Sick of trying to get through
I woke in a strange bed with a guy bragging to his mate that there was blood on the sheet, they were laughing patting each other on the back for bagging a virgin; I was 15yrs, and just started going out to the nightclubs, I had no idea where I was or even that virgins bled; and so it was that men would have their way with me from the backseat of their cars; on top of cars, parking lots, being shared around to violent rapes.
If someone asked me how many boyfriends I have had in my life I would say 1....I can't tell you how many men have taken advantage of me, that means I have to remember.....
I am now 43yrs and I haven't had a boyfriend for over 20 years, they seem to still take me though: if I find myself in a situation, the thing is if I go out to a bar, I have to scan the place, usually it's the quiet guy in the back he's the one you have to watch out for, if I start drinking; only have I then leave; if not it's the same old story, get taken again..
I sometimes wish I had somebody to take care of me, someone just for company, sex means nothing to me, I wish someone else would just be there to help me get through,
My son still lives with me but has no job he's 21yrs and is trying hard to get one, no one will even give him a chance because he has no experience.
I've taken care of us all his life and I just wanna stop. I've had enough, but I will keep going for him hoping everyday he gets a job to start his life.
I just want someone who cares.