Paranoia no self confidence and low self esteem
I have just finished my first year at university and have got say its been one of the worst years of my life so far.
I suffer from pretty bad paranoia and have had a really hard time talking to new people as i always just assume they think I'm an idiot. I get extremely scared when i leave a room of people as i think they will instantly start talking about me behind my back.
I can't hold a conversation with other people I never know what to say and anything i do say always sounds like crap.
I always think people are looking and judging me no matter where i go.
Even if i can hold a conversation with a person i then spend the rest of the day checking and double checking what i said in my head to make sure i didn't mess up. Generally i find something and then spend the next few hours hating myself and assuming the person i just talked to also thinks i'm a tit.
I have been thinking about getting counselling or something for a while but cant seem to pluck up enough courage to actually meet someone face to face about it.
Writing this now i am sweating so badly. But its gotten to a point where i just cant take it anymore. So have finally decided to bite the bullet and ask for help. Thought Id start off on here.
Any help is greatly appreciated.