My sister hates me
First, I'm 12 years old and she is 16 only like a 3 year and 1 month difference but I feel like we are farther apart and not just in age. I mean I love my sister she is my idol and role model but to her I could be less. I mean she always points out my negatives like if I ask her what she would say about she would say "Hypocrite,anger issues,depressed, quiet,loud, annoying etc... And I don't get it how can I live up to her expectations I will never be the perfect sister unless I am just "Seen not heard or better yet not seen!" less embarrassment for her I mean.
My mom is single, we have different dads, but what did I do for her to be so hostile towards me. I feel horrible when she tells me horrible things about me. I get quiet and she says now your denying your this or that and I think no I'm not. I just hate that I'm this so I try not to cry but the tears slip down and I get cold to my feet and then I feel like dust and something small and I will never add up to anything because I'm WORTHLESS!
I feel like she hates me for being born, she accuses me of being this negative girl but I get it because all she says is negative things about me nothing positive. I mean at school I'm happy but when I get home I feel depressed for I know she is waiting to say something else mean I just wish I knew why she hated me:'(PLEASE HELP BEFORE I FEEL THE NEED TO END THIS ALL WITH ONE SNAP OF MY FINGER:'(