no motivation and low self esteem

by mark

I am a sophomore in college and i have a low self esteem, and very low motivation. I have felt like this my whole life. I have always felt like an outsider, even with my friends. I have always felt unmotivated and would rather do something fun instead of things that were boring or

uninterested, like school and working.

I think I have an anxiety disorder I worry a lot and get really nervous. I am constantly thinking about lots of things and I get bored really easy, a lot of the the time I spend thinking is spent thinking about my life and how I fit in everything, like sports, school, social life, stuff like that.

I have a mind set where I don't really try or do stuff because I think what is the point I will fail, or this doesn't affect me, theres no need to do that. Unless it is something forced on me like an assignment to do, someone tells me to do it, like my dad, or boss, but even then I do just enough to get by.

I thought that I might have depression or maybe ADHA. Because I see how other people are and I am not like them, I see people who study all day or work all the time, and I wonder how they can do it, I have tried and I cant keep myself motivated. But then I read about depression and ADHA and I think I don't really have it that bad, I don't show all the signs.

I want to know if anyone feels the same and If they have some advice.

Comments for no motivation and low self esteem

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stay strong
by: Anonymous

I am the same way. I understand the feeling of being an outsider and unmotivated. I am trying to evolve though. I keep an open mind and spirit hoping that one day I will be removed from my short comings and that I will be able to "fit in"
stay strong and keep your head up, the better days are in front of us and we will reach them.
same as you
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm Blooms,

You know I was and still am that way. I never really had many friends in school. I always hung out with the teachers which was ok until I got to college then I was always alone.

As I got older, and after my dad passed away is when it got worse. Then I started being unmotivated always tired.

I start projects and then that thought came to me like, what's the purpose? Whose gonna care whether I paint pictures or make beads or what ever. My dad was the only one who would say anything about them and said he liked them. But now he's gone. Now whats the point for anything.

Sometimes I think if I were gone then there'd be less for my husband to worry about. I'm just a luggage since I can't have kids.

The government is wasting money on me cause I can't work. I try to get out of this slump but well sometimes it works and sometimes it don't.

Me.
To No Motivation and low self esteem
by: Stacey (England)

Hello Mark,

There are many people who feel the same way as you do, and there are many people who work hard at getting through this period in their lives, and it can be done.

The key to success is by changing your way of thinking into "positive thoughts and by pushing yourself."

No one likes to fail, and many people miss opportunities in their lives because of not wanting to run that risk, but its a case of changing your thinking to, "If I fail I can try, try, try again until I feel better in myself, or to a level that I am happy with."


So Mark lets start now, lets change your mind set, it's a case of saying things over in your mind until you believe them, almost like brain washing I guess.

Looking at your letter it is full of negative thoughts of how you think you are, it's time to throw it all away!

How about...."I am going to try hard at school because I want to get a good career that pays well so I can do afford to do fun things."

Make yourself take on more things at school telling yourself that YOU WANT to. Don't wait for your dad or your boss to push you, you do it.

I have been out of school for well over twenty years now, and I used to struggle at school, I never really passed any exams, hardly did home work or study, could not spell, was scared stiff of tests, and hated reading out loud.

I remember as if only last week my Dad saying to me not to worry as long as you try your hardest and do the best you can, the school years will fly by. I took this advice on with the "Yeah right" attitude, and I didn't really pull my socks up, and my final results showed this.

As an adult now telling my children to do their best it feels strange, as I know my dad was right. School is such a small part of your life because once you leave you have a long time ahead. At the end of the day you need to take full responsibility for your actions, how you think, and the standard you set.

Set yourself some goals, maybe having X amount of days to do X amount of school work, and if you do it in this time have a reward whatever that may be, a movie, trip to shops, new cd, burger, bike ride, and as you are working towards this goal keep those thoughts positive.

For the last three years I have been going to a group, and I have made myself get up in front of other people and read something. I pushed (and still do) myself, even to this day my legs still get the shakes and my heart races fast nearly beating out of my body, but I tell myself that the feelings I feel are good, and that I can do it(and I do).

You can do it! Find some good affirmations, put them on post it notes all around the place and say them out loud, don't listen to that little voice inside telling you the opposite, it will go in time.

I really hope I have helped you in some way Mark. It will be hard work, stop with those negative waves and in with the positive. You can do it.

Love and rainbows
Stacey
Many feel the same as you do.
by: Kay

Hi Mark,

Firstly thank you for taking the time to share your problem. Secondly, there are many people who understand how you are feeling, and who feel the same way as you.

As I read your letter, one thing became apparent to me, and it's you don't give yourself credit for anything in your life. You appear to spend all your time concentrating on your faults, on what you can't do, and, on everything negative in your life. Have you realised this?

Can you stop and take notice of yourself and see what you are good at Mark? No one is hopeless at everything!

The attitude you have about yourself is so important. It will help if you can try and work on yours to become more positive. Try to stop telling yourself all this negative information. It isn't true but you say it so often that it has become your truth, can you see this?

No one is better than you are. I really mean this Mark. Even though you have never seen yourself this way, you are as worthwhile as the next person, but you have to believe this is true.

Only you can make this happen by believing in yourself.

You can do this by changing the thoughts you have. Stop focusing on the negative, untrue stuff, and start telling yourself you are worthwhile. A positive attitude, positive thoughts about yourself, will work and help you change, and enable you to like yourself.

The most important thing you can have in your life is your attitude, I really can't stress this enough Mark, When you believe you can't, you can't, when you believe you can, you can.

You set yourself up for failure by telling yourself why bother, I'll fail anyway. How do you know you will fail when you wont even try? What if you do fail, the world wont end, just pick yourself up and give it another go, and another if need be!

Start liking yourself today Mark! Fill your mind with what you can do, what you are going to do! Throw out all that negative junk you have tucked inside that head of yours and focus on the real you that's got lost somewhere inside all that untrue information!

From now on make it "I can do this." I wish you good luck Mark, I know it wont be easy, but please become determined, and stay determined, and you will succeed.
Love light and rainbows, Kay

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