maybe having kids will help someday, one of my favorite things in life is seeing my 1 year old nephew.

I guess what I'm saying is; some people think the key to happiness is a stable career, and I don't think that is necessarily true. I think happiness comes from somewhere within you, and if I can find this place I will let you know.

I don´t see any point with anything,
by: Sturenorth

I´m in a rage. It feels like I am standing in a room full of people SCREAMING my lungs off and no one hears me.

``You need to get a positive attitude, get a life, a girl, a car, a home, go travel``

I don´t understand why I haven´t killed my self yet.
It might just be the primal instinct keeping me from doing that but I am not certain.

I have a best friend and I love him, though I can´t say that I feel like I am in a mood to care about anything or anyone.

Everything feels wrong, something keeps being wrong or gone.

I am a person, I can say things and see the reaction in individuals faces, I hear them I can feel them, still I am simply not there.

However pathetic it may be I find solitude in watching tv shows and films featuring serial killers who put on their masks to avoid people from seeing just how empty they really are.

I can relate to the actors characters and I feel less than nothing for a few brief moments.

I had a dark spot a few years ago which involved by coming to a crossing vital to my life.

I chose the red pill, I broke free from my prison which I had made for myself and started to work through my sh*t I had been through.

I felt contempt for the first time in 10 years and I had a direction. Now years later I am back in that same pit with feeling nothing. Nothing seems to have any meaning of doing.

My drivers licence is not far from though I hinder myself as usual.

Why, can´t I do as everyone else and just find my way and be happy with that...

No I have to be stuck in this life sucking abyss.

My story aint any different from anyone else I am just a common person with a common life wishing it would end all together or getting change for something different.

22 age girl
by: sahel

انگلیسی من ضعیف هست
ترجیح میدم فارسی بنویسم
هر چند می دونم کارم بی فایده هست

من 22 سالمه I`m 22
پول دارم I have money
دوست پسر عاشق دارم I have nice boy friend
خانواده خوب دارم I have good family
رشته تحصیلی خوب دارم I have best university
اما but
امید ندارم I`m hopeless
آرزو ندارم I have no ambition
علاقه ای به چیزی ندارم I dont like any thing
هدف ندارم I dont have target
آینده رویایی ندارم I dont have ideal future
علاقه به زندگی ندارم I dont like life
علاقه به درس خواندن ندارم I dont like study
کلا بدبختم In generally,I`m miserable

CAN YOU HELP ME ??????

please use simple words , my English is awful

wow
by: Anonymous

To the person who insisted that they "grow up"- maybe it's time to follow your advice. you need to look at things from a psychological standpoint. If you lived in a home where you were degraded or had some issues with yourself you've never resolved they'd continue to wear you down you'd feel hopeless and crushed. Some people haven't gotten the proper help they need. Sometimes talking things out - even to strangers - makes all the difference.

You'll never walk alone
by: Sweeney

Believe it or not, I only found this while typing i hate my life into google out of pure frustration. I have the same predisposition towards alcohol that you have. I also had an unhappy and even abusive childhood.

Although i am only 24 and you may consider me to still be immature, I am not. I have dealt with more than most people do in their entire lives, as im sure you have. And even now the darkness occasionally takes over.

I have a degree in chemistry and have had a good job for two years in the industry. But i can still see myself sabotaging myself through drink and drugs.

Also if one more person tells me that god can help I'll show them all times he didn't.

Bugger it time to keep trying, stiff upper lip and all that!

depressed
by: Anonymous

I am a 20 year old guy that lives with my parents and I am depressed.
It all started when I was 16 and before that felt like I was happy with friends and girls who liked to talk to me.
So at grade 11 something happened to me that has never happened to me before. I fell in love with a girl and I have never felt that way before. We had a class with each other in the morning and every time I saw her my stomach dropped and just felt high like it was crazy because right now I would pay to get the same feeling but no one makes me feel the same, so I talked to her and walked with her even though she hardly showed up to class she was a smoker and so we started smoking with each other and I was too shy to ask her anything so we just talked and I fell more in love with her but the thing that killed me was finding out she messed around with my brother who was 2 years older than me and he knew because I remember telling him but anyways after that I was destroyed.

I started acting out didn't care about anything. I started smoking hard and didn't stop and so that was the start of it through out high school. I still liked some girls but I never felt the same way and I never asked anyone out meaning I felt like a loser.

Even though I like being alone I hang out with the smoke people in my high school getting suspended for bringing pipes was messed up.
I am a virgin also which makes me feel like sh*t and some people say oh its good but I don't feel that way because I just need some one to hug and hold me except for my mother. Even though I appreciate my family and all the things my parents have done I just can't help but be shallow with them like every thing they say I just say ok and yea so we don't argue because I don't like noisy people.

Recently I quit my job and I though I would feel good but instead I feel bad and I am lonely and I understand when some one says well you have your family and I truly love each and every one of them but I always feel like I need affection from some one out side of my family if that makes any sense.

All my friends wanna take advantage of me and I feel like I can't trust any of them and its the truth.

I live in a house where there is fights now and then with mostly my sister and my mom but we are middle class and have no fanatical issues. Please respond and say what you think of me.

______________________________________________

I think you have experienced what most young people have. What you focus on becomes your reality. When you keep thinking you are not happy, that you are depressed you make yourself this way. Have a serious thought about what it is that you want to do with your life and then focus on these thoughts with determination to make them come true. Find a job, join a club where you have the opportunity to meet females. Life is about choices, your choices!
Love
Kay
x

I know the feeling
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you all feel :( life brings me down with people who bring out the flaws in me and make me feel... Unappreciated and disliked... I love my family and they do support me.I love my little sister.but I hate school... I have no true friends and I don't want to be friends with some backstabbing mean people. I wish there was some way of having everything right in life... Oh well...

Rollarcoaster full of crap
by: Lindsay

I'm 12 years old I'm pretty unhappy I just am always wondering us this ever gonna get any better I was abused and practically molested by my father and also with my brother also getting abused as well as my mom who was almost killed a couple times we finally got away a year and a half ago spent that whole summer investigating with Dcf ( department of children an families) and contacted and told this over and over again to many police and they stopped visitation and accepted the request for restraining orders for my mom but not me well we moved about 45 miles away from him because we were still hesitant even though there were restraining orders it's not like a piece of paper won't hold back a crazy person. My brothers my mom and I were required therapy for a year and moving away from my father and those bad situations he caused you would think I'd be happy no I'm sad and depressed still with life itself and thought about suicide oh so many times but am to scared about the pain I would leave for my mother and brothers. And I don't want to be known as the 12 year old coward of a girl who gave up I'm hoping it gets better.

I also hate the system they have here in my state called the fact leaves you horrified about passing your grades and leaves so much pressure on me and probably many other students as well

I just wanna give up I hate this but I'm very glad to see I'm not the only one I know there are a lot of situations harder than mine but what are we gonna do life is a roller coaster full of crap you just got to ignore the crap and keep riding I don't know If that little catchphrase made sense but it was worth a shot well good luck to all of you

I hear 'ya.
by: Anonymous

Reading your story basically describes my life. Bad relationship choices, feeling trapped in my body and my horrible life. I am infertile, my boyfriend of four years won't marry me, I have no money. What the hell are any of us spirits doing here anyway? It seems fruitless. Does anyone ever get the feeling we are in some kind of bullsh*t matrix reality that is trapping us?

your mind
by: Henry B.Clemons,Jr.

Think, why does one hate him or her self. Think if you can, if not see a doctor, get well then ask your higher power, by reading and hearing the words of the holy bible. Peace. Amen. Now Pray.

A bit of help
by: Melisa or "lizzie"

Oh,wow you people are so deep its good that you are on one of these sites! The reason why you are depressed is probably because you are stressed and please don't commit suicide what good comes out of that?!?

Listen to me, i did have depression when i was 14 i wanted to die but i thought maybe just maybe something good might happen (or come out of this)and yes something good did happen, even though i was single and i had hardly any true friends, i still had god and i know that some people don't believe in him and that is up to you but just knowing that i had someone who cared helped me and i tried all of the things booze, drugs, smoking, sex... none of it worked you name it i tried it it was all a waist of time! Then i got a degree in medicines i HATED IT! Then i found "love" and 7 years later i am married to him he pulled me through all the hard times i started teaching a Zumba class and i have kids now, I am 22, married, and exited about the rest of my life.
I'm no-longer a christian because i don't need god i have Josh (a.k.a my husband and father of my kids) my life has turned around and i am a Zumba teacher in California! I love my life.
Life will get better... Trust me... x

Things could be a lot worse but still I would much rather not wake up in the morning!
by: Anonymous

I'm 19, and unlike some of the people who have commented on this page I do not have it that bad. I have a girlfriend and a family who love me but instead I only feel disillusioned by the world and its ugliness.

I wake up most mornings wishing I would of died in my sleep. Suicide seems like a good alternative doesn't it? The problem with this solution is I'm far too scared of the pain I could potentially experience. Also I would most likely only f**k it up and be left with half a face and be more miserable as I would have to deal with the trials and tribulations of suffering from some form of chronic pain.

Learning that my mother and sister were both molested by my grandfather has distorted my view of the world, I feel that it has instilled me with a murderous hatred and anger. All the things that disgust me about the world are characteristics I most likely possess one way or another.

I do not expect your sympathy or pity, although it does feel good to let it off my chest. Wouldn't it be great if we could all co-exist and be deliriously happy, it is unlikely, but wouldn't it be lovely

caio

Something to think about for Americans
by: Mike

I am a guy who likes to get to the root of the problem. My depression has got the better of me most of my life and I decided to try to dig up some answers. So I studied myself and society as a whole.

What I have realized is there is an overwhelming trend to think that life is about happiness and how to make yourself happy. Unfortunately it is not true. It is a self centered idea. People have to remember that we were created and not the Creator. Therefore life does not revolve around the created (humans) and God the Creator is not here to make us happy. My earthly father didn't give me everything I wanted nor did he make my life easy. Why? Because he loved me and wanted to prepare me for the future. God the Father is not going to give everyone what they want nor give them an easy life. Why? Because He loves you and is preparing you for the future. No religion. Just a relationship. God is as much sitting next to you as He is in a church. Jesus is His Son and will fill the empty void that humans have. No guarantee of an easy life just a cure for loneliness in a confusing world.

If you don't believe and you have challenged everything else to cure your issues ask God to reveal Himself in your life and He will.

i'm not suffering alone
by: Anonymous

Hey I'm 15 years old, my friends in school hate me and always call me names. I tried to change myself, I talked with them but they continued. I think that my life is useless. I'm from Egypt..
I'm looking for new friends and I think that we are a lot of people that suffer from the same problem "LOVE"

I think that if we gather and think positively we could know each other and create a big group of friends that kill anybody who harasses any member of us...

where do i go?
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm a 35 year old male. I have some serious issues when I was 17 I shot a man. When I was 24 I attempted suicide by cop. At 33 I married a fantastic woman and3 weeks ago I threw every positive step I've taken in the toilet by cheating on my wife. Where do I go from here?
My brother recently committed suicide and I seen it devastate my whole family and know that is something I cannot do besides I Have an awesome daughter who needs me, but I can't shake this feeling of despair over the fact that I did someone I truly love so much so bad. What makes it worse is that she is willing to give me another chance the conditions are just that she refuses to live with me until things get better because not only did I cheat but I was pretty ugly during these times as well.

I have a bad temper problem and although I have never punched her or slapped her I have thrown things I have broke things and I have scared her, so don't need anyone to tell me that she deserves to have time. Hell what I deserve is to be told to go f**k myself. So why am I so depressed? Where do I go from here? Is there anyone who has been through this and seen success come out of this? Anyone still with someone like me that is happy? We once had it all, happiness, a great supporting cast and most of all love. Can someone tell me how to make her know she's loved again.

We suffer together
by: Anonymous

I too hate my life. I'm 27, I've never been in a serious relationship for more than 2 weeks, I have a worthless degree, tens of thousands of dollars in debt. My relationship with my family is at-best strained, and at-worst ruined. I feel no meaningful connection with anybody in the world. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but I still feel so lonely. I think I'm depressed - I live an inverted life, staying up till 6 am, even when I have work at 8 am. On weekends, all I do is sleep. I hate it, I don't want that. yet the alternative - facing this cruel world - is something I also don't want.

Contrary to the image I may be painting, I'm not a socially despondent person. I wouldn't doubt most people who see me and interact with me day-to-day would be shocked to read this. I'm pretty good as masking my self-loathing. I know people describe me as "happy" and "funny" but it's all an act. No one knows the real me - because the real me is miserable. I don't even like the real me.

I turned to drugs about 5 years ago and haven't been able to rid myself of them. It's a huge secret. No one knows about my drug addiction - absolutely no one. I stay up all night smoking, dropping, railing - whichever drug I'm currently on. I wish I would have never started, I hate it so much. I don't ever see myself stopping.

I have intense anger issues. The only creature on this planet who probably accepts me for who I am - my puppy - is often the target of intense fits of rage which I can't control. I'll be sailing smoothly, and then he'll mess up. Just about 2 hours ago he had an accident on the carpet, and I flew into a rage and hit him several times. I hate myself for doing that now that I've calmed down. I don't deserve my dog. When I get angry, I lose all control of myself and, even though I know I'm making everything worse, I can't help it.

I just wish I was happy like everybody else.

Somewhere to share feelings :-)
by: Empathia

I think this is a great place for so many people pouring out their hearts to share their feelings and experiences. Hopefully, by sharing, you can find solace and peace knowing that you are not alone, it makes life hardship less harsh.

I wish those smart ***** would just shut up and listen, please don't lecture why people going through tough times should pretend to be happy when they are not; or to feel guilty for feeling bad. Let people share their feelings. You are not superior. If you are happy, good on you. Go somewhere else.

Hope life gets better for the rest of you :-)

I get it.
by: Anonymous

Long story short: Useless degree, huge debt, failed relationship after failed relationship, broke, living with grandparent, no friends returning to school for nursing (something I am not interested in), more debt to follow.

Yes, hard to be hopeful. I just keep thinking there is a reason we are being tested and that we haven't yet given up. Something deep inside us isn't dead yet.

Life Sucks
by: Anonymous

I'm 14 teen and my life really sucks. Everyone says things like I hate my boyfriend and I'm dumb come on grow a pair think about your problems eg. if your fat lose weight and stop eating so much it's not rocket science. If you hate your boyfriend DON'T DATE HIM ANYMORE. come on people get real problems. My life really suck my parents are divorced and they go on and on about me been unhappy with them and their house and other dumb things like that.

Nobody Cares
by: Anonymous

I hate my life right now! Nothing makes sense. I have a difficult time trying to understand how people around me are so lame! I can't stand it! I have an excellent career, supportive family. At work I use my "Professional Mask" but I hate all my coworkers. They are stupid and they don't understand me. Everything I say is stupid to them. I wish I could tell them to go f**k themselves. I love what I do and work so hard to improve my work ethics so I am better in my job but I am never good enough!!!

I am depressed and addicted to pain medications. I have seen a therapist but she just hears me out and gives me XANAX.....

I hate being so nice. I wish people didn't interpret that as being weak. I AM NOT WEAK!

pudding
by: Anonymous

You guys are all pathetic. get a dog. or a cat. or a hamster. start jogging maybe. things change, all the time. God exists too there are people out there battling starvation and looking after their AIDS ridden babies, whereas you're excuse is oppression from the system..? grow up

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and people like me.
by: Anonymous

I'm female and 51. I left home at 15 and never looked back. I have been very poor and very well off. I've been unloved and abused and loved. What I've learned is none of these things determine a persons level of happiness. I believe some people just have a harder time being happy than others. If this is you then admit it and know you're going to have to work at it. Put your time and energy into it.
For me, and many people I know who like me, struggle with being happy, 3 things work most of the time.
1.) Plan your day, write down your plan and do your best to stick with it. (If you have NO money and no job then you walk or take up running, go to the library and study something, clean and organize yourself and your belongings and where you live) Also, try to set long term goals, start with a week and go from there. You need to establish a routine.
2.) Do something for others. (This needs to be worked in on your daily 'to do' list.) When you put yourself in the position of helping others (animal shelter, reading to kids, holding babies at the hospital, working at a soup kitchen,helping build homes, joining a church and becoming involved,even making a point to look people in the eye and smile...anything!)it feels good because you've improved someone else's life without asking anything from them and visa versa.
3.) Keep a laser focus. Don't let your mind veer off to the negative thoughts and the 'what if's' stay in the moment and deal with the task at hand (ie., what is on your list.) Come up with a mantra to replace the negatives thoughts...you don't necessarily have to believe it but subconsciously your mind will absorb it over time...something as simple as "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and people like." or "I rock."
If you read this and think it's stupid, even more of a reason to do it. Sometimes you'll just have to force yourself out of the clutches of despair.
Good luck and don't give up. Take it one day at a time. Like exercise, it may take awhile to get results but you keep at it because you know it is good for you.

Trade you
by: Dan SATX

You are strikingly beautiful- it's in your eyes. They pierce with the fire of 10,000 suns- but the pain comes through, too. Life is just atomic particles and energy- nothing mystical. Just enjoy the ride as an amalgamation of that cosmic montage we call our body and the electrons that make our jelly-like brains. It's weird- stay weird- stop drinking- but enjoy the sex. It's good for you just avoid the pain of easilly avoidable disease. Ride the orgasms. Share them. Be selfish- because no one really cares if you are in the end. Breath deeply and never rush sitting on the toilet- it's one place no one can really bother you too much. I wanted to die tonight and leave my wife. She drinks so much she turns into a terrible tease and is humiliating to me. I feel worthless. I am Ritchie Cunningham- I am loved and adored but with a few glasses of wine I'm sh*t on in a heartbeat. I wish she would love me enough to go beyond the paycheck and always reliable, always faithful and see me as person who would like to feel that someone lusted after me- just once. Oh well. I'm always that 'best friend' guy or dad figure. Everyone seems to think that I have some endless energy source to be the good guy and I don't have any needs/feelings. But I'm cutting my own throat because now people on the board- even you- think- ewww some creepy guy. You want to die? You feel like crap? I'll trade you. I'd love to dance.

Hmmm
by: Anonymous

I didn't read all of the comments, there are a lot. I am 33, degree in history, pizza del driver. Married, 2 perty kids. I stumbled across this post my typing in "how to transform my life and get a job with my college degree?"...
For the last 6 months i have thought about death and what happens afterwards. We all truly know what the answer is, but we avoid it as long as possible--and that's a smart thing to do.
I guess what I am saying is remember that this is it. This, what u have right now, is all you will ever have. There will never be another you, never your thoughts again.
When we die that is it. When you close your eyes not another thought will pass through your brain.
This may seem like what you are looking for, now.
The math: 60-90years.....eternity.....
Please accept this beautiful time granted to you.

Some time ago, i became depressed deeply, and i remember telling people that i knew i would never be the same, that i was depressed now, i was one of those persons on the commercials....it was very sad, lasted about 2 weeks, and went away...Now for my real advice....

There has to be something you love, there has to be.

For me it was writing. i procrastinate, i bs. but writing is what drew me out of that funk. I opened my eyes and became young again, i used my imagination and created a world. a world with characters that needed me , and looked up to me.

Try it beautiful things. Please enjoy this limited time. We love you.

i dont know
by: 19 year old

For some reason I try to look for happiness and fun everywhere I go and I never find it. The doctors say I have add and adhd and all of that bullsh*t.

Ive taken medicine and tried different methods but nothing really works. I'm never satisfied with anything. The only time I felt happy was with a girlfriend. I hate the fact that the only way to get happiness in my life is if I find a significant other. Me and my friends all we do is mostly smoke (weed) and sometimes drink or do other drugs. I get myself hyped up for these moments thinking there gonna equal to be fun but in the end of it I always still end the night feeling sad and unsatisfied.

I wish I could find happiness in myself without the help of drugs or others. And I know people would just say well go out there experience the world. I try. I love socializing with people, it's just like I feel everything is the same and I need something different. It just sucks because I have a 2 time torn acl so all of the de-stressers in my life (athletic activity mostly sports) are all just 100% out of my life forever. I don't want help I just want a change. I came on this website to vent out the current outlook I have on my life and honestly just venting to random people who I will never see feels pretty good..

I Hate My Life
by: A 14 Year Old Kid

I hate my life. I really do. Although nobody knows it I'm really depressed. Although if you knew me you would probably laugh at the idea, but I've thought about suicide numerous times. I honestly can't remember the last time I was happy with how my life is progressing.

Right now, as I type this my parents are fighting. They have fought as long as I can remember and I have grown to ignore the constant screaming and yelling but recently it has been bad. My mom has always struggled with her job and recently her hours were cut short because the company she worked for ran out of money. Since the fights have turned horrible. My mom screaming at my dad about how she thinks she is a failure and that it is his fault. My dad pleading with my mom trying to reason with her. Everyone has a point where they lose their sanity though. Everybody. Even you and me.

Broken
by: Anonymous

I'm broken, a drug addict by the age of 14 clean by age 16, pregnant by 17, a single mother by 19, now lonely, alone and completely and utterly sick and tired, in fact the sooner I leave this shite planet the better it'd be a blessed relief if only I had the courage to do it.

I'm a chronic depressive and spend my life trying various anti depressants to no avail, I sleep poorly and have little or no contact with any friends. I don't like myself I carry self loathing with me constantly, I have lied and cheated my way through the past and my daughter deserves a better mother. Doesn't matter what I do I'm angry, frustrated, easily riled and tetchy 24/7. Fighting a court battle with a man who abandoned his own daughter for over two years, paying for the privilege.

I have no home, a degree to complete with no motivation to complete it with. If could go missing I would... it's either that or end it at the moment. I've had enough I'm broken and alone.

Keep moving forward!
by: Anonymous

I want you to know that I was 31 when I officially moved out. I made mistakes by switching college majors many times. I finally became an elementary school teacher and finished my degree in education. I had many failed relationships and got married this last year at the age of 37. I just had a baby ( our little honeymoon baby(: ). I was hospitalized twice in my life for clinical depression. What I am trying to share is that it gets better. It does. I really recommend you stay on that path to nursing because not only is it easier to deal with depression when you are helping others, you may have patients who remind you of yourself, going through recovery or being treated for depression. It is odd to say, but I believe some of us get called into something because of the trials we have endured- angels a little rough around their wings. Experiences that others will never relate to make us strong enough to reach those who feel unreachable. Bless you as you move forward!

Wow...we have lived the same life.
by: Lost but hopefull

I have been through exactly what you have been through and feel the same lost, misunderstood, and depressed. There are little flashes of hope once in a while but they don't last long.

I do have a wonderful family that supports me. They are 2000 miles away. I am sorry that you hate your life but just know there are other women your age that feel the way you do. If you believe in your self you can do anything but you have to find a way to love yourself.

I PAN HATE MY LIFE
by: SANJAY GURAV

I've read a lot of the comments and I thought I'd add some fresh perspective. First of all, everything looks bad if you CHOOSE to see it that way. I've noticed that a lot of you think your life is horrible because you're not dancing on some island in the Caribbean. Obviously, most of the world doesn't live that way, and yet people are happy? Yeah, they are, and they're that way because they choose to see the good things in their lives or at least the amazing things (you live on a rock that is hurtling through space damn it!!).

I don't mean to minimize pain or suffering but honestly, there isn't a person alive who hasn't dealt with pain, yet somehow, despite it all, we live. Its the "how" that matters. You can be positive and start making choices with a GOOD attitude or you can continue on the self pitying route that you're on. Either way its a choice, one that YOU made and are responsible for.

I wish for peace
by:

I hate my life because my friends are all fighting & the school I go to is a pure hell on earth!(pardon my french)My ex boyfriend is dating another girl because he's 15 & I'm 13.

My mom says that my own dad didn't even want anything to do with my life for the first 8 years of it along with both sets of my grandparents & most of the other members of my family. But I don't know if my mom is lying to me or not. I have aspburgers syndrome & I am also being bullied because of it. I also have a sister who probably despises me & a step mom who doesn't get along with me. Now the only thing stopping me from committing suicide is that I can't find an absolutely painless & fatal way to die. Just to think I'm pretty optimistic.

Broken Father
by: Dany

I sat with my friend the other day whom I haven’t seen in a while. I had nothing to say to him. Nothing has happened in my life I find to talk about. Lamo is how I see myself. I have been happy and wish I could find my way back there. Work sucks… The harder I try to impress and show how good I could be at work the worst it looks against me. Doesn’t make any sense…. I’m desparate to find the love of my life and have dated several women. Every one of them any man would want. I just can’t seem to see what everyone else sees in them. So I chase them away.

Father only deals with me because my younger siblings like me. Mother is fading away slowly and there is nothing I can do.
I was once a US Marine! A total bad ass and felt like superman! The world was mine to conquer … Now I feel like a villain.

No one wants me around because I am a downer and can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I keep making mistakes left and right financially. I make good money… money anyone would wish to make. But it doesn’t show because of how much money I owe from my poor decisions. I’m going to get fired. I can see it coming and can’t seem to stop it. Every turn I take takes me down the wrong path. And the light at the end of the tunnel has gotten so far out there that I can’t see it anymore. I want to run away and hide in a hole but I have children. I have responsibilities that keep me grounded. I put on a fake impression for them. They think I am happy. If they only knew the truth it would screw them up. I’m a piece of sh*t… a disappointment to all. A burden no one wants and a failure at everything I have tried to do.
It’s morning here now and I have to start this sh*tty day in this sh*tty life for someone else. This sucks…

I hate my life too
by: Anonymous

Because I have a daughter who is in this funk. She starts things and never finishes. Always picks loser boyfriends that always end disastrous. I try to support her. I can never win. I say nothing. she never accomplishes a goal. If I say something... like... what is your goal today... I am riding her. I am tired. She is 23... just moved back into my house after she willingly left against my advice ... to make it on her own, and failed miserably. Her boyfriend that I said could not live here is now living here too. He just shows up every day and she bullies me into letting him stay. Always an excuse. I want her to move out because I am tired of seeing this train wreck every day, but I know if I ask her to leave I will probably lose her forever. I am sooooo tired. I HATE my life.

I feel the same way..... I'm 12 years old!
by: Anonymous

I feel the SAME WAY, and I'm 12 years old. I have "Learning Difficulty" with Math. My Mom's Husband (I hate him SO MUCH right now that I don't even want to call him Dad!) He says my future is hopeless and I believe it. Laying here, I feel like I deserve to die because I feel as if I have nothing to live for. I get special help from a teacher which annoys me because that teacher is SO annoying. I have Anxiety and OCD, too. So I see a Counselor. The Counselor has helped, but I feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life.
_________________________________________________

What you focus on becomes true and so you should not believe that you're hopeless because you will become this way. Believe you are strong and confident, and whenever someone tells you something negative about yourself, refuse to accept it into your mind and say the opposite to yourself, so make it a positive thing about how you are. In time if you keep saying positive stuff about yourself you will become positive. The one thing you have that is yours are the choices you make throughout your life. NO ONE can make them for you, only you. Choose to be confident and strong! Love yourself!
Love
Kay
x

Uh. Its a choice.
by: Anonymous

I've read a lot of the comments and I thought I'd add some fresh perspective. First of all, everything looks bad if you CHOOSE to see it that way. I've noticed that a lot of you think your life is horrible because you're not dancing on some island in the Caribbean. Obviously, most of the world doesn't live that way, and yet people are happy? Yeah, they are, and they're that way because they choose to see the good things in their lives or at least the amazing things (you live on a rock that is hurtling through space damn it!!).

I don't mean to minimize pain or suffering but honestly, there isn't a person alive who hasn't dealt with pain, yet somehow, despite it all, we live. Its the "how" that matters. You can be positive and start making choices with a GOOD attitude or you can continue on the self pitying route that you're on. Either way its a choice, one that YOU made and are responsible for.

I want some pie
by: janet arnold

We mean this helpfully but you might try thinking about someone other than yourself. You mention that you were looking for someone to save you perhaps you could try helping someone else. I want some pie.

I hate my life too
by: Anonymous

I hate my life too. I hate it because I'm in my mid twenties and still live with my parents. Speaking of my parents I think I hate my dad too. I feel hopeless because I've been doing the same thing for about 8 years. I see no change. I don't have a very high self esteem and I always have negative thoughts.

I dream of someday finding a girlfriend whom I can love and change my life. I dream of someday going to college and earning a degree. I dream of moving away from my parents house and becoming independent. My dream is to become a self reliable human being.

Life Sucks if you ignore social norms.
by: Anonymous

You are not alone. I am approaching 30 years old and I am quite ashamed of my life. Growing up as a child and all through grade school, college, graduate school and still now I do not seem to fit in with anything or anyone. I refuse to conform into societies standards as having “fun”. This alone puts a damper on my life! Just because I don’t physically and emotionally abuse women and excessively drink I am crucified socially and deemed as “weird”. F*ck this world.

seritonin and dopamine
by: -gary

when these levels go down, "seritonin and dopamine" my brain goes into meltdown mode. when I'm up and feel ok, I can laugh about it. It's not like I forget how I felt when I was down. I feel it's not healthy to obsess about feeling down also all the time. I guess when I laugh to much I may over do it sometimes.

I'm in a relationship, have 2 boys and would like to get married with the mother of our children soon. Would you have any good advice when your town is playing a muck on you and all you hear are echos every where you go, let alone trying to speculate on what intuitive instincts to go with while trying to remain kinda sane? Just to be safe, how do I go about this?

feel the same way
by: Anonymous

I'm turning 30 next month and looking back through the years i live, i wonder why im still unsuccessful in love and career. Ever since i studied, i try to work part time, not that i lack financial support but i just really want to work. I love to work. but how come up to now, i keep on switching lines of job and currently I'm jobless? me too, i finished a bachelor's degree and in fact I'm good at academics but just the same as you, i simply lose interest in pursuing what i finished so right after I graduated, I keep on switching different types of job.

Regarding my love life, i had happy moments too with my EX's. I don't know but at this age im loveless and don't have my own family. I want to know what's wrong with me? At times i wake up in the morning crying like my life is pointless and empty.

heyyy
by: THERE ARE MANY OF US

I am totally there. Just married and instead of being happy, I feel as though my entire life was ending. I am in grad school and that is well, but I feel like I cannot now be myself with my husband. I feel trapped. I feel like I am suffocating. We live at my parents house because they always beg us for money and we cannot afford to live in an apt and help them as well. So we are ALLLLL in one house !

My parents are freaking dysfunctional and they are making this marriage of mine worse! I would love to vacate to a Spanish island and have drinks and Latin dance alllll night on a big ass boat! is that too much to ask ??? ;0

tah tah for now...

Life can really suck, or be great.
by: fireheart

These are such challenging times. Not only do we have our own personal Karma to deal with. We have to deal with a country(USA) that is dealing with 50 years of bad decisions and bad karma. I feel like this whole country is stuck in this rotten position so many of you describe yourselves being in. Like we are all in a funk.

I had a pretty good childhood for the most part. The thing that has screwed up my life is my own lack of courage. I've faced down violent criminals and home invaders but can't seem to find the full courage to follow my dream of becoming an energy healer. I work as a truck driver currently and while that is good honest work, I hate it because it is the result of me following my fear and the fears my parents passed on to me. I always wanted to be in the metaphysical field but have always been too scared to do so, Sometimes the fear of changing our lives is harder and takes more courage to overcome than the fear of charging a battle field. I hope to find my courage and am trying to force myself to find it. I know it's there. It's just buried under the fears of not making it or not surviving.

I believe the field of energy healing will be much needed in the times to come as I think things with the government and business in the US will only get worse. I feel called to energy healing but still have trouble finding the courage. I'm angry at myself for this. I think from reading what many of you have written that I would not have even survived your childhoods so I give so many of you out there great credit for courage. So many of you are so awesome just to survive the things you have. Bless you all.

Same
by: Anonymous

Wow! I know it sounds horrible, but I'm glad there are many others out their who feel the same way I do. I always knew there were, but everyone walks around in life acting like everything is okay when really it isn't.

I will have to add my story. After reading all the other stories I kind of feel like a wuss, because my life doesn't seem to be so bad as others, but I still hate my life.

I feel like I haven't done anything in my life and I screw up everything and any person I come into contact with. I'm a 26-year-old phd student at a major university in the United States. It sounds nice, doing research and teaching, and I like it, but I'm still miserable.

After completing my undergrad I was excited to move away from my parents have my own place and sort of start my life over and hopefully not make the same mistakes and "change" in the new place I live. Well that worked out well for a year or two, but just as research suggests, people don't really change and I did all the usual things I do. I've alienated all of my friends and basically everyone in my department hates me. There is one girl I'm totally in love with and heart sick over, but she won't even talk to me. The pain I feel in my heart and soul are unbearable.

I just don't feel like I can handle life anymore, but I don't know what to do. I would love to go see a psychologist, but I'm worried about the perception if students or people in my department found out I was seeing a psychologist. Also I'm not sure if they could tell me anything I don't already know, considering I'm a social scientist.

I live alone and sometimes I will go days without talking to anyone face to face. I'm not sure if I'm lonely, but I would like a few authentic friends that I could share my thoughts and feelings with. I wish the pain that I feel in my heart about this girl would go away. I wish I would have never met her or myself. I don't know if I could ever commit suicide, but when I go to sleep everyone night I hope I just never wake up and I die in sleep. Hopefully the next time I get my car I get into a car accident and die, so the pain will go away.

To anyone who reads this and feels like you are in a dark place also and you don't know what to do you are not alone, but I don't know what the answer is...

It's so hard to let it out sometimes...
by: Anonymous

It is so hard to let it out sometimes for the fear that everyone will laugh at you and think that you are crazy. I didn't start saying that I hate my life until about 3 years ago. Before that I had a good job, my spouse was in the military, and I had everything that I thought I wanted. I never had any children and thought that this was punishment for being who I am. I only say that because I started to remember my behavior as a teenager. I didn't do everything right and I was not as honest as I should have been. I ask God for forgiveness for that all the time. So why do I feel like I am still paying? I always wanted to be a mom, that never happened. My husband is not as attentive. He loves sports and being left alone. As long as I am not complaining or even look sad, he is okay. So I have to fake it (wait...isn't that lying too?) We don't even spend much time in the same room.

I get jealous of everyone that has a family and someone to talk to and children who depend on them. Why do I beat myself up for things beyond my control? I don't even have a slight answer for that. I pray and pray and pray and some times I feel like God does not hear me. I feel like he hates me. People that have it all say, "oh don't say that...God loves you and you are going to be blessed, I can feel it" and then two years goes by and I am contemplating dying or just running away.

For my entire adult life, I have always been the person that people run to for their problems and issues. I let them vent, I listen to them and I try to be supportive. As soon as I am down and out, they all disappear. I never understood that. It hurts so much. I feel broken, sad, and ashamed. I am a failure and I don't think that will change. I am getting too old. I get scared to even reach out to a church or tell my doctor because when I close my eyes, I see them all laughing at me. It is really hard to let it out sometimes and I know my story is scrambled like an egg, but that is just how my heart feels right now. Please pray for me.

Death
by: Kyou

Basically, people make other people more unhappy. These relationships are supposed to be helpful, but you end up getting used and taken advantage of by the other person, and you do it to them too.

So... Happiness lies in... Accepting that, really, your family and other people don't love you, that others contribute to your being sad and lonely and more miserable all the time.

The way out of it all is not to look for a way to be happy. You are unhappy, so why is that? No one loves you, for instance, so you say "there is no love, but maybe I can get some and start living."

BUT! In THIS case, you are unloved, and persecuted so often. SO, the old saying is that "the truth will set you free." It means you don't try to use love to pick yourself up, since you know it's loaded, it's gonna backfire. You'll wind up feeling even worse, and foolish. So, it's best not to add more insult to already bad injury.

What can you possibly do? Don't die. That's first and foremost. Live in spite of being unloved. See all you put up with to be able to enjoy your life and discover your own sense of self-worth in this

You don't need things bad for you, you will start to protect yourself and what little happiness you can have. Start small, find a job that will get you out of your parents house, so you don't have to be judged by them and live up to the standards.

You are JUST a person, you should just live with that. Anyone who expects more of you is harmful to you, truthfully, so watch carefully for what other people expect of you. They want you to do double-duty, they are so selfish, so you don't want to do that anymore, time for you to get a break. Life isn't giving you one when you live with your parents and you have nowhere to go to just be. You have to perform for them. THAT is a big problem, they are burdening you, that means they probably will always do that. Be careful...

You don't need to win anyone's love or anything. Live in a world where it DOESN'T come naturally. So then, you stop trying for that, it is really self-detrimental, so bad for you to dance all the time to bad tunes, hurting yourself in each step. Time to take a rest from doing that all the time.

You can take care of yourself, because you were not born unhappy. You will feel better the more burdens you give up on. You must do this because you actually WANT to live. This is a basic fact, you are in your own corner. You love yourself. You must try hard to live a life worthy of you.

A total disaster
by: M. Mestre

I am a 15 year old girl in high school. How many times I had mentioned to myself that I hate my life, I'm stupid, helpless, no power and just whatever? Well, since when I move to Canada. Back then, My mom had been abused when I was in her tummy. She told me that my dad had been cheating on her many times, he had slapped her across her face, my dad's sisters has been ganging up on her and my dad threatened my mom to kill her if she'll Say anything and clearly will kill me too and burn to hell.

Then when I was two, my dad came home drunk and started beating the crap out of my mom and I was watching with my bare eyes. I was terrified because he had a scissors with him and point it right in front of my mom's neck. I thought I'm going to lose her forever and stuck with my dad, but suddenly he stopped because his dad heard them. Lucky for me. I was little and I didn't like what I saw obviously.

After that incident, my mom and grandma had planned something. My mom decided to go to Hong Kong without saying anything to my dad just to stay away from my him but she knows that my dad wont hurt me because my grandma protected me at that time. My grandma helped my mom to get away and she finally made it to Hong Kong. At first I didn't understand because I was still four years old when she left me.

My dad was f***ing p*ssed when he found out. He started hitting me when I was 8. Slapping me across my face and butt, yelling, spitting, and telling me that he regretted having me. As soon as he said those words with hate, I cried so hard that I wanted to die, I don't want live anymore.

Anyways, I was 11 years old and came back from school trip.
I was sad that he didn't say anything like "how's trip?" " good thing you're back because I missed you" "are you ok" or any positive caring thoughts to say. I was mad, I told him I'm going to run away because you don't even care about me! But then I didn't realize he was drunk. He started to slap and spit on my face. Then he took the barbeque stick and pointed it at my stomach and he threatened me. Oh my god I thought that was it, that was the end of my life but he didn't kill me. He became calm for some reason and went to his room. I will never forget that memory.

Since then I'm here in Canada right now because my mom claimed me here. I thought everything was over but.. But I'm wrong.

Gave up my life goals and I am lost.
by: gaveupeverything

It was a hard year. It was the last year at University. I had taken on too much and I was failing. How could a top student who won a scholarship for much of my University be failing. It was too much. I couldn't talk to my family. My mom was always afraid of my outbursts and moods. And I was not in a good mood. I was planning my life after graduation.

I know I didn't want my children to face the limitations I faced. A girl, called Wendy, I don't know why, asked me what I wanted from the store. Some one cared about me?!!? enough to get me food. She bought me an apple, and I was in love with her. She was the first person I loved and would be the last.

I wanted so much for my children to have an easier life, with better early education. I struggled, because of my poor early education. Singapore had excellent early education. I wanted to move there and have my family there. Wendy was from Singapore. And needed to return. She pushed me away because I think in her heart she was afraid. Pushing me away hurt so much. I hurt her by accident. I just need help so much. Someone to talk through my life forward.

I kept it inside, in Singapore I admitted I loved her and said my last good bye. I hope she would contact me. But I knew she wouldn't. I cried and cried. I entered my Ph.D. and I cried, I could never love a girl while I remained at University. No one could do that to me again. My opportunity to live and work in Singapore was over as well. After 4rs I dropped out of my Ph.D, to take work totally unrelated to anything I studied. All the years work at University wasted.

My life is just putting in time waiting for my day of death to come. No goals, gave those up log ago. No love and understanding, loving someone made me needy and girls don't like that. A failure, I ranked first in Canada at physics and top 10% in the US, graduated with a scholarship, but that was in electrical engineering. After being out of electrical engineering for 10yrs I cannot find work. I work as a programmer, I don't like it and I am not good at it. Right now I am unemployed and cannot find work.

nothing lasts forever
by: Anonymous

I am 30 female. Abused child who was deprived of the trial and error of being a kid / teenager.

Thus as a 30 year old woman~ I behave in childlike bouts of anger with (thanks to my step~mother) scary violence.

I cannot hold a friend more than 1 year much less a boyfriend~ but at least I know why.

I see my problems so clear~ but I feel like a phony idiot when I try to go to support groups or take any change to fix myself. Its like my subconscious self makes fun of me for trying to change. Yay!

I am alone ~ in Los Angeles severely sad and feeling worthless~ trying to remember the reason I'm not throwing in the towel.

I decided life happiness = relationships + sufficient funds + good choices

I'm lacking In all 3.

A toast to life ' life if you were a human person ~ you'd be serving a life sentence behind bars or on death row at a countryside prison'

revenge
by: Anonymous

I don't know if you will read this, I hope you will.
I typed "why life is unfair" and here I am, by chance, having the same questions as you and as some of the people who answer your message.
I know what it is to hate your life and to feel hopeless I wish that just by telling you pretty quotes your life will change, but I know it won't
nor all the messages that you read.
I can truly tell you that the answer is within yourself, stop reading messages, or reading books.

Listen to your own mind and heart. find your own motivation ( Whatever that is) and use it as fuel when you are feeling down.

Life is life, it may be overrated, it is unfair, it is beautiful, dark, and shiny, boring and interesting, it's your choice.
I don't think there is a god, and religion is such a waste of time, the best revenge to this fu....ed up life is to live well and be happy in the midst of it all. Prove to all your relatives, friends, haters, that you are happy, even if you fake it, it will become a habit, your thoughts can be changed the rest will follow.
The best of luck.

you are loved
by: Anonymous

Hi. You are loved! I often feel like a bozo!
When I pray about it, the Lord says to me, "You are a bozo! But that is not your problem!"
When I was younger and on drugs and alcohol, I was talking to a guy and he said drugs and alcohol are not your problem! I thought he was wrong! He went on to say they are my answer to my problem - and not a good one! He was right! Anyway people kept telling me about the Lord and being born again. I listened but didn't fully go with it. Until a real low point I did. I am saved now! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!
I really do believe accepting Jesus is #1 best you can do! If you admit you are a bozo and need a Holy Savior and ask for forgiveness with a whole heart humbly you will be amazed at the blessing! Love the Lord all you can and love others too!
Your true worth is in Christ and eternal and immeasurable! Often we look at ourselves and sink in despair, yet we go on. Look to the Lord and you will find your real hope and life for sure!
YOU ARE LOVED!

I wish i had not wasted my life
by: Lonely

I had wasted my life trying to make my family happy in the mean time lost my own happiness threw away a woman I loved too scared to get close to anyone.

It kinda sucks really but someone made a good point i need to be selfish I lived my whole life giving to others when I needed me to be there for me. I came from an abusive home where I was locked up in a room for months with my own feces absolute disgust with my parents and my family who thinks I have been a loser and idiot yet I was lending them money when I was a child always had a source of income from small always bought my own clothes my own computers consoles video games plus borrowed them money to keep food on the table. Yet I was the one who would accomplish nothing and was a lazy sob. I was very ambitious young boy did well in school.

Now in the real world I get walked all over shat on disgraced called stupid a loser. I get no respect I feel like I cant get out of my childhood. Everywhere I go people treat me like my parents did so do I listen to my heart and what I think I am or listen to my parents and everyone else.
_________________________________________________

No contest, listen to your heart EVERY TIME and become the person you know you can be. Stand up and be counted! Know you are worthwhile, believe it and make it so! Don't let anybody tell you anything different. Believe in you.
Love
Kay
x

We all have the same problem. Add me
by: Anonymous

Lets make our lives better and create relationships here. I'm turning 18 and my life seems to go downhill as I get older. Lets help each other. Please add me and we shall talk. oo_cici_oo@hotmail.com. I feel so useless and stupid. I want to do something. I really want to help and make close friends.

Uneverything
by: Levi

I am 32 and live with my parents. When I was 16 I lived on my own had a house a car and a great life. I lost it all in what seemed to be one quick endless motion. Now I have nothing and see nothing in the future.

I believe that I am cursed and that there is nothing that can help me. I have a daughter that I cannot take care of , no employer and no education. I am afraid of tomorrow and some times hope not to awake to it.

No good background
by: Anonymous

I'm 15 and I've given up. I've always cared, I've always been determined at everything I did. I study 6 hours just for a test and get a 80. That may be good for a lot of people, but that p*sses me off. The fact that I try so hard and can never get good results is killing me.

Also, my parents don't care about me, they like my sisters more than me. I've run away 3 times already, and when my parents track me down they just yell at me and then they fake cry and lie that they care about me. My dad is a closeted gay, my mom is a slut, nothing is going right. people think I'm gay but I'm not. I like girls but my parents don't like me seeing them because they want me to be like them, which includes religion, which is fake. LET ME LIVE MY LIFE IS ALL I ASK!

love yourself!
by: Anonymous

You are beautiful!

You are smart and reflective. Your writing demonstrates a deep longing to find meaning in your own life... don't give up, you will find it.

we are so similar
by: Melissa

I just wanna tell you my situation mirrors yours. I unhappily live with my parents. Have pretty much no friends. No school/career motivation. (I've tried) don't stick at my jobs. Feel so in a rut. Never feel happy or excited. Just see the same house out of my window for 24 years, and the same people I barely liked in high school. I never get asked on a date, probably cause I don't know many people or get out much.

I must be cursed or something. Everyone moves on and manages to have some kind of life but me. I feel so weird but I'm not. This lifestyle is driving me crazy. It's not me. It was forced on me.

we are on the same boat!
by: Anonymous

I live with my parents and I am 30! I am still single with no kids and I don't own a car nor do I drive. so if you think you have it bad, there's someone out there a lot worse off than you.

I am in college right now barely trying to get my associate's degree. I can't believe I let my twenties pass me by! I too was in a lot of sh*tty relationships where I let "boys" not men walk all over me. and with that, they took my self esteem with them.

I refuse to give up. I am on medications right now and I think they are the only reason I keep going and keep on with my head up. I work @ a job that pays a little more than minimum wage and I hate it I am always stressed out so that's why I am hoping I get enough courage to start driving so I can get the hell out lol. I feel like a moron for not driving but I'm slowly trying to get motivated because I live in a city where a car is a must to get around.

I will not let all this negativity get the best of me. I am keep going and eventually I'll finish school, move out, and hopefully find a decent man, but time is flying so fast. sigh :/

stay positive
by: dean

Sh8t is rough but i try to think positive. I've got a minimum paying job and a girl that I think doesn't love me anymore but I keep on keeping on.... So keep your head up something good is bound to happen.

lifes a game...
by: Anonymous

..with no serious point or destination. 'do what makes you happy' we have lives we're not content with and do jobs we hate. but we must continue with the job we hate to continue on living.
Quite a trap ey! Ask yourself what would you do if money wasn't a factor..... see where that takes you

You received a ton of attention
by: Anonymous

I was confused about why my life was such a painful re-occurring embarrassment, until at 42 years old I read the book "Toxic Parents", then it dawned on me

i'm in a gang!
by: frustrated kid

I'm 24,,, thought I'm alone... Now i feel little bit fine... To know I'm not the only guy to feel so. Any one there to help me to get a job even without pay... I'm dying of frustration... call me help me please......

life sucks and it always will
by: Anonymous

I also hate my life I'm never going to get anywhere I hated school. I hate church and some days at work really dig into my skin one day I'll finally give up and that will be it. I could blab for an hour but it still wont change anything.

hang in there
by: Jaya4Raya

Keep your head up, there is always someone out there whose life is worse than yours.

I feel the same way too sometimes, I am struggling to get my associate degree and I am almost 30, sometimes I feel like an idiot. But then I think, I can do it, I just have to put my mind to it, yea it may take me a little longer and I'll be a lot older, but at least I accomplished something, one of my goals in life.

We have a lot of similarities...
by: Sean

There are some of us who understand out here. I'm 34 and I have not been able to get my life straight. I have not lived at home since I was seventeen, but instead found young women to take care of me.

My intentions in the beginning are not that at all. My depression from a lifetime of abuse always seems to fall down very hard on me which causes me to quit whatever work I'm doing. I've tried to be social over my lifetime but it always falls flat. I believe I now suffer from agoraphobia. I purposely lock myself away from the world because I cant bring myself to be like other or even have any of their interests.

Thoughts of revenge on my abusers keep me "locked up" too. I have to keep myself busy with my hobbies almost 24/7 to keep my mind off my "failed existence", but still find myself contemplating suicide. I wish I had something positive to say to you. But you are in no way alone. I know what its like when no one gets you. Especially those who are "closest" to you. I wonder why there are some like us that feel so hopelessly lost.

What a whiney dip
by: Anonymous

Amazing... Why wold you ever think that life would correct itself for you. What makes you think it's all about you?? I would bet anything that you are a selfish cranky b*tch that never gave one of the good guys a chance to get to know you... much less you taking the time to get to know him. I'm not talking about some hottie you met in a bar... I'm talking about people.. those who surround you every day... Take a look around you. See what the hell is going on, and get real.

I for one am sick of you drones whining about how YOU are. I'm sure other people around you are sick of it too. Give a little of yourself. Get to know people... but... I know you won't.. you don't have the good sense God gave you...

dont get married!!!
by: ruben

Wow I thought I was the only one that hated my life. My life used to be great and now its in total ruin. I'm married to a wife I can't stand. I'm having a child with a woman I don't love (my wife) and I just lost my 3 jobs due to a car accident that left my back hurting. So I'm stuck at home or Hell it all seems the same. I can't leave her because everything is under her name and I won't even have a toothbrush to brush my teeth with.

I don't know what to do and to be honest I'm just really down on life and it don't seem to be getting any better. My life used to be perfect but god has it taken a turn for the worst. I feel as though god keeps putting me through the test seeing how many times I can get back on my feet and start from scratch but man it gets tiring. Hope everyone else's life is better than mine. If not then good luck.

--
by: Anonymous

I don't know what to say.
I don't know if I have depression or not, or if I have any internal problems, but what I do know is that I always seem to find myself in a dark place.

I will try to do something and if I fail immediately feel upset about it. Most of the time, I'm sad for myself. I'm sad about my life, I'm sad that I'm such a disappointment, I'm sad about who I'm becoming.

I used to be so pure, so holy, so happy, so loved, and now I've let it all go. I no longer have a want to be spiritual, I seek material happiness, I love my parents so much but have no way of thanking them or returning my love to them. I cant succeed in anything I do and feel like the only student in my classes who doesn't understand anything.

I don't like getting help from others, I'm very self-conscious, and I'm just always so sad lately. I don't know where my life is going, or who I'm becoming, but I'm scared. I'm so scared of whats happening ahead of me. I'm scared I'm going to change and lose my friends, my life. I'm scared people will stop loving me. I'm scared I wont be the pure and happy hearted person I once was.
I don't know what to do.
_______________________________________________

What you focus on in life becomes how you are. You tell yourself so often that you are scared this is how you have become, because your subconscious believes that, yes, you are scared, and why wouldn't it when you say it so often!
Change those thoughts to positive ones. I am happy, I am positive. Focus on good things about yourself and become this way. Only you can do this, It's all about your self talk. Change how you think and you will change yourself and your life.
Love
Kay
x
Im sorry this was really pointless.
Thanks though.

Is this world real?
by: Why God?

If you think you have screwed your life up because you never became a lawyer or went to college you are mistaken. From hard lessons I have learned remember LIFE IS RELATIVE .. never forget what it means to be alive.. to be happy.. to enjoy everyday.... to live to your fullest... even if you go to college it does not mean you will be happy..

Personally I have tried and worked my ass off at high school and it has brought me nothing but pain and grief.. I would trade places with any of you if I could have my friend back.. if I could be happy.... So if you alcoholic tendencies or have done drugs or any so called "unethical" things and think you have wasted your life away and its too late.. just remember it is never too late to find happiness. It can be walking down the block.. saying hi and congratulating your friends.. even breathing .. whatever makes you happy. And let me personally tell you from a 4.0 student that going to a top college does not make me happy.. my ancestors and probably yours would probably not given a flying f**k if we did not go to college or even high school.. they would of just wanted us to be happy.. so if you cannot find a reason to live for yourself.. just do it for your ancestors and all the sacrifices they have made ...for your friends.. for your mom.... just to prove the others who wrote you off wrong.. whatever it is NEVER GIVE UP

I have been in that sh*t hole of a place...lets get out of this together.
-Torin D

Is this world real?
by: Why God?

Hello world,
I am a 17 and already I feel like I am an old man. Every day when I go to school, I just get so depressed and stare out the windows as the clouds go by. Everything I see at my high school seems fake. The way all the teachers kiss butt to the jocks, the way every body pretends they are all friends but are secretly cutting each others throats, the way everybody pretends not to mention and remember 7 of our students committed suicide.

The way everybody says that they will become a doctor and go to Harvard and everyone says they are so smart but they know nothing of the real world. These idiots live in rich Palo Alto California. They have never worked for anything, yet they are the ones who get the best opportunity. Sometimes I pretend I am having a one on one conversation with God. So many questions and so little answers... Life is unfair as it is random. Why does everyone pretend everything is ok when it is not? I was from a tough neighborhood in SF. I will probably be the only one to go to college. Why does fate let me go to college, but not these others who could not make it out of the ghetto? Everyday I ask myself. My friends from SF were just as smart as me but they were not granted the opportunity. Why ?Why did my friend commit suicide? Is there something I could of done I am such an idiot. I was so caught up in going to PRINCETON and working my ass off and all this BULLSH*T that I did not even stop to see if my disappear. Well 2 years later and a sh*t ton of useless work later I go to visit Princeton and I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT! I may never apply to Princeton but I can never get my friend back....

Everyday I bike over the railroad tracks near my house.. it reminds me... of what I have lost.. And now I realize what a fool I was..

I Hate People
by: Anonymous

I read your story and a few others and I feel the same way, but I come from a very different background...sometimes it seems so different that I don't think anyone will ever really understand my pain.

I grew up in an "upper class" family. My parents and siblings totally rejected who I was as a person from infancy, but also demanded that I play their intense game of false hyper happiness and brutal over-achievement -- so I did. I became things that I thought made me the best and admired and that I was "happier than anyone" and "having more fun than anyone." I was president of my class in college and of the student body in high school. I was "popular" and I thought I was doing good for the people around me.

I conformed totally and did things that won the approval and praise of my peers and authority figures. I thought I "had it made." And this was all consuming. The amount of time and energy I devoted to this "success" was total.

I thought I had created a world where "everyone liked me," but it turns out that I unconsciously believed that "everyone hated me". I didn't know it then, but I now know that also means that "I hated everyone."

That feeling is so strong in me that it just rises up and ruins any real friendships and relationships before I even know it. I always feel betrayed or like I have made another stupid mistake and fallen for the wrong person...again.

Every time I try to do something for me, the inner critic just blasts me down.

I am overwhelmed by all the dark feelings within me and I feel deeply evil and hateful. I then also believe that everyone else is this way and so I feel terrified of other people.

By the way, I am a 54 year old white male. Everything I have said up to this point goes double for how I react to other men.

I have been in therapy of one kind or another for 25 years. I am on anti depressants. Compared to most people, I do not have a lot of obvious stress or pressure in my life...and this is still how it is for me.

I feel deeply alone and pretty isolated. I do know people, and am not entirely without friends...but most of them are on the phone and/or online. I have very few friends where I live.

One of my closest friends is a prostitute who I see regularly.

I feel like I have majorly f*cked up my therapy and healing too much of the time.

Having said all of this... I do have the beginnings of awareness that everything I have described to you are "old feelings" and that "the present" is something very different from that. My therapist keeps telling me that this is the key to being happy -- and I am starting to believe her and even have some experiences of that...but I just want to say "F*ck it" and throw it all out the window sometimes... and do.

my life is sad
by: Anonymous

My family is too over protective and guess what I hate it and they think that by being protective it's going to make me like them but no it isn't.
Right now I am 15 and I am not that good in my subjects, but seriously when I am 18 I am craving to leave this place
Even right now me writing this is making me cry full of anger

Right now I feel much better after letting out my anger
thanx guys

Z.U

(initials don't like to put full name)

Pain is essential
by: Jasmine-Lee

I can't believe how many of us feel the same exact way yet live completely different lives. I many not know all the answers but I know the road to them. I know different escape routes. Dreaming is one of them. If you feel like there ain't nothing else you're able to focus on then focus on yourself. There's nothing wrong with being a little selfish especially after enduring life's miseries, troubles and pain.

Look into lucid dreaming and try to solve your own life's mysteries. Sometimes you get answers , sometimes you get direction. Sometimes you just get to have pure fun. Put all your faith into yourself and ask yourself what do YOU want for your life. Not what society leads you to think. MESSAGE TO THIS WHOLE PAGE: IT'S NOT OUR LIVES THAT WE HATE. ITS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN AND WHAT SOCIETY LEADS US TO BELIEVE. There is something embedded in us that makes us feel like we wanna turn off (die) because we are not living to our full capabilities.

Since society is powerful in making us believe what those capabilities are we have lost ourselves and feel we have no purpose when purpose is all we were born with. We feel like we are off track but we right on it. We feel hopeless and useless but in actuality are full of more hope and use than the people we consider to be "successful".

We all have a purpose even if its just to get together on this site and make the difference in each others lives. I know nobody here personally but feel a great connection to you guys and pure love in essence. I hope we can overcome this new form of mind control called depression and psychosis.

Born damned
by: Anonymous

I am 20, married and have a son. I have to live with my husbands awful family until we finish college ( like 3 years) his sister is a b*tch, his mom is psychotic and everyone else just doesn't give a sh*t. I hate these people douch because I've had to be around them so much for so long.

I am about to lose my mind and threaten suicide about twice a week, I blow up on my poor husband and also threaten invite if he makes me stay here much longer. I suffer from depression and live with incredible guilt every day for the things I say and think. Yeah it's pretty much hopeless, I don't wanna hear " oh, don't kill yourself, you have a family, it will all be better soon" heard that and it's bullsh*t, I just want to know what the hell I need to do to be happy.

i hate my life
by: Anonymous

Hey there's your reason. Live for your daughter. There are times when I want to commit suicide but something tells me to hang on and keep living. Life is a gift. Life is not easy. It could be a bumpy road with many obstructions on the way but if there weren't any problems on the way what would make life worth it.

I learned that life is a teacher quizzing and testing to see if you can sustain all the heavy work and load on your back. Even though I'm not satisfied with my life, I still look at the bright side and advantages I have had. You might live in your elderly parents' home but that doesn't mean you have to end up there.

Everyone in this world is worth a lot, even if one is poor. I have met rich people who have everything (materialistic people) but they don't have the "big" asset of which is love and happiness. money isn't everything. Just hang on and struggle because it'll pay off one day. Nothing is for ever trust me. I learned that from my mother. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and I thought that was it. She went through hard medications that would weaken her but somehow she managed to get rid of that disease. Hope is everything.

People make fun of me and treat me like an object but it really doesn't bother me. I'm that person that you can call a "people pleaser". .But I'm not giving up... I don't have close friends, the types that you would hang out with on a Friday night, but it really doesn't matter even though i stress about it sometimes. Everyone has something to offer the world. So show your daughter that you can do it. May you and your daughter be blessed...

I hate my life too!
by: Anonymous

I hate my life too, but I do not want to give up on myself. I too hate my life, although I have a beautiful, wonderful 2 year old daughter. I hate my life because I am a single mom who is so I broke I have to live with my elderly parents who drive me crazy. They are very difficult to live with, they always put me down and accuse me of doing things I haven't done, and we argue all the time.

I can't afford to move out and I am struggling to find a job. Even if I found a full-time job it would not pay enough for me to be able to put my daughter in daycare and support us both.
I have bad depression and anxiety and social anxiety disorders, I have seen both a psychologist and a psychiatrist this year and over the years I have tried all kinds of medications.

I feel like a loser because my brothers are both successful, a surgeon and a lawyer, and both won university scholarships, but I am the one who ended up a drug-addicted hooker who ended up in rehab. Fortunately that is in my past now, but I still hate my life, for many reasons.

I have barely any friends and struggle to make and maintain friendships, so I really hate my life because I am always really lonely and have no-one to go out and do things with. I have really low self-esteem and even when I try my hardest to be confident and friendly in a social situation people will ask me what is wrong with me. I am allergic to alcohol so I find it hard to get on with people in social situations.
I hate my life because I have a university degree and a post-graduate diploma yet I have failed to ever work in a job that pays little more than above minimum wage. I usually get fired from my jobs for not fitting in or being suited to the job, I don't know what is wrong with me, I try so hard to do everything right. I just feel like no-one ever really likes me or they use me or reject me.

I am so tired of being lonely and I just hope that my daughter grows up to happy and not hate her life, and that she doesn't have to experience a lot of what I have been through.
My depression and anxiety gets so bad that I get physically sick a lot of the time and I get so unwell I am not able to work.
But I really hope that all of you out there who feel suicidal get better somehow, please do not take your own life!
I am really lazy but I went for four hour and a half long walks this week, which made me feel a little bit better.
Thanks for reading my ramble, I really hate my life at the minute, right now I am super bored and lonely, and not motivated to do much. I wish I didn't feel this way!
I could write so much more about why I hate my life!

i hate my life
by: Anonymous

I'm only 17 and in high school.. I have no friends at all. Everyone picks on me and makes me feel useless. I feel like I'm just a piece of crap in this world where everyone steps on me and uses me.

I have no self esteem and no confidence. I have never had a girlfriend. I have had crushes but I'm never manly enough to express myself. I don't socialize, don't go out. I don't do anything at all. What hurts the most is that I know I have a good heart but everyone seems to miss that.

My life at home is all arguments. My mom doesn't care about me. In fact when I go to visit colleges she says I could go alone because I'm almost an adult. I'm even afraid to look myself in the mirror. No one likes me. I feel useless. Why was I brought into this world?... I feel useless.

Thanks for taking some of your time to read this.

Grateful for this site... Thank you!
by: Feeling Expunged

Thank you to the person maintaining this website, I've found this place by googling "I HATE MY LIFE"... not going to get into details, but I've had a slow draining decade long process where my hopes and dreams diminish every year to the point now where I felt really hopeless and utterly void of value.

But there is something about reading about the experiences of the others that really calms me down and put things in perspective, whether it be from a person older or younger than me, or those who have more and less, I have learned that things can pretty much feel like sh*t at any given time.

I am going to start the process of removing the obsessive focus on the negative aspects of my life, and will strive hard to earn better things in life.... I do feel like sometimes the effort is wasted, and I couldn't have done anymore, but I know that things will only stay the same if I stop trying - I know very well that I already hate my current situation enough to feel it in my bones.

So here's to everyone stumbling into this website and having the worst time of their life. Let's get on with our lives - every minute counts! I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life.

Cheers!

_____________________________________________

Thanks for the positive comments, with the right attitude you will succeed!
Love
Kay
x

believe in better things to come
by: anonamous

I also feel disappointed with myself. I often feel worthless, desperate and lonely. The only solution is to stay positive, don't beat yourself up, keep looking for some tiny grain of happiness in everyday events. Dont keep going over negative thoughts, don't read negative stuff, all easier said than done but believe me believe in yourself and hold on to happier times to come.

Life is a potty hole
by: Anonymous

I hate my life. I hate my parents i basically hate everything. When I am not in the house, not near my parents I am the happiest soul on earth. My parents don't beat me, its just that they are unfair. They let their son do whatever and not me. I hate it and I am slowly starting to ill-hate them. I am a free spirit I want freedom I'll choose anything freedom over anything.

Don't say that
by: Anonymous

This might sound like I'm bragging but I have a wonderful family and friends. I think you need to be more open with some people. Be proactive not reactive.

You sound like a sweet person and I think any guy would love to have you but I think you are putting your fears in front of you and blaming the shame on your parents. Remember words don't HURT! Probably if you tell your parents what's on your mind, you would probably start having a good relationship with them.

Life
by: Anonymous

I am 32 feel hopeless have 2 kids I don't c cause I'm jobless I would be homeless but my girlfriend who is on welfare feeds and houses me. She bitches a lot because I'm depressed and don't do much to better myself. I used to work in the union but don't because I can't pay them. Suicide has crossed my mind but really I love life just not happy with wje4e I am in mine I work. Hard but never have enough to pay my bills I don't have much education and owe 50k in child support. I love motorcycles it is the freedom i lust for but cant afford to ride mine. I want to leave where i am to find better opportunities.

My family gives me no support and I feel like if I leave I have nothing. But reading all the sadness I think has inspired me to sell. everything

Life is a mystery
by: Thomas

I was surfing facebook today and had the stupid idea of checking out profiles of people (not friends) from high school, people who would not have let me be their friend, granted I never tried because I knew they would not like me. So I found a handful of them, all friends with each other on facebook. They look so happy, all went to college at big colleges, went on to have great careers.

Here I am unemployed, single, depressed, unmotivated, made wrong decisions in life. I cant stop looking at their facebook pages, pretending I was them. I WANT THEIR LIFE!!!!!!!!! Ok,I made some mistakes, my family had no money, I want another chance at life to do it right....like they did. This sucks.

_______________________________________________

Thomas, you can change your life right now by changing your attitude, changing the self talk you have. They have made their lives by doing what was best for them. It's not too late for you to turn your life around, but sitting looking at them on facebook isn't going to achieve anything. Decide what you want to do, put goals into place and work your way towards them. Only you can do this. You can choose how your life is going to become. Remember the thoughts you have make your reality.
Good luck,
Love
Kay
x

hi
by: Anonymous

Hey I don't know when you posted this message, but I sincerely hope you are better now. Do remember that there are tough times, but if you wallow in your own pity no one will ever be there. Don't search for inspiration. just get up and change your life. I know you want to. and I trust you will, and I am some person from a distant land. Someone you will probably never see in your life. I have no idea how I tumbled upon your blog. But if I care and wish you see you happy then I am sure you will do something about it. Tomorrow is a new day.

a few words..
by: Anonymous

I have always felt depressed too. I have chronic depression, anxiety disorder and body dysmorphic disorder. I now am seeing a therapist to help me but every time I leave I end up crying because I have no one to talk to until my next appointment. I have no friends either. I used to but they have all used me and all they care for is partying. I dropped them because I want my life to be so much more than that.

Now that I'm trying to make new friends it is so difficult because I can be very shy and awkward. I feel like everyone takes me as a joke and I have NO ONE. My family is there but I can't talk to them about anything and we don't get along more than half of the time anyway. I work a sh*tty job and I get treated like sh*t and I am still stuck at my parents house.

I have never really belonged to anyone, romantic wise. I see many guys that could possibly be the one but at the same time my mind tells me, what's the point? that I'm not worth it.
All I want for my future is to be happy successful, in love and fulfilled and to be beautiful. I still don't understand why I feel this way, I'm just hanging by a thread and have been for years. It is so hard to make everything turn around for me for the better but I can't afford to give up because I part of me see's the light at the end of the tunnel but then I get sucked back into my sadness and loneliness. I one of those that think that I am going to die of a broken heart.
Still, I keep a fake half smile on my face with a little hope and that's all I have to keep me strong for now. I have God to spill my heart to but at times I feel like I am a disappointment to him too. I want to try meditation or at least find something I believe in so I can find purpose, just something.

One thing left todo
by: Mike

Well it seems as if you have searched the ends of the earth, as I once did, for the thing I wanted the most, happiness. Unfortunately the world and everything in it is not here to make me happy. The world may lean towards "what ever makes you happy" kind of thinking but it simply is not true. I found all this out when I did the last thing anyone in my life would have guessed I would have done: I believed that there was a God. Not religion. I just said OK God if you are real show me.

Over time things started to change and my heart was heavy with the guilt of all the wrong doings in my life. I read the Bible and realized that the missing thing in my life, the emptiness, was my separation from my Creator and Father whom loves me. My want to run my own life the way I wanted and giving in to the worldly ways of thinking and living pushed me far from the Father. I gave up trying to make a square fit into a circular hole and started repenting to God. Happiness is merely a side affect to praising and honoring the Lord. I found this page because I googled "I hate my life". Even now as a believer in God, it is not always easy and I am not always happy. I actually feel like a total failure to my wife and kids right now but I know that God loves me and wants me to talk to Him about it. I know that I can be forgiven over and over again.

I no longer feel totally lost as I once did. Do as I did and challenge God, from your heart, to reveal Himself. He will because He loves you!

im so sad
by: Anonymous

Well, i live in Suriname. I am very rich and very successful, good looking. but hence no self esteem. I have also tried everything that i imagined possible. But its like everybody is having fun, and even if i engage in a fun activity its like I'm not participating.

I'm a male, 30 years now, and i am very scared to end up alone. I love a gorgeous woman, who decided to be a whore, literally, and i have to deal with it if i want to continue with her. I guess that's where i lost all faith in the world, as i really really love her.

So i put on a fake smile. keep smiling and look good. but i know I'm never gonna change.

My advice to thoes on this sight and life in general.
by: Anonymous

I'm only 16 and music is my life. Today me and my band played a terrible show which everyone laughed and thought was awful nerves got the better of us. I play guitar and I know that we aren't terrible but it came across like we were.

We practice like crazy and complete strangers have enjoyed our music and came to listen to our music but this show was terrible. It's not fair that our school saw us like they did. I know this comment might be different from the others on this sight but when you fall down in life your left looking at the stars, am not gonna act like it's the end of the world but am gonna see how to make things better and play as best we can.

My advice is don't expect success and happiness to fall out the sky you gotta work at things to make them amazing, sometimes you need to experience the bad in life to see how good the good can be. Am no expert but i hoped this helped someone.

lonely and angry
by: Anonymous

Hi, I am 30 single and jobless. I have a good family and live on benefits. Nothing was ever hard before. I am trying to sort out my ongoing neighbour issues as I live in a flat and am looking to move somewhere else as I have had enough.
Why is it then, I feel so down I wish I was brave enough to run away, and never be in contact with people?
People in public frighten me with their moaning, complaining and general bad attitude. I was brought up by my parents to be nice and respectful but lately, I feel a sudden urge to be nasty as I am always the one who says 'sorry' for accidently bumping into people!
I have been really trying to get work but as I cant I am back on antidepressants. I feel like a none achiever. My sister is 2 years older, worked for BA for 10 years, married, and is expecting a baby next year.

I feel like all I have done is sponged off the benefits, family, yes I have my own flat but why do I feel like I am worthless?

Im probably not the only one, but I just hate everything and cant see anything positive anymore.
I hate my flat, neighbours, and the fact I cant get a stupid job.
IS IT REALLY THAT BAD???!

do something out there
by: Anonymous

Focus outside.
The altering question for me when I was at my worst....
"what do you do for yourself, like a hobby?"
Hobby? What is that?
She said... do something, other than work, other than the TV, do something. She was right. I used to paint and with the dread I couldn't bring myself to pick up a brush. But even if I didn't feel like it I decided I would do it every day when I got home. One evening while forcing myself to be creative I realized... I thought wrong. It wasn't that the world sucked. That thought was so untrue. There were plenty of good things. I was focusing on the wrong sh*t.

I promised my self.. and I kept a journal, whenever I thought a negative as soon as I was aware I was doing it I would combat it with a realistic positive. My thing was ... "the world is sad and not worth being in" well that is obviously not true. So, I would turn it around and think of the good stuff... even if it was simply the beauty of a tree, or the good deeds people do, the company of the family dog, the memories of good moments. It took a while but I firmly believe it is your mind, not your life that you wish to change. You are not your thoughts that spin in your head .... you, I, we are so much more than that.
It worked for me. I hope it works for others... but remember it is work. Your mind does not change itself and it will fight you but in the end you are its master... and remember life is what it is. It is neither happy nor sad, it is not perfect. You will always have good days and you will always have bad days. You will have good moments and bad moments. It is your life.
I have always felt pressured by society to have and do and be as the rest have, do and be. I know now society can shove it up their a**es... I have, do and be how I am and although some may see me a "different" I am now more content in my mind and feel the world to be more at peace than ever before. I enjoy the good the bad because neither is all good nor all bad.

Hope you get better
by: Anonymous

Let me start of by saying that I can understand why you feel like this. On the other hand, you're negative attitude is not helping you. Depression is a vicious cycle (trust me I know) but one that can be broken by just changing the way you look at things.

Life is not all bad, there is beauty in everything around us, you just have to really look. If you only focus on the bad, that is all you will ever see. You want to change your life, then do it! Don't wait around for someone else to change it, take action! Start by getting your self-esteem up. People see what you let them see. If you are not happy then change it (believe me I have heard these words before and I know how frustrating they can be, but they are true). Honestly take charge and be who you think you ought to be. Deep down you know what you are capable of, which is why you are unsatisfied with where you are now. By the way your parents love you, some people aren't so lucky. Appreciate what you have because you might not know it but you are better of than some. Best of luck. And try to grab life with both hands because it would be a shame to let it slip you by.

You're not alone
by: Anonymous

Hello,

Don't feel like you are alone. I feel the same way.

I'm only 13, and I'm already getting bad grades. I stay up till 3:00 am at the earliest studying, and just that feeling when I look around the classroom at my classmates and seeing them all succeed just makes me want to kill myself. Even worse, I'm going to one of the toughest high schools in the country, and I know I might drop out. I don't have that many friends, and my friendships don't last long. One day I'm laughing with one of my friends and the next day they act like they never knew me or they hate me.

I don't know what to do. I have had enough. I want to die.

I feel the same
by: Anonymous

I am 43 years old and feel exactly the same. I have 2 kids, 2 step daughters. I hate my life. I cannot hold down a job, I am still living off of my mom and dad, I have no vehicle, I have no purpose to get up in the morning. I am so sick of all of these people who say.... hang in there la la la, and all of those things, and it will get better.

Well, it has been almost 10 years and not one thing has changed. I even went back to college to get my masters and I cannot get a job. It is ridiculous! I want to vent my anger. It makes me angry that I have to live off of my parents. It makes me angry when I see other people who have more than me and live horrible lives. I see those who do not lead decent lives getting what they want and now I am at the point of doing the same.

Cest la vie
by: Sianne

Like sucks for everybody sometimes. Even the most powerful, smartest and good looking. We all have challenges and face bad times but its those that make us stronger. If we never faced the worst times we would never appreciate the good or learn to face what troubles us. Look for the rainbow in every storm. Or build a bridge and get over it.

Rise
by: Anonymous

The night is always darkest just before the dawn.
Life is full of vast complexities of an undefinable magnitude and direction. Problems challenges... makes me wonder why we try so hard to live. But its those little moments you know, that kid who smiles at you on the bus or that extra drink the machine gives you that make it worthwhile. It maybe that our worst moments destroy us but if we wait till it rights itself, and it will, then that is what should define us.

I know that we will always be knocked down, Im not that wise and I haven't lived that long (17), but I know that our greatest glory is when we get back up.

I should be happy
by: Anonymous

I am 26, I moved to Miami Florida to party and love it up. I have two degrees and two jobs. I guess I should consider myself lucky, but I am not happy. I have no friends down here, and all I do is work. I feel old and not cute. I am not dating, and I want to be married. I have a soul mate but he has four kids and I just CAN NOT at this time commit to that. I am single and no kids with an okay wage coming in. Why am I not happy? I need more, but what?

Look at yourself
by: Anonymous

Don't look for someone else to save you or love you - you have your self. Learn to love you, then you will save yourself. Healthy normal people are not attracted to neediness - in your present state you will only attract control freaks or those with saviour complexes.

First, get your work life in order - then work on your inner life. Learn to meditate, do yoga or take long walks, whatever works for you - try everything until you find YOUR thing. Be loving toward everyone, including your parents. Even if they don't reciprocate, reach out to them even if it is just to call and say hello, was thinking of you, hoping things are well. You are alive and that means that the universe/god has plans for you - you have to work out what they are. Don't give up and keep looking and moving forward.

Hate My Life
by: Anonymous

I hate my life and want to die. I can't make friends and I'm a boring person. I can be weird sometimes to, I try not to but I just naturally am. I'm unmotivated and lazy.

I just started school at Grand Valley University in Allendale Michigan and I've struggled so far. I have bad grades and have not really made any friends. What has made everything worse is my cousin passing away this year. She got in a car accident in September. She was only 15. She was the passenger and her car flipped and hit a pole on her side. I did not know her that well. However, I am still saddened by this because she loved life, and I do not, so I don't understand why she had to die and I still have to live. We both would be very happy if it had been opposite. I have lost faith in life and in God. Thanks for reading, but stop wasting your time on me.

turning 20 soon
by: Anonymous

eh... is there even a point anymore?.. it seems like we all share the same fragile sense of security in our little domes; tucked away from reality, and withering away like inept byproducts of our crumbling society. There is no sanctuary in love, or beer, or dreams... I swear, sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who can look at their lives and feel like everything is so right..

F*cked over by mother nature
by: Anonymous

I wasn't born with the necessary genetic traits to guide me through this crazy modern world. It's all predetermined luck. Every success, every failure, can be attributed to Nature or Nurture. Some people have loving parents with lots of money, others don't. Some people are physically beautiful, some aren't. Everything is just a roll of the dice. I was dealt an un-winnable hand of cards, and I must fold soon.

LOL!
by: Anonymous

I'm 42. Went to college TWICE, now work in the IT Field, had an 8yr relationship with a "Barbie" who's now in her late 20s, thought we were in love/wanted to marry her & make her life happy, and got blown off. Now I have a nice healthy drinking problem (which started after dumping her).

Deep in student loan debt, making only $32K/yr, living in my parents basement. I work to pay bills. Fun is for those who can afford it.

My teen years were spent studying, playing "computer games". So, no social life.

Now as an "Adult" I have no social life other than work. Come home. Eat Dinner. Waste time online. Drink. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.

There's more "Stuff", but I just dont feel like typing it.

Sh*t! I even tried drinking myself to death. Didn't make it.

Even tried dating online! Seems all women want is a tall, rich, muscular guy in his 20s. Good luck with that, ya fat pigs!!!

So F*ck it! If the world doesnt "end" in 12/21/2012, it will for me.

I'm short. I'm geeky. I'm skinny. I'm middle aged. And got NOWHERE in life, other than a few $$$ more ahead in life.

get over it and enjoy your life.
by: Anonymous

ok ..i get it being sad is a norm for everyone..but let me say GET OVER IT...im sorry at least you have parents to go to. they give a place to live.. they paid for an education that you decided you no longer like? so look into how you can take that degree and find a field in it that you would like!
I lost my house ..my cars ..my biz..I had NO ONE NOT ONE person offer to help or even ask how I was doing. My ex lives in a mansion making probably 20-40 million a year and he didn't blink to help. same with people I used to call friends. Even the people I help not one of them called to say can I help you pack.. at times I did not have money to buy food for my family of 3. My kids had to give up their beds ..their rooms ..their friends for us to move into a new area in the city.
BUT I GOT UP EVERY DAY..thanked god for the beauty he gives me for free .. the sunset. the trees that change color..the blue sky with fluffy clouds...then I moved towards whatever work I could do to make money.. I used to run companies now I am happy to deliver pizzas... so get over you BS feeling sorry for yourself. You are blessed and have been given many road ways to take however you are choosing to sit back and cry poor me?
The best advice I got was from my 18 yr old... she said "mom life changes by the minute .. you don't know what tomorrow brings.... things change you can hit the lottery .. you could come up with the next big idea.. don't give up mom" ... She is an old soul and she is right.. I wish you luck but start to live and stop whining.

i know how you feel
by: Anonymous

This is my life at age 18 I joined the Marine Corps in the spring of 1989 my unit was sent to panama. One night a fire fight broke out a shot and killed what I believed to be an enemy combatant. The only thing was I did not know there was a friendly patrol there. I shot and killed my best friend.
After getting out of the Marine Corps I got married and had a son. My wife cheated on me and we split up. In 2000 I found a new calling a Police officer. Shortly after I meet a new girlfriend and we wad happy for 10 years. We had a daughter that I love very much.
One night two cruisers crashed into one another killing a very good friend. I had to go tell this 21yrs old's mother that her daughter was killed. That still bothers me today.

Then New years eve. 2010. I was working when we get a call about shots fired at an address of a friend if mine. When I got there he was standing on the porch with a shot gun in his mouth. As I walked up to him he pulled the trigger.
Due to the stress of the job my girlfriend throws me out of our house. We start talking again in June 2011 and all three of us go on vacation to the beach. While there my father get bad and dies July 1 2011. My girlfriend then texts me on July 15 saying she got a new boy friend to leave her alone. I snap and tried to kill myself. My brother finds me and then I was put in a mental hospital. After 2 days they let me out. Due to all the emotional pair I burn my legs. My Bruce caught me and back to the hospital for 7 days. About two weeks later I was going to jump off a water tower but was arrested before I could. This time a state mental hospital for 9 days. Then I meet Ella she is great hitting it off really good date for about 2 months and then she texts that she is going back to her old boyfriend. I'M DONE

You are amazing
by: Anonymous

Had a horrific day; ran across your blog .... hang in there. Hugs. T

Youre not in Africa!!
by: Anonymous

OMG,I thought I had problems but bloody nora you people need to take a step back look at the world which is laden with poor people and just shut the F UP, mind my language but seriously its tiring reading this page and yet I can't stop because it's shocking there's people out there like this. Pheww I'm I'm tucked in bed not as depressed as you people, it's people like you who put the D in DEPRESSION!.....RIGHTO I've said enough Good Day'

only you can truly decide to change. not a shrink.
by: anonymous

I understand how you feel. Due to the fact that I don't know you, I probably can't help very much but I'll try my best.

First off, you should know my life isn't actually bad. not at all. I have a home, and a best friend, food, etc. But other things can mess it up. I have so many family problems it's unbelievable, everyone seems to crave drama and it drives me crazy. I really don't have freedom to even say what I think. So then I gave up and decided that I didn't care about anything any more. It ended up p***ing people off a lot. so then, I decided to just get over it, and be happy. Honestly, most people are about as happy as they decide to be. That doesn't mean you can just say "I'm going to be happy now" and everything will be great. It means you need to see the bright side of everything.

Go outside, look at the trees, mountains, sunlight, feel the warmth or coldness on your skin. look in the mirror, notice the good things about yourself. based on the picture above you look naturally beautiful so that shouldn't be too hard. (I understand if it is though, my self confidence is horrible.) Listen to music. try to stay away from the sad music. SMILE. talk to people. Go out and do things. try to socialize a lot and think about what you REALLY want to do. If you're religious, talk to god or whoever else. Pick up a hobby. try a new style, a new hair cut. change things up and go out of your comfort zone!

It's going to be hard, trust me. but after a while, if your really trying, and REALLY decide to be happy, it makes a world of difference. go on adventures! I know it sounds cheesy, but follow your heart. it's all you can do when life feels like this.

I wish I were never born
by: Anonymous

My life has always been sh*t for as far as I can remember, except a few brief moments but they never lasted long. It seems once I'm starting to feel good or think something good is going to happen I get kicked in the face again to put me back to square one feeling like sh*t. It's almost like the universe wants me to be depressed because as long as I'm depressed it stays stable sort of but once something good starts happening I get slammed by another tragedy or something.

I have no luck with people they turn on me for the simplest things especially women it's like a psychic energy that repels people and makes them act crazy no matter how good or bad you are towards them.

I never had a girlfriend in my life and I have tried. My mom is the only one in my life that really understands and I have one friend who sort of does. I think some people are made to be alone and suffer than die bad karma or something.

portland resident
by: Anonymous

Here in Portland everybody has depression. It's the social norm and everyone is on prozac from the age of 15. most likely adderal and xanax too. So people understand and are usually open to talking about it. Hope things are going better.

Rays of light that changes everything.
by: Anonymous

Sometimes I feel like I hate my life and I feel hopeless but I fear it is rubbing off on my one and only lovely child so I have had to start thinking a bit better.

Start loving the good things you have. If you got a job even if it is the worst job going, you are steps ahead of where I am right now (having been out of work for a year and counting).

The girl who said she hates living at home age 30.
I left a decent home away from my Mum to be with a guy. It worked out so bad, I still ended up on my own because he had no intention of living with me so I just paid out loads for rubbish private accommodation.

It took years for me to come to my senses. In fact I lived in bedsits with some of the most awful people for 6 years until at age 34 I had the sense to move in with family and save up a deposit for a flat. I could have done that much faster at Mum's if I had thought it through.

If you got a half decent face, body and O.Kish health then you are streets ahead of those self haters. Think about all the things you have liked, loved or enjoyed and try and get back to that. Don't bother about the person who messed with you or let you down (if you have time to dwell on them then you also have time to change your view on how your life could be a lot better).

Look at how you will meet and keep relationships with those that matter. Forget about all the times you messed up or some one messed you up. Look for the good in a person, if you can't see it then move on, and do not give up on yourself or your fellow humans, just keep looking for a little ray of light and don't underestimate it, it could be the tiny spark that changes everything.

I understand
by: Edward

Up until a year and a half ago, I had a pretty good life. Decent friends, long relationship, about to go to college.. one day, I was on my motorcycle, and a woman in the oncoming lane turned left and cut me off. That was the changing point of my life. I had a minor stroke, left arm paralyzed, can't walk well, can't drive... I'm in pain almost always which hinders anything I try to do. I wake up in the morning, and go lay on the couch and watch tv all day. Laying down seems to help a bit.

I'm stuck on heavy meds which kill me if I miss a dose by accident. Methodone, OxyContin, oxycodone and a few other narcotics. I've been literally stuck inside my house for almost 2 years.
About a week Before the accident, my parents got divorced. Then the accident. Then my girlfriend of 5 years left me. All my friends basically stopped talking to me. Recently, my grandma went to the hospital and had a triple bypass, and is taking very very long to recover.

Now, I can't do anything that requires the use of both hands. My lifelong dream and what I was planning to go to school for, before the crash, was a commercial pilot. I can't do that any more. Motorcycles were a serious passion and I've been doing it for many years.. I can't do that either. My life literally has gone down the drain. I'm now stuck living with my parents also. Although I'm almost 25 they still treat me like a teen. It really sucks.
Although I know it'll get better, it's hard to see it.
The one thing you need to remember, is that no matter how bad you have it, someone else has it worse. Also, no matter how bad, it can only go up.

You said you have very low self esteem, but one thing you should do (from your pic) is stop wearing hoods, and go out and get some sunlight because you have a very pretty face and you shouldn't hide it.

your not alone
by: Anonymous

Since I was a very small child I wanted to die everyone around me was different, happy. Me I was sad lonely within my self.

Today I'm a lot older but still feel the same way I don't think its you the wold is a horrible place to be in everyone out for themselves

I dont want to be old and alone
by: Anonymous

Guess I am not the only one with such a sh*tty life. Health has been my problem. 7 years of health issues now I am 28 and nothing to show. I am skinnier than sh*t not as attractive as I used to be. I hate being around people.

I hope this finds you well
by: Sam

I can only imagine... I come from a very similar place, yet I don't want to say I know exactly how you feel... because I don't.

I think I have a pretty good idea though. I know despair, I know guilt, worst of all... I know failure.

I know how much it hurts.

The advice I can give has already been given. You already know it by heart (and if you're anything like me, it whispers and judges daily... I also know which drugs work best to make that whisper SHUT UP... but only for a little while)

I will be sober 1 year tomorrow after drinking and doing every drug I could get my hands on for 10 years. I learned one thing in my year of sobriety...

I still have all the exact same problems I did before, I'm just sober now...

That's it... No more, no less...

I also quit smoking (because I always used cigarettes as an excuse as to why I didn't run, exercise, etc.)

Turns out, I'm just lazy.

I still don't run or exercise. Cigarettes, drinking, drugs, they had nothing to do with my REAL problems.

I don't know what will make me happy, So I'm learning to deal with what I "think" is making me sad. I'm checking them off my list, one by one. Turns out all I need to be happy is less stuff that makes me sad.

Sometimes I HATE doing some of it, (actually I hate doing it MOST of the time) but I'm getting better at it, and slowly, it's getting easier for me.

Ever feel like you have the best advise to give, but you never swallow your "own" medicine? Try following your own advice, even if it sucks. You already have the answers you're looking for.

I always do my best... It's just that some days, my best is not all that great. I know when I've been being lazy and it drives me nuts...

99 times out of 100 I would rather do my best and fail, than succeed with a half-ass effort. I sleep better knowing I did everything I could have done.

How do you know if something is truly indestructible?

The only way I know is by trying 1000 different ways to destroy it!

Make sense?

I know what you mean
by: Anonymous

I hate my life sometimes, too. I have a lot to be thankful for but I have a hard time seeing the beauty of it. I have three children, who get on my nerves all the time, its is so hard to raise a family, they take up so much time, money, I never have any money to do anything for myself, I cant even go anywhere. I have no friends. My husband is so caught up with the kids and hardly has any time left for me. I feel so alone in a house full of five of us.

I have no one to talk to, we have grown apart. My kids have in a certain way, separated us. They have taken over this house. I hate it. I go to church and sometimes read the bible, I pray too, but not even that is enough. Maybe I have to be more consistent at it. I will try that. Life is beautiful, I know it. BUT gosh, it's really hard to see the beauty of it all sometimes, when I didn't have a regular adolescent life, I grew up SOOOO fast. I never dated anyone before, I have never bought myself something nice just for me, or lived in a house that I like just for me, I have had to share everything from the beginning. Its tough..

PLEASE READ
by: Anonymous

After reading many comments I guess the most positive quote went along the lines of "people around you may seem happy now, but your time is still to come..." and people like yourselves who are feeling so much negativity shouldn't be reading so many negative comments.

I myself am not happy with my life at all, but for now I'm just going to be happy for what I do have and not bore you with all my problems, I'm so bored with everything even porn lol!!

But I do believe in God and hope life has a purpose and we are just learning from our experiences to make us better people in the future.

Love yourself xx

Just like that
by: Anonymous

I am 41 years old & divorced with a 13 year old son. I am also a Nurse. I find that about 95% of people in life are fake, scared of rejection in being who they really are. Most people are followers, deceitful, spiteful... not sympathetic nor compassionate.

Life is painful..... find meaning wherever you can & do whatever make you feel passion. Don't waste your time hoping things will change & try something new every day!

I can relate and feel for you
by: Anonymous

I don't even know when these comments here were posted but I was just surfing and happened across this page. I am 45 and been suffering from clinical depression, anxiety, bipolar and anger at every and all things. The original post sounds a lot like my experiences except for the booze and nursing school. I feel for you and wish I knew you personally to reach out to.

There is no religious or self-righteous about my comments here as I do not believe in religion anymore and cannot stand the person that I am. I myself also need compassion and understanding but people who do not suffer just cannot understand anything about this.

I find it hard to even talk about these things because it just makes me break down. I've actually never posted on a message board before but your post really hit home. I hope you can find some peace with your feelings, honestly I have not and have been trying for years. I have two young children and a wife I love very much but I feel like such a burden talking with them about it.

I know this sounds creepy and am not trying to be but you are a very beautiful girl and you should just know that you are not alone.

Mama Mary
by: Anonymous

Try invoking the aid of the Blessed Virgin Mary. She'll never fail you...God Bless.

:)
by: Anonymous

It may make you feel better to know that by you sharing your feelings so clearly you made me feel a little better. Thanks.

i hate my life too
by: Anonymous

I don't know what to tell you and I am 53. I identify with everything you've said. My life started out terrible and has remained that way. I've had a theory for about a decade now, and it's the only thing that makes sense to me. I believe this is Purgatory. It's the only thing that makes sense of all this chaos.

I'm a strong person by nature, but every time I've thought positive and tried to do great things the cosmic universe has kicked me in the teeth, and made a fool of me for being so gullible and believing that I'm worth anything.

p.s. and I am very pretty --- big fu**king deal. The joke is on me.

help me please. U are my last chance
by: Anonymous

I am 30 yrs of age. I am from Belfast and since the age of 21 I feel I have not done anything with my life yet others around me heavily disagree but they don't truly get how I feel.

At 21 I met a man who was 8 yrs older than me, after 2 months I moved in with him. My mum said don't. He gave me a job and he was my boss so i was never away from him, within a year I was under his control and my mum did everything to get me to leave him but was always unsuccessful.

Eventually he went from mental abuse to physical and I did have the strength to walk away from him, he left Belfast because of the shame and I haven't seen him since.

When he left I was promoted to his job but the owners decided to retire and closed the business down. The job was the only thing keeping me busy and stopping me from thinking about what he did to me.

A month in to unemployment I decided to do something major and I set up my own business and it is going so well but apart of me regrets it. I so enjoyed working for a friendly family and having their support, they always let me get on with things and when they promoted me it made me feel like I could achieve anything but now I work alone and I feel so lonely and always worry about accountants, legal and insurance I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew but at the same time everyone around me says I have secured some big contracts and I should be proud but when I get a contract I do think brilliant I think oh my god how will I manage this. I always find everything scary and have no confidence.

Last year I got with another guy having been single for 5 yrs, he is the complete opposite to my ex. he's kind, compassionate and would lay down his life for me, he encourages me and sometimes when I am worried about business I lash out at him by shouting.

4 months ago my mum died and I feel like I have gone full circle and all I want is someone to get me back to my confident old self before I met that man. I hate the fact I punish my new man for the actions of another man. I want my mum back the only person who knew me well enough to give me answers to all these questions.

Hi
by: Anonymous

I can relate so much. Learn to rely on yourself, not other people for happiness. No one is going to "save" you. This is not a fairytale. You are responsible for your life and happiness. I believe that you have the skills to do this and make your life better :) Hope things work out for you.

Find peace through Jesus Christ
by: Susan

Look up footprints on the computer.... God is always with us, just ask him to help you, truly believe and listen, not with your ears, but with your heart. Nursing is an excellent way to feel fulfilled. Helping others, even if it isn't nursing. Try going to church once a week, really listen to what Jesus is saying to you through the pastor. If you don't feel a connection at one particular church, try another. I've tried some churches and not had a connection. I have one that I've been going to for several years now and feel lost if I don't attend every week. I go on Sunday evening's because it's more of a relaxed atmosphere. God does not care what we wear, He just wants us to be there and listen to the message. God loves us all and wants us to be happy.

I'm happier than ever now that I go to church, read The Bible, work as an R.N.. I understand your feelings, I really do. I live with my mom and dad also, I need them, however I need God even more. Find a believer and follower of Jesus Christ to be friends with, attend church, pray for wisdom, and I assure you, you will find peace.

Trust God and be true, and see what he will do.
by: keren

A relationship experience between you and God. Not just going to church... but a relationship.

Talk to the Lord - Just talk to him, and tell him.

I've had experiences talking with the Lord, after developing a relationship with him.

Starting a prayer life will free you. Everything you've mentioned here - mention it to him.

First clear yourself any wrong doing with him, or against yourself. Ask for his forgiveness.

Then start praying about your problems. Whatever you've asked God to forgive you for, don't go back and pick it back up. Leave it.

If you continue to pick it back up, ask for forgiveness, or you will be separated from God.

We have an advocate with the Lord. He is our advocate. If you were the only one on this planet, he would have come down and died on the cross for only you. He loves you unconditionally.

Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord; even when you don't feel like it, talk to him. Have faith he has heard you. He will start to enlighten you.

Love,
Keren

sadness
by: Rhu

I'm almost fifty and still find myself sitting alone every nite. My childhood was horrible and now its catching up with me. I have a lot of nice material things and most of my friends say I have it good.

Everyone I know is married, I've done the dating sites and I'm either too old or not young enough .. I'm so afraid I'll be alone forever if i don't find some way to change this'
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. Rhu

courage
by: Bostonian

Courage is the word I think of after reading your thoughts. More people in this world can relate to what you are going through than you realize, they don't have as much courage as yourself to be able to put your feelings out publicly. You are the strong one. I will pray for you; you are a good true soul. Also seems you have lots of people caring for you; I wish I had that myself.

Silver lining
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you're all going through, I feel helpless and so depressed. Half of my family is dead. I was abused when I was young and I'm in my mid 30's and not even married!

The only thing that brings me peace for 5 minutes is knowing that we are all going to die (well I am) I don't want others to die ... well unless they want to.

Anyway here is some advice from the Quran on tragedies and tribulations that brings me relief from time to time.

?Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ?We believe?, and that they will not be put to the test?? (Quran 29:2)

?Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ?We believe?, and that they will not be put to the test? And certainly We tested those before them, so that God will differentiate those who are true from those who are false.? (Quran 29:2-3)

?And We shall certainly test you, until We know those of you who strive their utmost (for Allah) and who are the steadfast; and We shall test your reported mettle.? (Quran 47:31)

?Or do you expect to enter Paradise without facing such trials as did those before you?? (Quran 2:214)

?We will surely test you with something of fear and huger, and the loss of wealth and lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say?when afflicted with calamity??To Allah We belong, and to Him we shall return!? They are on those whom descend blessings from their Lord, and Mercy. Such are the rightly guided.? (Quran 2:155-157)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHLh4HvyuLw

come to Jesus
by: Anonymous

Come to Jesus. He is the key to your happiness. I know how you are feeling. You try to be grateful for the things you have but you feel so miserable that it is hard to. Try talking to God and find a good church that you feel in your heart is the right place to be. Also when you give to the Lord, He gives back. You give to the Lord by giving to others in need and then watch how He blesses you. I have experienced it myself. Just hang in there and pray. You sound like a very talented and beautiful person =)

There Is Hope
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what you are describing. I have been through some terrible things myself. I was abused as a child for many years in many ways. I still carry those scars, and even though I am beginning to move on to a normal life, I still cry myself to sleep sometimes.

The thing that is inspiring me to press on is my faith in God. I never believed in Jesus and quite frankly hated Him until only a few years back. I had always seen Him as a tyrant and the cause of my suffering, but one day I was at the end of my rope, ready to commit suicide. My last resort was this book I had been given about this gang member that had found hope and a new life in Jesus. It's called Run Baby Run by Nicky Cruz. I decided, What the heck, and read some of it. I was hooked. The God Cruz wrote about was loving and kind and gave him a future, even after all the things that happened to him in the gangs of New York. I began to search for this God, and I eventually gave my life to Jesus. Even so, it is still incredibly hard to face life sometimes, but slowly I am making it with Jesus. I know you face many trials in life, but turn to Him..... He's your only hope, as He was to me.

:)
by: Jayk

Grab some money and make a trip to Africa. Specifically Ghana.(ignore the b.s and silly way they paint Africa in the news like one big land of hungry kids and wild animals roaming). Over here there is no judgement of character and everyone is open to everyone!... don't worry about money, foreign exchange will work on your plus side and you can afford a lot of things... think about it :)

Also pick up a Bible and just read it(no expectations no pressure, just read it..

jesus christ is the answer.
by: Anonymous

(I was in the same boat that you are) but Jesus gave me hope and I know he really loves me in spite of my many flaws. Start a relationship with Jesus Christ, ask him to come into your heart and fix what is wrong with your feelings. Pray often. Read the scriptures and ask him to reveal the meaning of them and to ask for security (help) for your needs. Jesus loves you very much more than we will ever know.

life style
by: Rigo anthony perez

Everything you just said, is exactly how I feel or been through.
Except I just turned 20 and I've been on and off
with weed crystal ecstasy and alcohol, I have always been giving my self a hard time after them drugs. I love to skateboard but when I mess around with my old habits its like from 16 to now I keep doing the same sh*t and I really need someone to keep motivating me, but I hate the fact that I even have to have someone help me. I'm 20 and I can take care of myself, thing is I hate staying with my mom and her new husband. He aint even a good step father, and hes dragging my mom down with him.
He is also trying to get my out the house by saying mean stuff to my mom about me that makes my mom weird to me. Its just frustrating, I was going to run away today but then I kept talking to my home girl and shes into church an stuff but still I wanna show myself that I can get a good job and my own place and take care of myself. I hate living under some else's roof even though its my mom and her husband, things just are not the same as when I was under 16.

same here!!!
by: carolyn

I completely relate

Some thoughts..
by: Kenneth

It seems to me you have analyzed your life extremely well and know exactly what it is you're looking for. Although I cannot completely relate, I believe it is true that most of the people who have commented on this page have at some time or another felt the exact same feelings you have expressed previously. And the fact that they cared enough to want to share their stories with you should give you hope.

Simply hope that the people who live around you have the capability to be the most warm and compassionate individuals you or I have ever known, if they so choose. Nobody really knows how we got here, but we do all know that love conquers hatred in all avenues of life ( if people let it). So that's a little bit of what I think, as far as advice I can't offer much since I know nothing compared to the vastness of the Universe.

Personally, all the life changes I want to make and the way I see myself being ultimately happy lies in the hands of God. I know that's not really the "thing" anymore in society, but that relationship still means more than anything to a lot of people. I don't know if you're religious, but that's where I find peace in life. Think about it, maybe do a little reading on the life of Jesus or what some philosophers think. All it takes is one brief moment of divine inspiration to change the way you think forever.

Feelings...
by: Kriss

Hey, it's OKAY to feel the way you do, you have a right to FEEL the way you do. Feelings are feelings, they're neither right nor wrong they just are.

Feelings are POWERFUL, far more powerful than knowledge or intellect, you CAN'T rationalise away feelings, they are necessary, they serve a function - ACCEPT them and FEEL them, positive and negative alike, don't act on them, listen to them carefully. They CHANGE, they are a temporary state, they are not who you are, they are how you feel.

If the people around you or the situation you are in make you feel bad, then listen to your feelings - they are telling you that this situation/person/people aren't good for you. You don't need to have an explanation. If you stick your hand in a fire you feel physically induced pain which evokes you to move away from the source of harm, you don't need to think of a reason. Emotionally evoked feelings serve the same purpose, we just need to start listening to what they are telling us, embrace them they are our well wishers, our navigators through life an indicator to reassess the situation and make changes

Please smile :)
by: Anonymous

Hey, just read this and you sound so negative about life... The key is to think forward not backwards at your past - but to move on and be positive ... Set yourself some future goals to achieve and start smiling... Look at the good things in your life ... For one you have parents :) I haven't but what keeps me going is positive thoughts/future dreams and goals. Of course their words of wisdom too :)
You have a similar life story to me, but hey that's the past - the future your in control of so smile :)

im depressed just by reading all your comments!!
by: Anonymous

people people people.. you guys all all so depressing...

get it together.... law of attraction!! the secret... it can save you life!!!

do it!! now!!

i understand
by: anonymous

I understand how you feel. I think we've all been there in one way or another. Life's a bitch sometimes, but you have to understand that and also that others go through it too in their own way. I also think that some people are mentally able to let things go and not be affected better than others.

What is wrong!
by: Anonymous

For me it is a deep seated low self esteem, as far back as I can remember. I have over compensated by trying to learn more than most people. In fact many people describe me as smart, I think that I only have spent more time to learn more about many different things than most people so I have a broader perspective, I am no smarter than any one else. I am in my late 50's I left self employment twenty years ago, naively thinking that I could make my way in corporate America. In those 20 years I have had ten jobs, I was fired through work force reductions, laid off or they closed the business. I only quit one job in all of that time. The impact of so many jobs has left me feeling worthless and soon I will be penniless. I lost the best job I ever had (my dream job) and the job that I was respected at and performed to the highest standards measured by my peers, subordinates and supervisors. The parent company closed all service locations in the US, the funny thing about that decision is that most locations were making money. They did not try to sell any of the 25 locations they just wanted to close all of them since it no longer fit with their "CORE BUSINESS PLAN". Did not matter to the few overpaid , unimaginative, self professed leaders they were terminating 400 people in the worst economic downturn in history.

So here I sit, I can't find work, my wife cries every day and I can not be the succesful role model for my teenage son. He is watching his father slowly losing control of his life. My self esteem issues have risen to the surface and I am crumbling!!!

I know that other people in the world have it far worse than I do, I DO NOT CARE! I care only about me and my family!! I have lost my faith in God and in people. I do not what is wrong with me or the world other than people really do not care!

Lost hope!

THE SECRET!!! WILL HELP ALL OF U!!
by: Anonymous

I am probably sure you guys all have heard of the secret? "law of attraction" if not you need to do it and follow it asap. I was like one of you guys in really bad state and i started following it and it changed my perspective and the way i see life.

Try it you have nothing to lose::: TRUST ME!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cMibxi5gqE

http://thesecret.tv/stories/stories-read.html?id=15860

http://www.youtube.com/user/asecretagent?blend=1&ob=4

My thoughts
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry that you feel this way. Life and people are complicated. I have experienced devastating losses this past year, in addition to an already long list of tragedies in my life, and sometimes feel like there is no point. However, I realize that the good and bad times fluctuate in life for everyone, whether people admit it to others or not. And some people have it harder, which is a fact of life.

Most people are totally self-absorbed with their own crap, which is okay. My suggestion to you is make you your only priority until you feel better. Do whatever it takes to make you happy. LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Tune out everyone else for a while, until YOU are happy. Live your life for you. Do what you want to do, even if it means moving away.

Once you feel better and healthier, your outlook will slowly change and so will your life. One last thought, exercise is a powerful drug. If you aren?t doing this already on a daily basis, I highly recommend it. All the best to you.

i understand
by: Anonymous

I know, my life went upside down........... people say things about me which are not true and now everyone hates me and then I feel that I need someone to talk to someone who really understands me. A friend who sticks by you and wont turn their back on, but you no what leave all those emotions to one side and do something good and fun for yourselves this will slightly make you stop the sadness.

dont give up
by: Anonymous

I feel the same way as you, but I never give up. It's hard when there seems like no one is there but you're never alone. Don't give up my friend, one day it's going to get better, trust yourself because you're unique in your own way. Don't ever give up!!!!!

I understand completely.
by: Anonymous

I wouldn't know where to begin. But if anyone knows how to make this change, please let me know. I also feel alone most of the time.

I can relate to how you feel
by: Ariyo

I have the same feelings especially about not feeling appreciated by family, and the south is really not the best place to grow. Something in this atmosphere is not conducive to the growth of our types. Even though we are spoiled by the mild winters we can survive in northern climates like everyone else.

I think we should both reconsider finding someplace in the northern hemisphere. Not so sure about the west. The west is such a different strange blank place. I also think that it is best if you and I live near salt water or someplace with large bodies or flowing waters. I first came to this site because I had no one to call on the phone. when I do try to reach out to someone they put me on hold or I can just tell they are not feeling my pain. I feel I have no one.

We have got to pull out of this slump and find what makes us tick. I sometimes feel I should just go far away from family (like) out of the country and be unavailable to them, even my 2 grown kids. Then see if they appreciate me after I am gone (not dead though). The only thing that keeps me stuck in the south is having dogs. Its hard to just give them up. Its going to get better for the both of us. I will keep giving suggestions. One thing I want to do is to land this factory job. Its an hour away, but I want to have a reason to be unavailable to my family who could care less about me until they need something. I want the factory job because I really don't want a job where I have to deal with so many personalities, attitudes and competition. I just want to do my duties and leave the job at the job.

I will make mild friendships with co-workers during lunch and break time or company picnics. We have to have a purpose, be needed and not have idle time or it gets really depressing for us. Work real hard on it til you have enough money to make a real move to a new environment and way of living. Okay Ok!

You'll make it
by: Anonymous

Your life is not as bad ad you think. Two years ago my mom died two weeks before I got married. I became ill. Then I had to move in to my husbands family home where his drug using brother lives. He says all kinds of things to my kids. I hate him.

Then yesterday I missed out on my state board test. I was just too upset to take them. So now I have to retake them: meanwhile I'm in a house I hate with some one I hate more. Who has it better me or you. And I'm still praying and Hoping that God answers my prayers.

With that said don't give up. Might not be our time yet but it is soon to come

My life
by: Ella atherton

My 2 best fiends are so much better than me.. Beth and Sammi, I love them more that any boy but they're straight so they will never love me... FOREVER ALONE
why will no one love me...?
LOVE ME?
please..
I hate my life.

Hugs
by: Anonymous

I just want to give you all a big hug and say it's going to be alright, keep holding on. I don't have many friends, but your comments made me want to be friends with all of you :)

strength comes from within not from religion or any other system
by: Anonymous

I will give you my 2 cents which may or may not mean something in what you are going through. I am 24 with 2 degrees and 1 more step away from achieving a dream that I had since I was 9.

I have the greatest girlfriend in the world who is my first (for 5 year we are together) and the greatest support system of friends and family you can ask for. I was able to achieve this without the use of any gods, goddesses, messiahs or whatever people are calling their deities these days.

I used to believe that those things can give me strength or Jesus will make it all better. Luckily I grew up intellectually and threw away those illusions. I now live my life based on MY own philosophies and MY own dreams and aspirations.

What you need to understand is that the tragedies, the failures the feelings of dejection are PART of the human condition but it is when we dwell on those things that we run the risk of it consuming us. You need to re-craft your entire life which begins by eliminating negative influences and depending less on friends and more on yourself. You need to gain an ego, while some may disagree, egoism can be a good thing because it lights a fire inside you that just keeps growing every time you feed it with a good thing (such as scoring high on an exam or getting something done on time). As time goes by the flame grows larger engulfing sadness whenever it drops by to make your life unbearable.

When you realize that your entire life can be made better or worse by yourself and you alone control your direction in life it is then you will feel the need to get up, say enough is enough and get working on changing....

its not what you think
by: Anonymous guy

Hi everyone! I am not sure how old this blog is or if anyone will ever read what I write, but here it goes.

I have read many of the comments left here along with this young lady's blog. You all feel the way you do because you think differently about the world than the average person. Most people are worker drones who do as told and follow the prevalent thought of the time in which they live.

To keep this as short as possible, you see the need for life to have purpose beyond the mundane. purpose is a very tricky word for a human being. You must understand life has NO purpose. again life has no purpose. sounds bad but there is an answer, and no its not Jesus.(lol) You create your own purpose for YOUR life! Then you find happiness! So try and discover what will make you happy. for some it is a belief in God or Jesus. For others its finding the cure for cancer and so on.

Find your passion for life whatever that may be and don't worry what others may think or even society. just follow your purpose and you will be happy! Life is not a cookie cutter experience, one size does not fit all.

I understand
by: Anonymous

I empathize with your situation and can sense your feelings of alienation. My story sounds very similar. You have to give yourself more credit though, the fact that you have put yourself out there in the world and have the desire to, is what is key to your own happiness.

This is a stupid question but.. are you a Gemini?

Googled searched
by: Don from jersey

I Googled I hate my life and here I am. I guess I don't feel so alone, which in reality I am. I'm 46 been working at the same mind numbing dead end job for 13 years. I never been married, suffer from Social Anxiety disorder and Depression. I've taken just about every medication they prescribe.

The one thing I know I'm good at is photography. I went to school and earned a degree in Commercial photography. When I show my portfolio to others they can't believe I'm not pursuing it as my life's work. But you see that's were years of severe anxiety, low self esteem and depression takes hold. I'm very very insecure around people, I get nervous in groups. All my friends have moved on, tired of my excuses. So I live my life in a very controlled small world. Im afraid to try anything new for fear of failure and embarrassment.

My girlfriend of 8 years passed away in 2010 from a blood infection, she was on dialysis for a year after her kidneys failed. We met online and started a dialogue, we eventually met, dated and moved in together. I miss her so much. All we had was each other, and she was the most beautiful caring person I ever knew. We shared a life together, and now without her I'm lost. She completely understood me and encouraged me to get help. I just want to hold her again, to talk to her. I'm so so lost. I hate myself.

I'm sorry for going on. I hope someone will read my post. I don't know what you will get from it. However if your young its not to late to change. Don't wait!!! Don't let your life slip away, because it will sooner than you think.

my life
by: jacob

I am 19, everything I do seems to be wrong, most of my family don't like me anymore. I just want to make something of myself and help give everyone around me a better life but I can't. I feel like I am alone and have no one, I hate my life so bad I just don't know what to do any more.

my life
by: jacob

I am 19, everything I do seems to be wrong, most of my family don't like me anymore. I just want to make something of my self and help give everyone around me a better life but I can't, I feel like I am alone and have no one, I hate my life so bad I just don't know what to do anymore.

My colleague hates his life...
by: Nicky Mehta

My colleague tells me everyday he hates his life and he wants to kill himself. I really don't know what to do or how to help him.

Please give me some advice so I can help my friend.

What vision do you see in the mirror
by: Anonymous

I can feel your pain in your words. Your sincerity is your key to salvation. People who attempt to fool themselves can never overcome their pain.

I want to share a story. Not too long ago, I was over 240 lbs. I dropped down to 161 lbs. No "special" diets, Miami this or that. I did it myself, and I did it the old fashion way. I burned more calories than I consumed. Simple? Yes, but not easy.

The one thing that helped me most was this: I had a vision of myself, that I saw everyday when I looked in the mirror. When I dropped to 180....I saw a fat man. When I dropped to 170....I saw a big belly. During a board meeting, the Chairman of my company looked at me and said, "put some weight on...you look sick!" That's how others saw me....too skinny. As for me, I was too fat.

The vision in your mind is the one that drives you to success or failure. What do you see? As was the case with me, how others saw me was not consistent with how I saw myself. The internal voice is the only one that matters, because that's the one that gets me up at 5am to exercise for 1 hour; gets me away from the dinner table before the desert is distributed, and gets me back in the gym at night for 1 more hour of workout...

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

25
by: Anonymous

I'm 25, have a great job, happily married, house, dog, car and family. The difference between you and me? Jesus. Get in a good church that preaches Christ is the way. Then form an intimate relationship with him and he'll guide you. You'll find that purpose you're all searching for.

I hate my life
by: Anonymous

Growing up I've been teased and made fun of all the time...... I mean I know that there are people out there who have gone through worse and who are going through more difficult situations and not complaining...... but everyone is different and we handle our issues differently.

I have really bad skin(on my legs).... mosquitoes and sand flies took advantage growing up and yes itched them.... but my parents didn't teach me not to... instead tried to get rid of the scars after they were made which is very difficult...... I live in the Caribbean and I always have to cover up with long jeans because I am embarrassed about my legs. All the d ark spots all over.. I can't even go to the beach...the one thing everyone my age enjoy doing..... I stay home doing nothing when I'm not at school because I don't know what to do for fun .... I make excuses whenever my friends have to go out because it's usually always the beach or pool party or some sleepover ... I give boys a hard time because I don't want anyone to be ashamed of me. I'm not very rich ... i can't laser treatment or those procedures to help me put...... I've used all types of cocoa butter and soaps.... I'm hopeless!

How Does It Improve?
by: AnonymouslyBitchy

I hate my job, but I feel stuck in an industry because my city is so recessed. My family and I have no connection anymore. I gave up on them 1 1/2 years ago. My mother's bipolar disorder finally won control. Had to walk away. Have no connection with my biological dad...never knew him thanks to the bipolar slut mother. In and out of relationships because I never seem to end up with anyone who wants to commit. I guess like attracts like.

My current boyfriend is 15 years older with a divorce and 4 adult kids under his belt. He is a mess with baggage and issues... I tried to make this relationship something it wasn't and surprise... it is failing.

The only thing I feel I have going is the fact that I can control my drinking and drug use. At 34, I finally am ok with being me. Just wish it was a better me.

Why so serious
by: Anonymous

I'm so annoyed with everything in life at the moment, sometimes I have great days and sometimes nothing seems to add up. Its like why the hell am I trying so hard, I honestly don't think I'm going to really get anywhere in life.

I'm wasting my time in school, I shouldn't be as emotionally invested in a relationship I've been in for three years, but always feel like something better will come along. I have all this built up aggression in me, and I'm so ready to snap at anyone who crosses my path.

I am pushing my family away because of my strong and aggressive attitude. I'm a bitch and I know it. I feel bad for anyone who has interest in me. I feel bad for my boyfriend who is thinks maybe I'm going to change. I feel bad for my family especially because they have to deal with me. I never wanted to disappoint them, but now I don't really think I care.

I want to get away from here and start my life all over. But everything I do is in the middle.. and I don't want to leave without any closure... I feel pretty lost, but hopefully things will come together and I will see better days.

Limbo
by: Sincere

Age 19 going to 20. No job, no girlfriend, no degree, can't drive, no ambition, drowning in my own depression. No plans in life, no one to feed me hope and dreams. Ask for death and it doesn't come. Till then....

idea
by: mysterious

I read the post and all the comments on it and i feel that all these people who are telling bits of their lives are also telling mine, beginning from the person who started this post ending to the last one before me.

I wish that all of us can just meet or chat in one big circle or different circles because I can feel that we have same worries and problems in life.

What a waste of life
by: Anonymous j

I'm 28 back at my parents house. I'm recently separated with one kid who I can barely buy stuff for.

Me and my wife separated because I can't trust her and she did some shady stuff to me probably even slept behind my back but I got no proof.

She's a good woman but just lacks the respect and calmness that I deserve. She stayed with our apt and I decided to come stay at my parents where I now sleep in the closet of their room which is embarrassing as hell. My parents are very good parents but my dad has made really bad financial decisions and he is always struggling to make ends meet. He is 68 and still works a physical job and he barely has anything to show for it.

I feel horrible for him but at least he stays in a good mood. My moms helps because she always has his back. I have been let go from my last 3 jobs because my job sucks. I'm a Pharmacy tech, there's no future in that job a lot of old techs I work with tell me this. I don't know what I want to do with my life. All I want is a steady job to provide and help my family out with. I don't have big dreams I just want to have enough to be happy.

I am antisocial and have a hard time meeting new friends. A lot of people annoy me and the ones that I'm cool with I don't know what to talk to them about. I need to find a better paying job even if I hate it. I rather eat sh*t and have money than to be broke and not be able to provide for my son and give some money to people around me that I can help.

I'm not a bad person I'm just misunderstood most people tell me I act depressed or like a loser but I'm not I just don't have a lot of interests in life not meaning I'm gonna cut my life short or anything.

Sometimes I feel I wish I could give my soul to someone who would really make life more useful than I have. I don't know what's going to happen all I know is I need to get out of my
parents house and get my own place because the way things are going are making me sad frustrated mad lack of energy and disgusted at what a loser I am.

I know I deserve and can do better than this. I want to raise my son to be way better than me and give him all he deserves I don't ever want him to struggle in life like me.

Help me find my self
by: Lonely soul

I never knew life could be so boring dull and lonely and complicating... I have three beautiful kids and a dead beat father who is so selfish always worried about his looks and never cares about any one else unless he is reminded .... he has two other kids that he hardly gets to see,,, one little girl from one mother and a boy from another.

We have two girls and my oldest is from another relationship.. We were having an ok relationship as a family now that his 7 yr old son wants to come back in the picture. Now my fiancee is acting like a dog to my daughter and to me as well just recently after 5 years I gave him permission to discipline my daughter with spankings now that his son is coming back I told him I was going to be also authorized to discipline him as well if he got completely out of line and he said no I wasn't. That sparked up another fight ... If he can discipline my 9 yr old I can discipline his too. He is wrong and I honestly I think I don't love my fiancee the same .. all of this fighting turns into hate I rather be by myself ..

With him I'm insecure getting fat and feeling lonely ... I want to work and have money .... God please give me strength when I fall, to wipe my self off and keep going....

Bullied at work
by: Debbie

I hate my life... I feel worthless as I am being bullied at work.

I have no-one to talk to, I feel very very low.

I am sick of life.
by: King Arthur

In life we are all created equal and we are all given two gifts; Free will, and entitlement to opinions about everything. Well guess what. In my personal opinion life is sh*t.

Working hard, crying, being stressed out, being selfless, loving, and caring towards others and not getting sh*t back. I'm 17 and I have thought about/tried to kill myself several times. Honestly, there is no motivation. There is no hope. You will die, and so will I. That's all their is to it. Life = the growth of a baby into an adult, then the slow decay of LIFE.

Some say I have a good life...
by: Anonymous

I am a 17 year old guy in Junior year in high school. I have a nice car and house, a decent girlfriend, and in the higher popularity range.

Many people tell me to be happy my life is "good". Not at all. I constantly wish I was dead. I have bad grades and not great looks. I have a lot of minor health issues like constant extremely high blood pressure and pulse. And lots of heart problems, But I'm in great shape. I have always had an issue with plain old wishing I didn't exist, but recently everything has fallen almost all at once.

I got cut from my school sports team, Made last chair in music class, fired from my job, my dad contracted cancer, just after getting laid off. Many still say I should be happy but I'm simply not. I think it may be worse to be extremely depressed when you should be living the so called "good life".

I constantly wish i could trade places with someone in a unfortunate country so they could enjoy life. My religion bounds me to life itself, knowing what would happen if I did end it prevents it all together. I cant find any bright side to anything. Sadly I'm forced to press on and see how my life is in a few years.

KEEP LIVING!!!
by: Kelsey

I was feeling very down, so I typed in Google that I hate my life. This was my result, but after reading a few of the comments it really opened my eyes that there are so many unhappy persons. Then I started thinking about my situation. I am 34 years old, I have been trying for the last 3 years with my husband to conceive our first child. We have done so many tests & procedures and after trying & hoping so long it just seems so hopeless. Thinking about it, in every other aspect of me life is fine. I just really want to be a mom. But at the end of the day I can do so much and no more. So I have decided to live my life to the fullest & not allow this to mess up my whole life.

It is hard and from what I read everyone has something that they are struggling with. So we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves. My new motto is KEEP LIVING! There are many times that I am so stressed that I wonder if it's worth it, but all we have to do is KEEP LIVING! Things will change! Everything is for a reason!

I hate my life too!
by: Step

I feel the same. never thought i would be in this position. I am 52. When i got married at 26 my husband had a great job as a foreign exchange trader. Made fantastic money and we did save some of it. Never really lived above our means but didn't save as much as we should have. 15 years later he lost his job (has no pension only 401K)and decided he didn't want to work a real job anymore and now he trades stocks on the internet. Doesn't make much profit from that. Now i have been working for an attorney for 13 years with no prospects of anything better. Low pay and no health benefits and i have to do this until i am 62. Ever night i pray to Jesus that he will help me feel better and at peace. at least i am pretty healthy.

i hate my life
by: roarsome

Im struck in a school full of idiots who only seem to want to physical and mentally injure others and do not care about the future because they claim they will just go in the army instead of getting good grades and caring about their future. They believe they will get on just fine in the future but lets just wait and see.

i hate my life because
by: Anonymous

No one loves me, my family status is not good neither. The one I loved was never loyal, it took 7 years to understand this fact. I always feel every second I am alive is a punishment to me and to people around me they are tensed, unhappy, stressed because of me I wish to die but its not good to kill our own self.

Destruction
by: Patick gallagher

There is so many of us out there who share, the feeling of hate, sadness and depression. Why us? We ask ourselves. Why do we suffer when all others are happy. We think maybe were born this way, or that life is just pointless to us. No one knows why life is so hurtful to us. They do not love us as they love are brothers and sisters. We are all together, all we have is each other, we all share the pain. In our own way. I love each and every one of you. And we will destroy our pain in destruction.

I hate my life
by: Anonymous

i feel like no matter what i do all i do is make mistakes, i hurt so much inside but i try to keep it hiding but its so hard my family don't care and makes me feel like i never should have been born, i just wanna do something great something someone can be proud of but instead im turned away and hurt and dismissed. i have so much love but i feel like everyone i love is gonna leave me, the either just die or just leave.. i dont know if im crazy but im so hurt inside and for some reason my tears and experience make me stronger but still tear me apart.

Life is rought; sometimes I hate it.
by: Anonymous

I am 30 years old with two children. A one and a two year old. I love them both dearly. I have a great husband. Although; he had a friend who has a family and he lost his job. They, the friend, the wife and the two children and the wife's sister all live in my house. This was not by my choice. My husband works nights and I work days; we never see each other. And when we do we are arguing because he only wants to spend time with the friend, the friend's wife and the wife.

He never wants to spend alone time anymore. I feel like I have lost control of my own home. I love my husband so much and am afraid that I am losing him. I am afraid that at some point we will separate and that it will hurt the kids a lot. I wish that he would sometimes think about my feelings.

I do matter you know. I have to take care of everything and do everything and all I ask for is for a little bit of time. He gets so mad anytime that I ask him for some time with me. It's like I do not matter to him anymore. But he can sure spend his time with all of these people in our home that he brought them into our home without an issue.

I feel like these two other women have invaded my life. They are always with my children and my husband. It's like they have replaced me. There is no reason for me to be here. I feel hopeless. I feel like I have lost control of everything.

Sometimes I get off work and I do not even want to come home. The only thing that makes me get to home are my children. For the first time I feel miserable and I am so angry about it because I always felt so happy till these people moved in. When I tell my husband how I feel he thinks I am just being mean. These people have lived in my house for five months and none of them work. There are three adults and none of them work. My husband and I take care of everything. I just do not understand why he needs other people all the time around him to make him feel good. I am not enough for him inside of our home. I can't seem to stop crying. I am crying all the time. He does not know because he is always at work. I do not know what to do anymore. Sometimes I just want to disappear.

Spiritual Hope
by: Anonymous

'When the world beats you down to your knees, your in the perfect position to pray...'
That says it all. There is a lot of peace in religion, especially in the one I practice. It makes me feel good in every way when I practice it. God tells me in my religion how to live and interact with people in a good way that is beneficial to both me and the people I interact with. My religion has solutions to many real life problems.

All you have to do is some research from the right sources. You will find spiritual peace through the way of life God prefers us to live. A few simple characteristics that my religion promotes one to practice, that will greatly affect and improve quality of life are;

'Always seek for knowledge.' Education and self improvements are some of the best ways to make yourself a more interesting person to other people.

There are many common obvious ones but it's really the effort you put in to practice them. I personally enjoy practicing and improving my relationship with God. If you find faith, you will most definitely enjoy this practice. A feeling of peace. You will get along great with other religious people who love to keep a brother happy.

Visit a mosque, or a church some day and ask questions about their beliefs and practices, way of life and philosophy. Make sure the source is 'trustable' and 'reliable.' Muslims and Christians love to see a person showing interest in their way of life and introduce it to you. If you get to know more about religious ways of life, decide whether it appeals to you. Give it a shot, many people who's life just don't seem to work on this world, seek religion as their guidance to a better life.

Hate my life
by: Anonymous

I hate my life too....it just seems like my husband doesn't understand me anymore ... he always has to be right and it is always my fault. I'm very lonely and he doesn't understand why... he thinks that even though he is in the house that .... that should be go enough for me. I'm starting to hate him ... I'm not sure what to do?

Stuck
by: Anonymous

I truly am lost in a world that I can't quite figure out. I'm always a step behind and making the wrong decisions I later regret. I often stay up late at night replaying every event of the day in true despair.

I no longer can look at myself in the mirror. It represents broken dreams and loss of self worth. My job is a pit of despair and any aspirations I may have flicker like a light bulb on its way out. I often wonder why it seems that I can't get a break. I realize my situation isn't the worse out there; however, it doesn't seem to be enough.

I've overcome so many things: drinking, drugs, financial crisis, and panic attacks. With all these victories I'm still stuck dragging my feet in the mud. I stumbled across this site and felt like sharing.

To I hate my life and feel hopeless
by: Anonymous

I have had the feelings that I hate my life and feel hopeless I think for the most part, it is what is being dwelled on. Right now, I recently lost my mom My mom had the philosophy to make the best out of each day. It's a good philosophy. I know for me, I need to find more to do. I am looking into schooling to help others, but my problem is funding. My husband makes good money; but we have a lot of debt, so in the meantime, I just keep reading online of things I can do.

I am a writer of poetry and vent much emotion in this way. Writing is a wonderful way to vent feelings. I try to find beautiful things in life, like starlit skies and sunsets. Sometimes it takes more work to be positive. I envy people that never had to work at attitude. Prayer is good, too.

GOD cant help me or you
by: Anonymous

Hell is on earth.. we're living it. I would never get married, I would never be happy, I would never have money. Nothing will ever be good for me. GOD doesn't exist, if he did why was I molested .. as a baby, up until I was 13? Surely god would protect children, eh? no one can explain that! AND he died folks! It was a public display, i.e, cross. but lets not forget that the devil never died. He's still alive and creating havoc on us humans. there is no one to "save" us. Only money can help you live this horrible miserable of an existance.

why cant I just die and let normal people live
by: Anonymous

I hate my life because I have no money, I have 2 children. My youngest birthday is tomorrow and I don't have anything or any money to help him celebrate. Ive made some very horrible mistakes. I stopped paying rent at one point, and now I have an eviction on my record. I did manage to buy a nice car, but I let my brother use it majority of the time, and now its towed from outstanding tickets. I have a job, but no money to make it there everyday. I cant eat everyday, because I don't have money to eat lunch. And Ive lost a ton of weight, in which I was under weight to begin with. I have horrible anxiety and I contemplate suicide all the time. The only reason I haven't really done it is because of my son. He's only 3. If I had money, my life would be a whole whole whole lot easier. I NEED MONEY desperately! and GOD cant help me, he was never able to help me, not even when I was a child being molested. GOD must hate me as much as I hate myself
figures

Whats the point?
by: No more love in the world

No ambition, no true friends, no real loved ones, no point really. After years of trying I find it hard to try anymore.

Social anxiety from years of betrayal from people I thought I could count on. Relationships ha what is the definition anymore? Someone you can come home and find cheated on you countless times and then lied right to your face over and over. Is there no love in the world, respect, or honor?

Ive tried my best to find my path in life and it only ever leads to a dead end. Tried to find happiness and when I think I found it BOOM blows up in my face. My last so called love I helped in so many ways and just got stuck in the back. For some reason the women I'm attracted to whether by looks personality etc are the ones that seem to be the worst.

Drugs seem like the only outlet for me to get rid of all this pain and sadness. I'll be 30 in less then a year and have nothing to show for my life. Almost had a son but 5 months into the pregnancy ex went and got an abortion even though she wanted the baby. Not certain but don't think it was mine now. That boy would have gave me a purpose *tearing up*. Ive attempted the unforgivable but couldn't do it. Just want to be loved like I love. IF THIS IS LIFE THEN I SAY F*** LIFE!!!!!!! To all the people that feel somewhat the way I do, I feel for you and you're not the only ones. No point in trying when you always fail.

I hate my life!!!!
by: Zac Phillips

I hate my life it's so annoying, my mum and dad are always arguing and I'm always getting in to trouble over my friends. I hate it it's gay I just hate it hate, hate, hate, hate it.

Don't Worry!!
by: Anonymous

You're life is getting better....Think about your first love....Think for 10 seconds exact......Splash you're face with cold water......Say to you're self "Life Is Amazing!!"
3 times.....Say you're first loves name...(This CAN be relatives if you want!!).....You're life IS getting better!!

Nitashaa

Sad to say..
by: Holly

Its sad to say I know just how you feel..
I could go on for hours about how f***ked up my life is. I walk around with a smile on my face... If they only knew how I really felt inside.. But they would have to care to really see the truth. People let you down.. They cant see past themselves. No matter how much I do for others my needs are always over looked. I don't even enjoy the little things in life anymore. I act like everything is ok and like I'm fine.. I do this because I think it would hurt more if I let them see/know how I really feel & they still overlook how I feel. Been there done that too many times.
I feel like there's no end to my sadness..
I can't recall a time in my 29 years where I didn't feel like this. I'm a stay at home wife/mom. I lost my first husband to cancer... That was a very hard 3 years dealing with him being sick.. He wasn't a very nice guy to start with. After his passing I got remarried and its falling apart.. I'm lost.. I'm more lonely than I have ever been.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I didn't finish school. I have never had a real job. I cant drive.. I feel like I have nothing to offer myself much less anyone else in my life.
I don't understand why my husband even stays with me. We don't really talk. He is always at work. We don't have sex nor do we even sleep in the same bed most nights.. I feel like I have a roommate that never picks up after himself..
I went off on him tonight. I miss feeling loved, wanted & pretty. I wanted to just talk with him tonight.. But like always the TV won over me..
How can I love someone so much when they don't seem to ever love me back!? Saying "I LOVE YOU" is nothing... Showing it is everything... Not sure I would know Love if I saw it......

Help others
by: Anonymous

The key to fighting depression is to help someone else.
This is true and I have experienced it. The hardest part is getting off my butt to find someone to help. After I do that my depression is gone.

i am stuck
by: Anonymous

I am 25 and I was in gambling for last three years and today I am totally helpless and lonely, because no one wants to be friends with me and I have one disease which has no cure... I am the worst man in this world, I am the worst son, friend and brother.

I work really hard but there are lots of people who are better than me and I can not compete with them.. Today I feel totally helpless and stuck. All of my other friends are well settled and married and happily living with their families and I still regret on the day I first went for gambling and now I am totally shattered, very demoralized and once I tried to end my life by taking poison but I couldn't do that because I thought that my family will suffer this most,, I am in love with a girl from 11 years and still she doesn't even like me, I don't know that what to do in this condition..

_________________________________________________

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop all the negative self talk. These thoughts make you the way you are. Change them to positive, even though at the moment you don't believe them. Your attitude is vital, it must be positive. Contact
www.gamblersanonymous.org for advice. Don't say nothing or no-one can help you because it's not true. You can start now this minute if you are really determined. Good luck, Kay x

Not giving in
by: Anonymous

Today is my 30th birthday and no one is sharing this day with me. This day will come and go as the rest do and I won't even allow myself to feel one way or another about it be because I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and clothes on my back. I will have another day ahead to try and find people in this world to care with me. I am a good person who deserves good things. Perhaps I am paying for a previous life.

Everything is worthless
by: Anonymous

What happens when you find no joy and no beauty in the works anymore? Is it time to just move on to the next plane of existence?

__________________________________________________

No it's time to realise the beauty that is within you, because it's there, you just have to dig deep to find it. Everyone has this inner beauty and is worthwhile, believe in yourself and focus on what you want to be like and what you dream to do. What you focus on will become your reality when you stay determined to make it this way. You can do it, but only with the right attitude.
Good luck, Kay x

I can't wait to die
by: Anonymous

I hate my life and I hate every one in this world. I wish life was easy but it will Neva be until I am dead and that way I won't be feeling the way I am feeling. I'm trapped in my own body and life feels pointless. I'm only 22 and iv been feeling like this since the age of 19.

Keep your head up!
by: Anonymous

I don't know you from Sam but I just googled "I hate my life" out of complete frustration and your comment was the first thing in the search. I know it's hard, and please believe I know that life can suck (for me I absolutely hate waking up every day). I have tried it all as well. I'm 36 and a 12 year combat veteran of the US ARMY with diagnosed PTSD, depression, and anxieties (thanks to war and unfaithful women). I honestly fight every day the urge to suck off a loaded weapon, and if you feel only a fraction of how I do, I will pray for you (even though praying has not helped for me personally) maybe it works for others.

I am a hot mess for no discernible reason, every time I turn around I feel as though life or God or whatever kicks me in the b***s. I went from being self sufficient at 13 to a decorated soldier (leader actually) 6 figure income to nearly homeless (again) since I got out of the Army. The only reason I am not homeless is for my little Brother and his wife, otherwise I would have been living off the land in the woods.

I am so sorry you feel the way you do but try and keep your head up. The only thing that keeps me from pulling the trigger is my dwindling faith and the fact that I have never been a quitter in life even as though I feel life or God or whatever has quit on me. I just wanted to comment and tell you no matter how bad it seems at the time (take it from someone who's been there, done that and got the T-shirt) it can always be worse, and as hard as it is stay grateful for what little you have. Be sure to tell the people who are important in your life how much you appreciate them while you and or they are still around.

uncomfortable
by: Anonymous

It is terrible to feel this way.
It is as though we are trapped in our own skin.

I feel like I need to run away start over but like you. The more times I try the more times I fail. it seems there is no escape. No matter if you 16 or in your 40's it is endless misery.

I suppose we are like transvestites. Like them we look at ourselves and feel trapped in a cage that does not reflect what we are. What we want or try to be. We were not born right.

i dont know
by: jag

I've read some of your comments here and I feel sad that so many people are in need of a friend that will tell them that everything will be ok. I'm in need of someone like that right now too. I don't believe in God so that's out.

I wish there was a chat room for people like us I just need to talk to someone, get motivated and stronger to fight the self destructive thoughts. I woke up so happy and pumped up today and by 1pm I was crying my eyes out again. I wish the good moments lasted longer and my obsessive thoughts were not as intrusive.

I wish you all the best of luck in finding your strengths to live in a world of jerks, criminals, gossip girls, dumb celebrities or unfit parents. Everybody deserves to be happy and appreciated for who they are! unless they are hurting other people...

help!!
by: Anonymous

ok so I have been dating my ex-fiance for 8 years, we were supposed to get married next month but 3 months ago he broke up with me because "we were fighting to much". He told me we aren't meant to be, I need to move on and let go. The second we stopped dating he was dating someone else, I found pictures etc. I guess they dated for about a month because they are no longer together. She was just a rebound. I know he still loves me, but I think that due to the fact that I keep calling, begging and pleading is giving him the upper hand and hes not taking give me a second chance into consideration.

I know I need to stop calling him and contacting him, but what are the chances. I mean breaking up an engagement and telling 400 people that its over is a huge deal (families did not like that) what are the chances he regrets his decision and will go back on his word.

I made some major mistakes, unfortunately I can't take them back. What I am doing is learning, even though its mostly guilt that's eating me up inside that things could have been different if I didn't do this and that. I also can't help but think that I'll just be alone forever and that this is punishment for the way I treated him.

But what hurts the most is not getting a second chance to make things right and a second chance with him. I feel like he will never really know what he meant to me.

Its been 3 months, obviously me calling all the time and begging and pleading is not helping the situation but I just feel as though he is so distant and he doesn't wanna hear anything I have to say. Even though all I want to say is what he means to me.

Let alone I have to face everyone everyday, family, friends and all those people who judge us and judge the our relationship. You can just imagine 400 noisy and annoying family members all up in your business.

The point is I feel awful of the way I treated him, I guess I just want to be forgiven by him, god and mostly myself. I want to learn from what I have done which I believe I have, and I no longer want to torture myself and I just want to let things be meaning if its meant to be it will be. I just hope that's it really is.

MY VIEW
by: Anonymous

You are actually good looking, I on the other hand am short, fat, ugly, diabetic, blind in one eye, cannot hold a job, on antidepressants for 11 years, have been disowned by my family because I am not a crook like them and I have no friends.

I just sit here and rot when I am not at my minimum wage job being yelled at by customers. Every day I wonder why I was ever born ( I was a mistake as told by my parents). I wish they had used better birth control.

I am in my 40's and thinking life sucks.

It is really true, nice guys finish last, Everyone that I know including my family who screws people over all the time are doing much better than me.

Barely surviving financially, in the middle of a bunkruptcy, people on welfare have more fun that I do. they have nicer close, furniture and friends.

YES LIFE DOES SUCK BIG TIME.

I always wonder why some people just float through life and get all the breaks while I have had to fight for every little crumb of life that I have.

People new to this country have far more opportunities than I could ever wish for.
Have worked the last 26 years burning myself out and I am no farther ahead than the crack head down the hall from me.

Shut up
by: Anonymous

Everyone shut up stop complaining instead of just dwelling in what you did(past tense) focus on the future the damage has already been done you can't take back what you did, and so you had sex a lot and drink fine, if you don't want to do that anymore than don't and don't tell me its soo hard/ If you don't want to do that then stop!

I'm so tired of people playing the victim card waiting for someone to rescue them. Newsflash you're the hero save your own ass and have some self control.

Landmark
by: Anonymous

Look up landmark education... I promise everything will be transformed in your life

snakes and birds
by: Davina

Wow, quite some interesting responses on here! some not related to your issue at all. So, I'm 34. 3 kids. I have days like yours, always have. they come and go .... since I was small. life's 'heavy'. it's like I go into this dark cave and I don't get why people can be so happy about life when it.. sucks.

Now, I have a 'good' job ..used to be in the Army, divorced now and have 3 beautiful daughters. I'm better when they are with me, focusing on them really keeps me better off. but then, when they go to their fathers I just fall apart. Right now, at this very moment, is a very bad night. no one can help, no book, no self--help book, no advice from anyone can really help. They don't feel what I feel, they can't go in and 'fix it' whatever IT is.

I hate 'life' because...well, it's done nothing for me. No one loves me, no man really ever has, and...see there? feeling sorry for myself. Then, I hate myself for feeling sorry for myself. I look forward to tomorrow because my kids will distract me from 'me' ..the dark side.. kinda like you put it. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo. I'm an artistic person too, I'm thinking a tat of a snake to represent the dark side and something beautiful, perhaps a bird, entwined somehow. That's what it's like, two sides of me no one will ever get. It's a struggle I think we'll always have. Focusing on others does help a bit. but when we have these bad days, f*** it. Let us have our bad days. Eventually we'll come around for a bit... like a storm passing. A cycle. I believe its important we try to be tough. Maybe that's a little army coming through, but there's something to it. Face it, be brave. Be your own soldier and hope that someday, God or whoever will give us some cred for that. -Davina

words of life
by: Anonymous

You are so beautiful! I don't know why the most beautiful girls have such a hard time with self esteem.

I am a person who has been around a very long time gal, and I'm here to tell you that if you do exactly what I am about to tell you that your life will be totally changed and blessed.

Stand up! Put your arms straight down to your side. Look straight ahead. Stand there for about thirty seconds.

Okay now look on the floor to the right of your feet. Take one complete step SIDEWAYS to your right and let your left foot catch up with the right.

Stand there and look straight ahead of you for a few seconds to make sure that you are sure footed and balanced.

Okay now take a deep breath and let it out.

Okay now repeat these words loudly and with
determination.

"I am beautiful"
"I am strong"
"I am smart"
" I can do anything"
"I am loved"
"I have purpose"

Now Look Over at the spot that you USED to be standing and tell that person that you used to be,

"I AM GOODLOOKING AND SMART AND I CAN DO ANYTHING THAT I WANT TO, and I will NEVER, EVER PICK UP THAT PERSON AGAIN BECAUSE GOD did not make me to be only HALF FULL of what He made me to be."

Someone has cheated you out of YOU being what the good Lord has intended for you to be.

Get tough! Get determined and bold to be what you know that you are to be, what you can and shall be.

Flee or RUN from the negative thought that tries to embark your mind because NEGATIVE is your enemy. Darkness is your enemy. Look towards the LIGHT and follow that light. Let the SUN shine warmth into your soul.

If you soak in your mind with the words of truth then you will be this:

THE CHOICE BECOMES THE CHOOSER...

Choose LIFE..........Smile and let the brilliance of a heart FILLED with the goodness of God cause your face to shine and then SHARE this with those around you.

Theres no easy answer
by: Anonymous

Life is tough. Sometimes it will get you down. That's when you've got to do your best to rise to the challenge. I suffer, everyday. But I don't let that hold me back. I have to act normal. If I don't I can really scare people, and most of that is not their 'acting' back at me, it is their real fear and concern for me.

When I don't answer the phone, some of them continue to try to contact me. Others run away and never come back. AND There was a stage when I didn't even have any friends to contact me. So often in life I'll get crushes, and then I find out this crush is now in a relationship with someone I know. It might take me a day to get over this heartache.

I could throw it all in, instead I try to scream at the top of my lungs or cry loudly until I get over it. Music has saved me though. It's something I focus on which has given me courage. Without it life would be difficult for me. Instead think I love my life and I feel excellent.

you can do it
by: Anonymous

I feel the same but I think it's because I'm afraid to change. I usually talk myself out of making a decision before I've even tried anything.

Cultivating some sense of surrender and giving up control, as well as trying to be grateful and be of service to other people - to put something into life rather than try and take from it - always makes me feel better.

with sympathy
by: Anonymous

I moved in US a few years ago. The living standards in my country of origin are lower than in US but people are happier because the human bonds that they have with one another are stronger and less artificial. People are more sanguine, and not polite just to be polite ... (you know what I mean). I feel that US is the country of the loners where the human bonds are almost robotic and based on materialism or interest. I see so many people who seem lonely and miserable, who like to talk to strangers just to fill their day with some human interaction, and it makes me sad... What is even worse is that I am starting to feel lonely myself even though I have family members here that show me love everyday.

It is even worse to admit that I have been very happy when I was living in my country and I didn't know. I don't know if I made the right choice moving here. Even though I went to graduate school here, I came to realize that good education doesn't guarantee a good job and the expectation you have about your life when you are young are so naive.I am feeling tired less motivated and pessimistic more and more everyday.

A lot of people would judge me for feeling like this because I have got the "looks" and the "education". But deep inside I am a very sensitive person not indifferent enough to the hypocrisy and injustice of this world to be able to succeed in life.
I want to thank everybody who has opened their hearts and given a piece of themselves to other people through this website.
Your stories made me cry tears of sympathy and empathy with you all...
They say that suffering is a characteristic of the noble spirit...

confusing
by: Anonymous

I can feel the same thing... I was so blessed right now because I have my friends who's always supporting me and lean on me when I am sad. I am 30 years old this coming November. But I can say that I have a lot of experience coming to my life and all of them are sadness.
I've been into failed relationships always I get pregnant twice but I never continue because I know my family will be upset and they will not accept. Until I decided not to tell to them because its useless my image will be vanished for them.
and now I told to myself that I will not communicate with all the boys, because I know what they want from me....

Im in a relationship now with lesbian. I'm happy with her... but did you think my partner will accept my parents??? please give me some advice... thank you so much

My life is a sh*t sandwich
by: Anonymous

No matter where I try to run, I am always there. The answers won't be found somewhere else, only from within. I am defeated also, by life. I'm done, it can all just roll over me now. If I leave and go to a new city or new country, I will always be there. The problem will follow because I AM the problem.

It adds up
by: Caleb

There are days in which I honestly do feel ok maybe even happy about my life and life in general. But then there are days when I feel as though I just want to die. Like nothing will make me feel better. It makes me wish whole heartedly that I had never been born at all.
It seems as though that the only time a day ever goes by that I am happy and not miserable, is when there are drugs involved. I cant be happy unless I'm high. That's so sad. How do all these other people do it? I feel so alone like everyone is just looking for a way to take advantage of me. The only ones that really care are either really far away from me or they have the exact same issues that I do.
I cant seem to find a way out. I get so angry at life and it makes me want to go out and take what life wont give me. To hurt someone else to make me feel better. I know this is bad but evil negative thoughts seem to have taken over my mind. I wish so hard for change but I cant break the cycle.

You are your best resource
by: Anonymous

From what you describe, I know very much how you feel. If that is the case, I'm sure you'd rather just feel understood than have me give you a little piece of advice. So, again, what you describe is very much how I feel: isolated, hopeless, frustrated. However, I'll offer this advice: look into counseling or social work as a career. Helping others may be a way for you to feel fulfilled. If going back to school seems like a long road, just think of it like this: 3 to 5 years vs. the rest of your life. Ultimately, you have to determine what will get you to a better place, and then follow that path. Even if you don't know what that is, I think that somewhere in your heart, mind, and soul you have an idea of what that is. Find a therapist that you can be completely honest and open with and stay with it. Please, just don't give up. I don't know you and I care about you. I truly wish you the best.

LIfe
by: Anonymous

Its not your problem, you just need to read (spiritual) books and realize what is life, then your problem will be okay. when you realize what is the meaning of the life then I'm sure you wont try to escape from the life and you wont be fed up with your life. Better go for Indian spiritual books. All the best friend.

Nothing Is Impossible

A Miracle
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. It wasn't long ago that I felt the same as you. Then I read a sign. It said: "Don't take yourself too seriously - we all have the same ending." I laughed and laughed at that because it is so true. So many of us spend our time dwelling on the past or stressing about the future and to what end? It is a miracle that you and I are even alive - that we can breathe in and out, that we can see, that we can smell things, taste things, etc. So, when I start feeling sorry for myself, or guilty, sad, angry, or any other negative emotions, I think about the small miracles (the grass, the flowers, etc.) and it allows me to recognize what a miracle it is that I am here right now, living and breathing and typing on this amazing piece of technology. The fact that we can feel anything at all is a miracle. We are all miracles and should celebrate all things we can do and really celebrate contributing positively to the miracle(s) of others.

worthless
by: Anonymous

Trust me you are not alone. I to feel like I'm the most hated person in the world. Every one that I had contact with either left me or died, my parents my son, even on my job I did my very best and I was hated by bosses for no reason. God did not give me any talents at all this life seems worthless. I ask GOD why did you bother giving me life. WHY!!!!!!

Feel the same way
by: Drowning

I know exactly how you feel. I live at home I am 25 and might be going to jail for my second DUI . Life sucks I have been to treatment a couple of times with out success. Everything feels empty and broke I honestly could kill myself I know thats not the solution. I feel like a burden to my family I am so embarrassed.

sick of this
by: Anonymous

I hate my life. I really want to kill myself. I think about it every day. I have nothing to live for. I'm stuck in a stupid job, went to medical school and now stuck doing this crap for no money and all the responsibility while everyone else took the easy route and work 9-4 and do sh*t for more money. I slept with a guy who wont even look at me now, and started dating someone else 2 weeks after he stopped talking to me and freaking work in the same place as both of them and have to face my mistake every day.

I feel ugly and alone and hopeless and don't even care about my job anymore. I'm in 200,000 dollars in debt from med school tuition. if I could find an easy way to kill myself I would.

Always an outsider
by: tom

I always was an outsider, in school, at work, no family no friends. I only had 1 woman at the age of 25, long and hard relationship.

I saw everybody here tell their story so I went ahead a wrote a little. I didn't go to school instead I did drugs. I have a lot of difficulties trusting new people, and also women.
I will always feel an outsider, someone that most people don't want to get closer to. This feeling of lonliness is like living in a void.

burst your wee bubble
by: lesley anne mooney

I hate to burst this bubble of depression you're in but I am someone you can look to for honest brutal truth. I am a 31 year old mother of 4, both parents dead. I was living the perfect life me and my fabulous husband Gordon our kids wee were so happy people were probably sick of us walking past holding hands and kissing.

But fate or hate decided it was not to be for us and on the 20th of June 2011 I had an unexpected visit from my once brother, whose life was not going as well as he'd hoped. He decided to burst our perfect little bubble and stab Gordon to death on my front door step in front of my 2 eldest children and myself.

My life is now over without him but I have to be strong for the kids even though the pain is tearing my soul apart. So before you give up hope look around you, I am sure you will find a smile or a sunset or a star that makes you smile even if its for 1 moment, take that and keep it. The worlds not bad. Just how people choose to behave make your choice x x x luv a torn soul x

Do not expect too much from life.
by: Stamina

Have you ever seen the life of poor people, who strive every day for survival? Have you watched some movies about WWII? Soldiers lied injured on snowy ground? Many of us have a better life than half of the earth population.

I have also a boring life and not many friends. Therefore I work often over time even without payment. I think it is a good feeling, if I know that I can do something positive for society.

Getting over the sun
by: Joe

The truth is this, and I say this of myself as well:

You(we) are extremely selfish.

You need to start giving up of yourself... volunteer your time and begin to do small acts of kindness.

You will be surprised how good it is to get outside of your own head and bless another person.

Dont know what to do
by: JD

I'm 30 myself, I find it hard to even wake up, I sleep in till noon sometimes one and even then find it hard to pick my lifeless body up and start my day. I wish it was night all the time because that's when I feel ok... and even then its a stretched out ok. I work nights at a restaurant and usually go out after that and try and forget things.

I live with my dad and it seems he is giving up on me, I feel uncomfortable living here at times, and the worst I let my own father down.

I'm lost on what to do in life and my meaning of me being here. I would love to change my life start somewhere new and start over, I'm broke loveless and hardly keep in touch with the most important my family! very depressed and wish I could change my life! Anyone.....

Hey....
by: Mike

I completely relate to what you've said and have pretty much spelled out the story of my own life. I'm in my late 20's and have fallen hard on the reality of my nature, my past, the confusion, delusions, the apathy and inverted rage that comes with it.

The fact that either way you have to fall in line somewhere kinda sucks. I think I speak for many that we are sold a lot of ideas when young and time eventually reveals that whatever system/structure we were put through may have sold us a false future. Its more than that though, its a very personal thing. Its something that seems so removed from understanding and words. From the collective and functional. You seemed to have chased someones elses dreams for you. You perhaps built your character and ambitions on selected incidents that you cant quite understand why, other than wanting to be saved or guided. So you probably end up searching for the "You", the secret dweller through the self help book which probably work, I dunno. Take care.

Jesus will change that
by: Anonymous

You need Jesus as your saviour and Lord, He his the way the truth and the Life, you will get an inner peace and specially a joyful life. may God Bless
you and Help you. I will pray for you.

is there any hope?
by: Anonymous

Life is a bitch, i feel like high school is a waste of my time, this is only my sophmore year and I feel like I am going to explode. Everyday when I walk in the school's foyer I hear the girls I dislike and wish they get kicked out or better dead. They say there goes miss fatty. Well of course I'm a chubby girl who wants to be the worlds greatest known chef, but it seems like that's a futile attempt.

I would love to have my first kiss, but I seriously doubt any boy wants me. It doesn't help at all that when I go home every day my brother has the audacity to call me biggest bitch of the world, or saying that I am too big be seen in public, that I need to go to the gym more often. Sometimes I cry in my bedroom, my mom is no help at all, my father I don't know where the hell he is. Will their be any hope for me?

______________________________________________

Focus on that dream of becoming the worlds best chef. Read up on recipes, cooking tips, read about the great chefs and how they achieved their dreams. Learn about food and diet.

Above all put aside the hurtful comments from girls at schools and your brother. Know yourself, love yourself for the special girl you are. Believe in yourself, and aim for the stars! You can do it, you just have to believe you can. Then do it.

Come out swinging
by: Anonymous

I'm 30 years old as well. My life has been a series of dismal failures, broken hearts, and failed attempts to simply be happy. It has dawned on me folks; life is pain. It will always be that way. The fact you feel this pain symbolizes desire to better yourself. Keep this one thing in mind; when you want something, you never stop pursuing it.. day and night every minute of your life. Don't lay down, get what you want out of life period.

Some people decide to stop breathing because they believe that achieving some sort of satisfaction in life is futile.. but it isn't. Fight for it, keep your motor running, and in the end, whether it was how you had imagined it or not, you can at least say you gave it your best.

Eckhart Tolle
by: Xanthin

Everyone here owes it to themselves to hear out Eckhart Tolle. Read 'A New Earth'. Even better, listen to the audio book. It will change your perspective and your life.

The anger, depression, and anxiety have nothing to do with who you actually are. You may not believe me, but what do you have to lose? Just give it a try.

Life sux at times
by: Anonymous

I feel like most of the people on this forum, I'm 32, had to move back in with my parents, lost a good job, my girlfriend of 6 years left me, after she cheated on me, i got a new job and a new girlfriend but after 3 months they both fell through.

I feel like there is no point to it all, some days are good some are not, but I see one common value in EVERY single person here including myself, we all have low self esteem, this is what separates us from people who are generally happy in their lives. When you don't have high self esteem everything goes with it, no confidence, no motivation, anxiety, job loss, no friends, no lovers, its how it works.

What I have learned is that no one is better than you, sure some people are better at certain things than you but we all have the right to feel that we can do and say anything, life is what you make it, its all about effort and not being lazy, if you truly want something it will happen for you but you have to work at it.

Life is a roller coaster of emotions and hard work, I truly believe its a test, we all have a purpose in life and we need to try and fulfill it. If we don't it ends up in misery and depression.

Ive decided to take control of my life, stop blaming others, start working at something and feel good about myself, no one is going to do it for us, if you constantly tell yourself that you're a loser that has no hope that is what you will be, but if you start believing in yourself anyone here can accomplish what they want.
__________________________________________________

And remember everyone has good and bad times, even though some people look really happy, have lots of friends, great job etc. they all have moments of depression and feeling bad, its human nature and we are the ones that let it get to us. I wish everyone here a better life and know that things never stay the same, people change and just accept that life was not meant to be easy, things will change if you beleive they will.

Grow Up?
by: Anonymous

I find happiness in the daily small victories; my kid got a good grade, my boss actually appreciated and endorsed my HARD WORK, I gave my epileptic neighbor a ride to Wal-Mart. Get some Anabuse, suck it up and drive on. Our entire misguided generation is under the impression that we are entitled to "happiness".

Lost hope
by: Anonymous

I'm fifteen and already my life is sucking. I want to grow up to be a famous movie director but people keep telling me I can't. My day goes on the same every day. Let me tell you how it was yesterday,today and tomorrow for me. I wake up at 5:00 am, go to school in a lonely bus. Arrive at school unwanted. I think I gotta lot of friends but I don't hear from them when I get out of school.

I go home very depressed. Sit on my bead alone listing to my I-pod. I have brothers but they just ignore me. I have one that is 17 and the other is 14 and they get along together without me. My parents are having a lot of trouble and ignore me. My mom is always busy and when she is not she is screaming at me. My dad is almost never home because he works down the hill and he only sees us in the weekends. I don't really have anything to look for. I used to get bullied, been betrayed by my closest friends. I got nobody to talk to. I am alone in this world. I've never even had a girlfriend but everybody else has. I HATE MY LIFE!!!!

Sorry I can't help, but I understand
by: Anonymous

I read so many of these 'hate my life' blogs, cos I read them a lot, but when I read yours it was honestly like I was reading about myself.

Most of these blogs are younger people are people who went through a divorce or something, but yours resonated so much of my life. I'm 30 too, I have done nothing in life but try to follow my dreams as a dancer/performer....and for what... What is life when you follow your dreams and life still sucks? I lived with my parent last year and felt like such a loser.

Now I'm by myself in London, I have 'friends' but I spend most time on my own cos I'm either so euphoric and anxious trying to achieve something with my life, or I'm alone and crying cos everything just sucks. I don't believe in God, I don't speak to my family very often. With friends I just put on a fake smile and go along with life till I get home.

I used to be so 'good' and intelligent when I
was a kid. Good grades, great at music, sports, did every extra curricular activity and excelled in it all. What happened to me? I'm 30, got absolutely no money.. my dreams are a waste of time, I can't confide in anyone cos no-one can help me and I'd just bore people. I've lost faith in everything and I'm crap at everything. Life's a waste of time.. I see no point. I've let my parents down which kills me. I've let myself down which hurts and it's so hard knowing no-one cares.

I had anxiety attacks earlier this year and thought I was having a breakdown so I went to the Doctor, but she just said life was tough and to chill out and be stronger. I just want to lie in a field or on top of a mountain or lose myself in a forest somewhere for the rest of my life. I see no point in having kids cos why would I want to bring them into this misery?

I wish one day I could have hope but I see the way I view life and it's so deep within me I know I'll never change, even on good days when I feel eurphoric and think everything might be ok. I could suffer the pain of life that I feel everywhere I look if I was a true artist and good at what I did. But I'm not, so why am I punishing myself everyday? For what? How do other people not feel the pain I feel? Life is bad enough when you're young cos at least you have hope and youth on your side. As I get even older and uglier and people around me die, life is just gonna get even more excruciating and I don't think I can handle it. I don't even want to face the rest of this horrendous week never mind the rest of my life...no answers to anything no matter how hard I search.

A comment
by: Greg

Already the story it seems for me, though I am trying to push forward in life, at age 20.

I don't have any friends. Well, friends that are interesting anyway, or match my interests. I have a focused future with no one to share it with and no one one to explain my dreams to.

I also despise my degree in journalism, more because my school was a rip-off and the way they did journalism didn't do it for me.

Currently I can only aspire to be a DJ or voice actor. Everyone would say those occupations are cool, but the truth is, I want more then that and have interests in areas few others have heard of, like Internet radio, vidding, AMVS, mash-ups and so forth, and such unknown interests might be why I am an outcast.

I'm trying to preserve money and not get myself into stressful situations, though it seems like the cycle will ensure more money is taken away from me.

I am an outcast, but considering how shallow, similar and uncaring other people are, the only real best friend I have is myself.

Fed up
by: TP

hi there...
I know I may sound dumb while saying this...
but I am sick of life..
I'm an Indian woman who is 27 years of age...
in our culture being 30 is as good as being 45 in the European culture...
I fell in love at the age of 23 for the second time.. and I was everything that anyone could want in a woman.. patient, outgoing, allowed him space for work, allowed him to freak out for boy's nights.. etc etc.. but it wasn't enough...
he went ahead and married someone his parents found.. I am sick to the verge of puking that he went ahead with it to please his old parents...
I am a practical girl when it comes to normal things.. don't know why I made the mistake of thinking that he would be there for me... He wasn't. He won't be.. I know now... I know it may seem silly to voice out such a complaint, but only I know the hurt of trusting the wrong person... and knowing that no one is going to be there for me...
Here I am at age 28 and alone... regretting the foolish mistakes I made... what's the point I still haven't seemed to learn anything...

Dont feel bad
by: Anonymous

To everyone who is suffering with frustration, there are billions of people on earth who struggle everyday just to get their daily bread. Millions sleep with empty stomachs.

If you want to feel better please help the poor that will also help you believe that your life is not so bad.

Faith in the divine
by: Anonymous

Hardship, failure and inner conflicts are part of life and we all go through it. It is how you face these obstacles that ultimately define the person you are. According to my personal experience my reliance on the divine and my faith in Him helped me so much. I don't care whether you are Muslim, Jewish or Christian I consider them as the three main branches of a tree that connects you with the Lord. My emphasis is about how I receive guidance that ultimately helped me through life so far.

Ask for guidance because He listens. This life is short and not worth stressing about. But you might ask how will you discover the divine? The answer lies within, my ancestor said if you want to know God know yourself. We are His creation and all the answers are deep within our hearts and souls. The heart in Arabic might also mean the brain, hence my point here is to contemplate and think. My ancestor also said that an hour worth of contemplation is better than a whole year of worship.

Again this is only my advice for you and you don't have to believe any of it. I only spent time and effort to write you this because I care. If God and faith is non sense for you that is okay, because I don't expect everyone to adapt to my system of belief. We are all different and what works for me might not work for you. May the mercy, love and blessings of God be upon you :).

I feel for you
by: Anonymous

I understand how you feel. I hate my life as well. And I feel like such an asshole saying that because I am a privileged 23 year old, I have everything materialistic that I want, yet I'm still not happy.

I was in a 5 year relationship with someone I truly love but he just wasn't going anywhere with his life. I felt so much pressure from everyone around me to end things with him because I am becoming very successful in my career within the financial industry and he dropped out of college at 21 years old and has been working at a fast food restaurant for the past 2 years. I love him, I truly do from the bottom of my heart, but I hate him for not doing more with his life. I hate him for letting me down. I feel like a snob for leaving him because of his lack of a career but it is something that is important in my life and in my circle. He wasn't living up to my standards.

Now that I'm without him, I feel so incredibly alone. I was never as close with anyone as I was with him. I feel like every relationship I have is incredibly artificial. I spend most nights in bed alone by myself. I dream about him and I cry all of the time. I feel like I can't get back together with him because we are heading in such different directions. It's like I can't live with or without him. I feel hopeless.

Just fed up
by: Anonymous

I can't stand being around here anymore! Every little thing annoys me! I used to get bullied like crazy, I have so many problems going on! The thing that really annoys me though is the fact that no matter who I'm with, No-one will talk to me! I always seem to be the "Outcast" In a group! I'm just sick to death of it! All I want is someone to rely on, a friend, Perhaps something more than a friend. I just don't know any more :/

religion sucks
by: Anonymous

I'm 15 my parents are together and I live a reasonably good life. I do well in school and everything but my self esteem is sh*t. Compared to most people here it think I have it easy but my parents are really religious and I have lost my faith. I have no friends to talk to and if my parents fond out they would probably send me back to a religious school which I absolutely hate.

I finally moved to public school last year after I almost failed religious school because I stopped trying. I just don't believe in god anymore. Any advice?

PAIN OR PROPER?
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain, I'm sorry, things will get better, sooner or later! Don't forget (for what its worth) God Loves you!
Did you ever think that there are just some people, no matter how they tried ... thats what they are their for? Came to me 2 days ago.

Burnt out
by: Anonymous

I am a 24-year-old male and I feel completely burnt out. I can no longer derive any pleasure from life. I spend all day everyday by myself applying for job after job. I live at home with my parents in a small(ish) town that I'm really bored of.

I have no girlfriend I am beginning to resort to alcohol, junk food and pornography to ease the boredom and anguish I feel everyday. All the things that I usually love doing such as playing the guitar, socialising and exercising have completely lost their appeal. I wake up everyday and I feel that life is completely passing me by - this depresses me even further. I am sapped of energy and worst of all my motivation is becoming ever more non-existent. Suicide crosses my mind everyday but I don't think I could ever follow through with it as it would hurt my family too badly. There's just no winning. Then again, I know that there are people in way worst positions than I am.

The water cure
by: Jim

Please don't dismiss this as nonsense before you have tried it. Drink three glasses of water with sea salt dissolved in it every day. It must be sea salt, preferably Celtic sea salt.

Why cant life be as easy as everyone says it is ?
by: Anonymous

I'm just so tired of this crap I mean I try all my life to be something and it just feels like no matter how hard I try I'm back to square one. I'm just a worthless loser with no future and I know that you'll say it gets better. I ask when?

I've always had a deep sadness in me and it seems that no one ever gives a damn. I spend more of my time worrying about other people instead of myself yet they never see it that way. I'm always an a**hole or something along those lines. I'm not going to do anything dangerous I just feel really unappreciated

I am in the same boat
by: Anonymous

I will be turning 30 this December and I am living at home, going through the same emotions and deal with the same everyday non-motivational world. It's a lot harder for me, because I have two daughters who I only see during the weekends, every other weekend. Both my daughters go to school and live with their fathers in different cities. I never thought I'd see the day my kids left me for their fathers. It was a decision I thought was clever at the time. My world never felt so empty, like there was nothing to live for since everything that made me happy left me. I would always ask myself, "if my daughters meant the world to me, why are they not with me?" I always told myself I was a worthless, no good, bad mother, and person. I don't have many friends and I look to my little sisters to always hang out with but they have their own lives. I always look for the easy way out, ways of killing myself, running away, cutting myself, and drinking. I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me there's something wrong with me because I know there is.

I'm continuously fighting with myself every single day between what's worth it and what's not. I had the mentality of "why am I here when nobody needs me?" It's the little things that gets you motivated to do something better. It's hard, very, very hard and you can't give up. My daughters are my reason why I haven't plunge to my doom. Even though they aren't with me, I know they're doing very well where they are at. So that moment of when I get to pick them up and spend my time with them, that is what I look forward to.

To many people I seem like a joke. I have a ten year old and five year old daughter and I haven't done a damn thing with my life. It's taking me a long time to realize what I've done, what I'm doing, what I need to do to get to where I need to get to. I have no degree, I've worked temp jobs for the past 10 years and I live at home. When my daughters are with me, they sleep on the floor in my little room I have at my parents house. I don't want my daughters to go through what I went through so I have to push myself on a daily because I'm not living for myself. I have two others that I am a mother to so I need to get my life going in one direction and not all directions.

It's hard finding positive energy and to surround yourself in it on a daily basis, but when you find it, hold on to it. It'll help you when Debbie Downer and Negative Nancy appears...even if it's just a small thought. Think of your degree you worked hard for. Yes, it's only in dance, but it's something you worked for and put time into. If you can do that you can do it again for yourself to be better. Volunteer for those less fortunate to see how lucky you are to even have what you have.

I hope this helps =)

Volunteer
by: Anonymous

In order to take the focus off of yourself, try to get out and about to help others. I promise that if you dedicate your time and talents to helping others, you have no time to think pitiful things about yourself. Go to the food bank, a local thrift store, a church, a school, the library, etc. and volunteer your time. It will make all the difference in the world.

My life sucks
by: Anonymous

I hate my life so bad, all of my life I have been looking for other people's respect, care, and most importantly love, but all the efforts ended in failure... I feel especially hurt when I see other people around me getting what I can't. I feel like nobody cares. I have just tried as hard, but nothing seems to work, I know life isn't fair, but this is just too much, i don't want to endure this anymore, and I can't share with anyone, because they wouldn't understand.

I am sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry if I made it sound like s competition on who has the worst life I really didn't mean it to sound that way.I know many people out there are happy with their lives and all I was trying to say is I identify with emotional pain and I do hope everyone on here who is sad will find happiness someday:) I am very grateful I found this site I just needed to vent and it helped.

go and do good for others...that will make you happy..
by: Anonymous

The best thing for people who are down is to go to the childrens' hospital where they are fighting to live and volunteer to help in any way you can... or go to a nursing home and read to the teenager who because of a car accident is stuck in his body and no one cares, massage his feet talk to him as though he can hear you... maybe he can, or play cards with someone who is homeless and has no one in their life... all my depression comes from me thinking about myself.. but when I go out and do one nice thing for someone it feels wonderful... Jesus didn't go out and show off his power... all he did was go out and do good... he tells us to go and do good... make a batch of cookies even if you never have before and take them to the firemen who fight fires

There's a million things to do out there that will make you feel full! go to the animal shelter and walk a puppy or older dog that no one wants... go for a walk and really look at a tree and how amazing it is! life is a gift it really is and this body you have is amazing... if not for any other reason love it because it can move and not be stuck in one position as I am for the rest of your life... ride a bicycle..everyone riding a bicycle is smiling...

Find your passion.
by: Devin (Utah)

From the moment I started reading I could tell you seemed like a very deep, interesting, and incredible person. I found this article searching for someone who understands how I feel. I too have always struggled with low self esteem. If I could offer any advice at all it would be to simply find something that you are passionate about. If you have something, hold onto it. For me its art. Music, drawing, theatre, etc. I wish the best for you, and I sincerely hope you find whatever it is that makes you happiest in life.

Please dont give up
by: Anonymous

Listen to Josh Groban's song - You are loved, don't give up. PLEASE do that. I wish you the very best and may god bless you. I was going worst through what you are and now I am very content. Thanks!

To Michael
by: Anonymous

It's got nothing to do with who has the worse life! Having a mental illness or depression is not easy to get over if that is what people on here have!

Why did you come on here in the first place if you like your life? Also you don't know what people have gone through in their lives anyway! I bet most people on here care about what happens to the starving people in Africa and wished we could really do something about it! We aren't selfish we are just in pain that's all! One last thing are you happy with all that stuff because if you aren't then you contradicted your point? You are an idiot for coming on here and gloating! You must be still on drugs!

Don't worry
by: Junior Los Angeles

I believe our lives could change at any time. Don't give up.

could be worse
by: Anonymous

I hate my life too I'm 43 and suffer from depression and anxiety disorder I have had this condition since I was a teenager. I am married and I do love him but I'm a miserable person at least you have been given an opportunity to better your life not even therapy has helped me.

I come from a poor family with only my alcoholic mother to raise my brother and myself I have been molested raped and beaten my whole childhood, I managed to have two wonderful children who are very successful but I am numb and always have been.
This is my second marriage we've been together 14 years and we can never get ahead just like many people in today's economy I just don't have anything to look forward to in life. We have my 34 year old mooching stepdaughter living with us for a year now and she refuses to grow up and be responsible. I spend my whole day cussing and throwing things because life sucks and I am so done I don't want to wake up in the mornings anymore I just want it to end. I have already attempted 8 suicides. I don't think life is ever going to be better, so enjoy what you do have I don't even have my parents to run to they both died in my teens. Good luck.

Thank you.
by: Anonymous

Thought I hated my life till I read all this stuff. I feel much better about myself now.

Re: Mike, spoiled
by: Rusty

Mike it's narrow minded **** like you that don't understand the first thing about depression and the feelings that come along with it. I'm sure all of these people like myself are aware of how fortunate they are compared to many other people in the world.

Unless you have suffered depression don't write your bull sh*t uneducated thoughts towards people who have already been told a million times to toughen up or snap out of it. You ignorant ****.

I hate my life
by: Anonymous

I hate my life. i have a father and mother who is always at work and a brother who terrifies me everyday. I can't talk to him normally without expecting a fist to the face. Every night in bed, I can't sleep because I keep thinking that he'll stab me in the night. Right now I want to kill myself. I can't deal with it anymore.

spoiled people
by: mike

Well, for a Positive-Personal-growth web site what a bunch of whiny losers you all are! Do any of you know how good you have it? go walk through the slums of central America, Africa and Asia, where dozens of family members are forced to live together in one hut, eat out of one pot same gruel every day no toys ever. Never see a tv, a telephone is something rich people can afford, your favorite game is kicking a ball you made of dried sticks am I getting through here?

If you are able to access this website you already have more than the great majority of people on this planet. Did you eat this morning? do you go to school? do you get new clothes when you outgrow your old? Do you live in fear every day that at any moment your family will be taken from you or that you might be forced to kill your own family only to go serve in some jungle army?

I come from a pretty well to do family, my dad was an engineer my mom had lots of different jobs.
and I was just like all of you, unhappy. life was not fair I wanted to be different yet be treated the same as everyone else. So I started doing drugs lots of drugs! booze, stealing, vandalizing and generally rebelling against the society that shunned me. I left home when i was 16 moved to western Canada and worked a few dead-end jobs to scrape by. then I moved onto the streets, which was my saving grace! I could no longer afford drugs. I sobered up (mostly) I still struggle with marijuana addiction. But I cope. I got my life together. Went back to work and decided I would never take a job that paid less than the last one. and so moved back up in the world.
10 years later, I now own a $500K house,two $40K vehicles I make 120K per year, I have a wife and two beautiful daughters, I guess what I am trying to tell you sad people out there is keep your chin up don't despair the only thing keeping you down is yourself (unless of course your parents keep you locked in the basement and rape you daily) see it could be worse. You CAN do anything. I am 35 years old I have lived a rough life more than most can imagine but I never gave up on myself even when the rest of the world did.
I made it so can you.
Quit your whining and do something about it!

I feel ya
by: Sad Danny

I'm very much the same as you only worse I think, I turn 33 tomorrow and I still live at home, I've NEVER moved out, am hardly an adult! I have no friends, only 1 who just doesn't get me and I don't like a lot of things about him. I have no girlfriend, haven't had one since my one and only girlfriend in 1997 which lasted for just over 6 months I think,

I have a stutter so that's probably why I have such low confidence and self esteem so never really dated. I have smoked canobis since I was 17/18 and have ONLY JUST stopped it. I have been a recluse since after my car crash in 1999. I feel totally and utterly hopeless and on top of that, I kinda do believe in God but I have no faith in him/her whatever it is, God doesn't care I feel.
So thats my sad life...

Normal is crazy.
by: Piglet

Remember that is far more easier for a psychiatrist to point a finger at you and say who you are, instead of just giving you a stranger's hug.
I know it sounds corny but it works. If there were more hugs to go around, no one would need psychiatrists.
You should be grateful for having yourself and your own free will and thought.
Be well.

MY PATHETICLY HATED LIFE
by: Rachel

I am a 17-year-old girl. But my parents still control me. I can't even choose my own hairstyle. It's not even those atrocious hairstyles that I want. Just a simple one. My clothes also, chosen by my mum. Not forgetting the colour. She absolutely hates black & will not allow me to wear black clothes. When all my friends can wear what they want, dress how they like, dye their hair or just cut their hair as they like, I cannot. I was never given a choice. I used to love my life once. Or well, at least I found it not too bad. Now I changed my mind. The other day, my mum locked me up at home on the day I had my test. & she threatens me a lot. Just to save the people I love from getting hurt, I always give in to her threats. But I hate it. She doesn't care about me anymore. I hate her. I hate my life to the core. & I hate the me I am now. I feel like committing suicide. But I know I can't. Not because I'm not brave enough to do so. Because I have dreams. My dreams are the only things keeping me going now. I don't even dare to tell my friends anything. Because they have their own problems already. I don't want to add to their problems.

I feel your pain...everyone
by: Anonymous

I feel everyone's pain by reading most of the comments on here...I went to College just once at the DATC, and had a typing certificate, but I dropped out because I ran out of tuition funds... I'm only 27 years old and I feel that I have not accomplished my goals, and I'm struggling financially at my age.

So I screwed around started drinking, partying a lot, and sex because I was going nowhere with my life... people that "pretended" to be my friends back stabbed and gossiped about me behind my back about stuff that was not true.

Also my parents think that I'm lazy for not getting a Bachelor's degree at my age, or a Doctorate's...whatever. They were very unsupportive and it lead me to a very depressed mood state.

Also my good paying Job in the xxxxx Clerk room is full of Drama, and even at my job most people treat me like crap, and I get swept under the rug and overlooked...the new hires got trained on xxxxx and recieved many rewards and promotions, but me?

I busted my ass for 3 years at my job and got probably 2 rewards for participation and coming to work on time... I fought really hard in those 3 years to be trained on other things in the Department and Management didn't even help...not even the Union which supposed to protect my rights.

I guess it's the way I look probably, and the hotter girl always gets promoted faster than anyone in the Department, and it really sickens me how the Office Politics plays favoritism and you got to have the "Image" to get ahead BS...it's discrimination!!! It got to the point where I had low self esteem, and low confidence in myself.

Let's see what else? 4 failed relationships, and my ex girlfriends cheated on me and went back to their *sshole boyfriends that treat them like utter sh*t and I'm heartbroken many times.

What else? My brother over the phone threatened to put me into a hospital, and my mom thinks I'm going to be a nobody. My cousins and my other family relatives mentioned that I'm way too quiet more than once...Well? I'm here visiting you guys so just talk to me like a human being for christ sakes...GAH!

I also helped my cousin move to his new house, and boy did I get treated like sh*t...I moved the furniture around, and my cousin told me "You idiot, you don't listen well do you? How many times do I have to tell you it goes right here"

Hah! I walked up and left...sure I felt terrible about it, but I don't want anymore drama in my life. I'm hoping that one day I can find a really awesome friend that has the same common interests as me... I hope so because that's what I need right now.

Really I'm even worse
by: Anonymous

I receive no love from parents and at school I get bullied. I get nothing I want. My parents blame me for all the money matters (bill, clothes etc)and what can be worst than this no love and I can't buy what I want I've only got 2 outfits of clothes and everyone teases me.

thats the way it works
by: Anonymous

I have read a lot of the comments and I would just like to say that no one's life is perfect... you cannot depend on other people to bring you happiness. There will always be high's and lows. You could not kill you self because you are in stress or you don't have friends because some people would do anything to have a life where they at least get food to eat. You cannot expect life to be perfect and there is a way out of everything. If you really want a good life you have to get up and get one. You can be happy... just play your cards right and enjoy life while you can as it only comes once.

Hate life as well Portland to Alaska...
by: Anonymous

The booze, the drugs. I have a stable job but it seems it's just there to afford all my flaws. I hate the job and the area I live. At times I wish I didn't have this job so I can be broke and not be able to use any more. But then where would I be... I'm 30 with a 9 year old son living with his addict mom and I'm the more responsible one and I just want to end it all.!
P.s. Loved every ones hating life as much as me

Why the hell is it me!?
by: Manalone

Coming up on my 1 year anniversary of the accident that changed my life forever. It has definitely been the worst year of my life. I don't know how I am going to make it through another year like this. I keep asking myself, why the hell is it me??!! Why have I been dealt this fate?!

I feel very isolated and hopeless, I'm usually a fighter but when the doctors tell you there's nothing that can be done I start wondering what am I fighting for, whats the point when there's nothing I or anyone else can do, essentially there's no hope. That's like the hardest thing to accept, that you have no control, no power to change, to heal and you just have to deal with it until the day you die. It makes me look forward to death. Don't want to live anymore,it's been hell for awhile, don't know how many tears can a human endure, when you live alone, when you live in the shades, what sense does it make?! Why the hell is it me?!! how will I survive, when I see no light.....

LAZY!
by: Anonymous

I am a 31 yr old American. I live with my mom and sit in my room all day surfing the latest military and international political news. I always wanted to be in the Navy since watching Top Gun and to follow my Dad's footsteps. I have bad color perception so that was out. It isn't like I haven't achieved anything in my life. In HS I was an Eagle Scout and in All State Band, finished with a History degree after many years, won a collegiate power-lifting competition and even went on to get an M.Ed with honors to teach. I'll tell you what though, the biggest thing in this world I hate is looking for a job. I was a lazy nightwatchman for almost a decade because I didn't bother to look very much for anything else. I might put out one CV per year.

1 1/2 years ago my security company went out of business and ended up on unemployment. I hate having to hunt for work to keep getting it so I went to teach in China after a year. My new dream is to travel so it seemed like a good idea... NOT! The air was so dirty and my principle such a slave master I ran home after 3 months. My father died a month later and his dying wish was for me to get on with my life. So I started subbing last spring and here I sit at the start of a new school year.

Things are on the up-and-up. I have a contract waiting in Guam with a chance to travel, teach and actually save some money. I have the ticket and leave in two days. So why am I so scared? I hate to leave my mom so soon after my Dad's death. She is going to pack my stuff up and rent out my room since she won't have my rent. The room I have lived 29 years in won't be there to come back to. This is my second and last chance to make it out of the nest.

I have basically taken over the roll of my father over the last few years doing all the man chores while she cooks and cleans. The only thing I know how to cook is a weight lifters diet. At least where I am going I can get fresh tuna on the cheap. So I have to either learn how to cook or find a good woman. Well, I have been too lazy to keep one. I am what you would call anti-social outside of work. I avoid people, not that I can't deal with them. I just don't want to if I can avoid it. Living with your mommy is not conducive to attracting a good mate and is the biggest part of my social problem. Lack of self-esteem...

My mom just made a crack on what I want my last meal to be, the ironic thing is I did a Bible flip for direction and turned to the Last Supper. Time to get on with my life and stop being so LAZY!

Really?
by: Anonymous

You all have more then I could ever accomplish. Never any love, or prosperity. You have to learn to accept your place in life and be grateful for what you have, as I have not.

NO GOOD LIFE
by: Anonymous

I hate my life as well, I am 43 still having to receive money from my parents to live. I have blown many great jobs. What is wrong with me. I have finally acknowledged my bi polar illness but took too long and became an alcoholic in the process. Many bills and no way to pay. Would love to kill myself. What is wrong with me? Very lethargic.

Love your Life no matter who or what you are
by: ACE

Nothing on this earth is permanent, not even a grain of sand, everything goes someday or at some point in time, even our sun will disappear someday. So given that we are all irrelevant in our outer material casting however it may be, it won't last for long. Life is actually very short for everyone. It goes so fast. I am almost 50 now, but I can remember like it was yesterday when I was just turning 21, or when I was 17 just finally relieved to be out of high school, or that very first day I cried on my first day to kindergarden when I had to let go my mother's hand.

I did not grow up rich, my mom got divorced to my dad when I was 8 yrs old, I had 4 other siblings and we struggled on food stamps growing up, and I'm not rich today and still struggle on my job and with life to make ends meet, but I realized when I was 35 and very depressed and wanting my life to end that once I'm gone I'm soon forgotten and I came to the conclusion that worrying about anything is just a big pile of empty pockets of unproductive thoughts that kept me in my slump.

I started telling myself that today now at this very minute that I have to snap out of my slump and every negative thought that comes into my head I will punch it in its face and I will say "no" you negative thought will not defeat me and that I will immediately attack you with a positive thought. So that's how I fought depression head on by attacking every worthless negative thoughts with an immediately positive thought, it could be a positive thought about anything. Slowly but surely doing this everyday will eventually over time, may takes a few months to one year but you will cure yourself from depression, you will once again be able to focus on other things and people, and goods things and more people will slowly but surely come into your life; the short life we all have, so enjoy it no matter what situation you may currently be in, it all comes to pass anyway.

Life is pointless
by: Anonymous

I hate my life. My parents never had any love towards each other but they both love me and I love them very much. I am female, 30 next year, been single for years. Been in abusive relationships, cheated on, put up with it just so I wouldn't have to be alone. Then I pushed everyone away and now I have been alone for years.

I hate my job but don't have a passion really for anything so I am not sure what to do with myself? Currently going through skin cancer and it is deforming my face because it was misdiagnosed for 10 years. I have been losing weight, I was obese, I did have a pretty face, now I have nothing.

I fear so much I am going to end up alone, unmarried with no kids and no one to love me. All I want to do is sleep and I can NEVER sleep yet I always feel tired. Tried every anti depressant under the sun, councelling etc. I would end my life now but I couldn't do that to my family. I am in so much debt and have had so many drug problems over the years which put me into debt.

Now I am stuck in a share house with people I don't like. I have a dog so I have no option of moving elsewhere. I know my life really isn't that bad but why can't I just feel normal?? Why can't I help myself no matter how hard I try? I truly wish I was never born.

I also hate my life!
by: Anonymous

I'm 26, and am quite tired with living. So, I quit my job, packed a backpack and wandered into the wilderness to die. Funny thing about it is, after three months of physical hardship and absolute solitude, I came to realize I was doing everything I possibly could to sustain myself. It was a real eye opener. See if you can handle not eating or drinking clean water for a few days; if your will to die is stronger then your body screaming at you, you're ready. If not, then you may want to turn that frown upside down or something.

Read, If you truly want to feel better.
by: Anonymous

I have probably had a pretty sh*t life compared to all of you. Then I think about the kids in Africa and the poor animals that people torture and I know I haven't had the worst.

I got over being dramatic a long time ago and the only thing you need is a positive attitude, a competitive outlook. Prove to everyone how much better you are than them, be cocky, be a bitch, be what you want. You're allowed to have a personality but don't sit at home writing on this site about how you hate your lives. Really pathetic guys, I'm at school writing this and the only reason I searched I hate my life in Google is because I'm trying to write this stupid formal writing thing and thought I'd be funny.

No Im not depressed but yes I know how it feels, the only thing that got me through it was being nice to everyone, but never getting attached. Going out having fun, but sleeping and down time. Feeling good about myself because I fricken can and I want to prove the world wrong that's just who I am so competitive.

Tough love people. Get over yourselves.
And into your new life!
Don't be someone else, fit into your own skin before trying on another group.
F***KING LIVE!

(or you could always meet me in New Zealand, Auckland and I'll show you the best time in town with me and my gay friend :))

I hate mine too
by: Anonymous

I am 50 yrs old, and I still hate my life. I have a 13 yr old, and because my sister died from cancer I have her 2 spoiled rotten kids to raise.
My husband is depressed all the time, and I have a house full of animals to take care of.

If you want some advice, take it from someone like me whose been there and done that.

1. Get educated - I never did. I went back to college when I was 26 but I was stricken with Lyme disease, which totally mucked up every part of my body and brain.

2. Do not have children (unless its too late for that of course)

3. Before you have permanent obligations geographically, move somewhere beautiful. Anywhere, lots of countries offer free education for their citizens. Oceans, beaches, mountains, pick what you like, and go there. Save enough money to just do it. Place an add on Craigslist, and find someone who will do it with you..

Get away from toxic parents. My mom and I always hated each other and we still hate each other.

4. Don't get an animal if you don't want to stick around.

5. Therapists only take your money, it doesn't work.

6. Start an online group, like yahoo or something and find others like you ( everyone here could join).

7. Go to VRBO- look at all the countries and all the places you cant go stay. Get 4 or 5 friends together and split the cost of a stay somewhere cool.

Do all these things while you are young and not strapped with kids. And use birth control for Christ sakes. Because it is true, once you are strapped, you are strapped, especially if the father wont let you move out of the state. I am stuck in Illinois until my kids are 18 for that very reason. I am a prisoner here, a slave to my kids, and my husband has no interest in participating with the family.

I am too sick most of the time to even think about getting out. I cant work, and disability is a bunch of criminals that say I don't qualify for benefits, even though I have paid into disability my whole working life. Its bullsh*t.
Travel, be free. Don't have kids.

I may be a kid but i know you can do it
by: a kid who is 9 years old

Hi, I found your problem and is shocked you can even think that. Life is a precious thing and you are very lucky to have it, now you may think its stupid listening to a 9 year old telling you off, but I am. Now snap out of it girl.

It's up to you
by: Anonymous

I know that my comment is only one of thousands, and you will probably disregard it, and I cannot give you very good advice.
You do not need
self-help books
a supportive family
psychiatrists
friends
people with a shoulder to lean on
people to give advice
A spouse or relationship
To save you. Only you can save yourself. Even if you feel hopeless, remember that you are thirty and can do whatever you want and aren't tied down.

So, take it step by step. It's up to you to have the willpower to take my advice. It is your decision to be happy or not. You, believe it or not, can simply choose to have a good life; there are thousands of people who don't have this wonderful choice. You must have the willpower and choose to have a better life; if you would rather wallow in hopelessness and misery, or expect someone else or some self-help site to make your life better, you can do that to, but then you can't blame your life.
1) Take a cold shower.
2) Go for a run, preferably with someone else to push you or you might get lazy and give up or give in to the pain. Find a way to exercise.
3) Find something that you enjoy doing. There are close to a thousand different types of jobs in America, surely you will enjoy doing one of them. For me, I love to paint and botany is my hobby. I became a naturalist and painter.
4) Drink some water.
5) Find a way to do what you enjoy doing, and do it. You don't have to be making money from your hobby, but there is always a way to make money from a hobby in America. A lot of times, though, making money at what you love to do, requires that you go back to school. But how hard can it be for you to go back to school since you don't have kids that are holding you back, you aren't married, and you don't have to earn money to support yourself or anyone else?
6) Get a pet. Get a dog or cat (provided you live in a place where the dog or cat has space to run around and isn't trapped indoors all day), or better yet, build a chicken coop and get chickens to provide you with fresh eggs, or get a goat to provide you with milk and to mow your lawn. Animals have been proven to make people happy and give people meaning in life.
7) Help someone less fortunate than you, instead of spending all your time being sad for yourself and trying to make yourself happy, make someone else a little less sad.
7) Get outside of your house and off the computer. The computer part is extremely important. Spending more than two hours a day on the computer has been proven to cause depression, especially if you spend that time on Facebook or Myspace or online talking about how depressed you are. Go for a walk in your neighborhood, if it's a safe neighborhood, explore your town, go running, look at the sun and the sky and the animals and the birds and the people and the colors.
8) You shouldn't be still reading this. You should be taking a shower, drinking water, trying to think of what you love to do and working out a way to do it, or outside of the house.

Get some exercise
by: Anonymous

Get some exercise. Seriously. You will feel like you are taking control of your life, doing something positive for yourself, and boost your self-esteem. It also dumps all kinds of feel good hormones into your body, so you feel happy in spite of yourself. There is no better anti-depressant, studies have shown it. Plus its proactive.

You are all in a self-defeating spiral. You have to change your habits. Small victories, but they will pile up.

Anyone can do it. Best of luck to all of you. You will never guess what I was trying to Google when I stumbled onto this site, lol.

Oh ya, and if you are 30? You have time, which means you have everything. Most of your lives don't sound too bad, other than boredom which spiraled into depression.

Hope that helps. Kick some ass.

you sound so much like me
by: Anonymous

Hi,
You really sound so much like me. I am now 38 years old and contemplate moving back in with my parents but have relationship garbage to resolve. I feel genuinely unhappy most of the time with sprinkles of levity. I find it difficult to enjoy people right now while at most times I am invigorated by some of them.

I would love to be your friend. I work as a CNA for my 92 year old grandmother and also part time at the YMCA. I meet LOTS of people but do not connect deeply with any of them. I do have a few high-quality friends but feel like I've made really poor choices for my life; I've given up a lot.

I hope you have been happy at least a moment today.

Help for people who feel like dying.
by: Anonymous

For all of these people in this thread who feel as if their life is hopeless, and killing themselves is their only option, do not kill yourself! Talk yo your family and friends, as I am sure that they will do everything that they can in order to make all of your troubles and problems go away. Also, psychiatric help and contact a suicide hotline (these ones, for example on this site http://suicidehotlines.com/), as they will be able to assist you in removing all of the problems and troubles away from your life.Do not kill yourself! You have so much to live for!

Help for people who feel like dying.
by:

For all of these people in this thread who feel as if their life is hopeless, and killing themselves is their only option, do not kill yourself!

Talk yo your family and friends, as I am sure that they will do everything that they can in order to make all of your troubles and problems go away. Also, psychiatric help and contact a suicide hotline (these ones, for example on this site http://suicidehotlines.com as they will be able to assist you in removing all of the problems and troubles away from your life.

Do not kill yourself! You have so much to live for!

What am I here for
by: Anonymous

23 year old little dick virgin who still lives with his family who does not cut me any slack. I could do this, that, and the other and if one thing is not done I get yelled at, even with two siblings. I have no job, no money, no friends, never had a girlfriend, and can't stop talking about nothing.

I just hate my life and want it to end. That's why I tried to end it in high school by OD ing on some pills but just got sick and I still had to go to school, and did I forget I have a gambling problem so any money I get goes into that.

I got to let it out !
by: Anonymous

So I'm 19 years old lady I feel lonely all the time. Sure I have a couple of friends but I never really fully trust them I just never say much about my life. My friends always tell me stuff about their life their problems. I usually try to help them out as much as I could.

When I was small some stuff happened to me I decided to keep it a secret but its always in my head :( my siblings well I'm not close to them I'm 1 in six and only talk to two of my brothers the others I cant bear to look at. Growing up I always had to get stuff on my own. Started working at 15 because my mother couldn't really afford to buy us everything we all wanted, being a single mother. I guess my father was violent so he wasn't much in the picture, and my mother shes always busy so she was never there for me either, but now she has a great relationship with my sisters. I guess I'm not counted in her family. I've gotten over it.

I always looked to my brother for anything I needed but he has his own family now so I feel I don't have any one to talk to now, I'm never fully happy. I had one boyfriend and he cheated on me two months later. That completely hurt me my self esteem went down so much I thought of myself as ugly. I actually get that I'm somewhat pretty here and there but since I haven't gotten a boyfriend in months it makes me sad. I don't want to be by myself the rest of my life I've met a few guys I almost went out with but I only find guys that want sex and I never want to just hook up with a guy I think there should be a relationship first.

I hope I could someday have my own family for once and not be so destroyed like the one I'm in now any advice or just any wisdom words would help me thanks.

Hope
by: Tc

I came on here as I felt lost today and yeah a little hopeless. After reading your posts I was blown away you guys have experienced the highs and the lows.

Can I give you some advice that really does help me when you actually reach out a helping hand to someone else in need or a positive word to someone its amazing how much better it makes you feel as a person. It is not about making money etc etc. Its not about drugs or alcohol etc etc its the positive actions and the positivity you can spread throughout your day. There is not enough of it. We all agree there is a hell of a lot of bad sh*t going on in the world so no wonder the whole worlds depressed. Maybe if we all gathered together and did some good deeds regular it would be a much better place. Think about it in the third world countries how high is there suicide rate!

Love and Peace to all xxx

life
by: concerned x

Life is not fair or just or what Hollywood, Disney or books portray. I am not eloquent and am still battling on but the one thong I have learned is to stop blaming myself for others behaviour and reactions and to reason it. You will learn its not about you but they have issues of their own. Believe in yourself and focus on the positives and forgive yourself your wrongs. Good luck hope that helps.

FML
by: Kenny

I truly feel what the real meaning the real sin of despair is..... it is from the devil, no end in site just idle, wheels spinning! Despair, giving up! I need Jesus and time to heal me and my heart. I can stop the pain, but drinking breeds more problems! That's it short and unsweet!

we are bonded together
by: Anonymous

I dont know how all of you got here but if your like me you got drunk and typed into google i hate and hoped that it finished it my life so you werent the only one out there searching for the answer to life's great mystery (at least to me anyways) is why am I not happy well i'll tell you my answer I have come up with...... lots of reasons everyone and their dog has some boo hoo story about how there girlfriend left them, they drink/drug out to much someone died, and you know what that's fine people be sad cry your ass off, but remember this your not alone your never alone because the internet and the human experience bonds us together. Go to chat rooms talk to people because I bet there are 10000000 other people out there going through the same sh*t I bet anything right now someone is reading this drunk thinking no one gets it.

Its hard not being able to trust anyone not being able to tell people the real you. Its hard knowing that you hide your true self from the world because inside you feel like that angry dog snapping at the end of its chain just waiting to get off and sh*t up. Well you know what, we do know and we do care we are bonded in this sh*t people as humans we are all together and the internet lets us come together and be real so get out there and be real. People might just surprise you or maybe this is all the ramblings of some drunk, either way sorry for the spelling mistakes and I want to leave you with some advice my grandfather gave me once when he found me crying about my life he said "boy if life ever tries to get you down..... you get out there and kick its teeth down its throat because it can never ever match you and don't you forget that" and you know what I never have, I know now that life can never beat me if I dont let it because that sun is going to rise and Im going to be there to knock its ass back down that night and that's all I need to know p.s sorry again for spelling and grammar.

Stop reading blogs - get outside and get PROACTIVE about change !
by: Active

Self help books, motivational speakers, all these publications you read about self improvement. They are great resources, but they do tell you everything you already know (albeit subconsciously). I completely agree with Kay's comment (above, you can change right now if you really want to.

Anything in life worth having is worth the hard work; the blood, sweat and tears, to a

I hate my life and feel hopeless

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I hate my life and feel hopeless