When I get in trouble a lot I always say I am stupid and I end up putting my self down a lot when do I poorly every time.
I try to raise and my friends help me but its not working because my friends go to a different school and its hard for me to think of positive when I always think of negatives.
I understand where you are coming from by: Anonymous
I have struggled for a long time with self esteem issues.
Like you I too can be very hard on myself if I make a mistake or do not meet my own expectations. I sometimes get down on myself and say that I am stupid and felt others were far better and smarter then I. I can be my own worst critic sometimes and I felt others surely viewed me the same way as I do.
Then I started to read every self help book I could get my hands on about the issues I was struggling with. Through those books it made me think. Heh would you let someone else talk to you like this be so hard on you? My answer was no I would defend myself.
So I then started to keep a journal where I had to write down those negative thoughts as they popped into my head, as suggested in a book that I had read. I do not remember the book title however.
To continue at the end of a week I had to review what I had written. After that I had to write them out and turn them into positive statements. I however had found that difficult at first, so much so I had to take another approach.
From yet another book that was to keep track of the number of times I had insulted myself. For each one I had to put either twenty five cents, a looney, or a tooney. The objective the highest amount. Then think of someone that I really do not like much who had treated me horribly.
Here is the disgusting thing that stopped me.... at the end of a month or a certain amount of time give the money collected to my ex the one I chose.
Then I thought there was no way I could give him money for the amount of times I had insulted myself it could be quite expensive and toonies could really add up. That was a powerful motivator for me.
I will be the first to admit that I am still not where I want to be regarding my self esteem and confidence but I am starting to value myself more. I continue to work on it. I realize I am worth the effort. So are you dear.
Like I am try to treat yourself like your own best friend, be gentle and reward yourself for the times you are positive to yourself. It is starting to make somewhat of a difference to me.
Take care and all the best of luck in trying to overcome.
You are not alone. by: Anonymous
Everyone regardless of race, creed, colour and status has worth which sometimes is not seen by people around them.
Concentrate on what you are good at. Make a list of the attributes that you have. Maybe you like cooking, the countryside, animals, also the things that you would like to do.
Family are not always the most supportive people either. They tend to see faults and not the good things that you do.
Other people have insecurity levels and tend to put persons they see as vulnerable down to boost up their failing egos.
If you look carefully at someone else's attitude and body language you can learn a lot. The boaster does that to paint a different picture to what they are feeling inside.
You will find after careful searching the people who speak your own language and who have interests similar to yours.
low self esteem by: Kay
Hi Samonne,
Thank you for contacting Positive Personal Growth.
The first thing I wanted to do when I read your message was to give you a great big hug and tell you what an important, worthwhile, and unique person you are, because it's true Samonne.
It's your own thoughts that stop you being this way, because you constantly beat yourself up with the negative things you tell yourself.
I would like you to do something for me if you are willing? Every day write down these words - I am whole, I am perfect, I am strong, I am powerful, I am loving, I am harmonious, I am happy. Will you do that for me?
You will come to know them by heart, and whenever you start your negative thoughts, stop them, and replace them with these words. Say them before you go to sleep each night, say them anytime you want to, just coz you can!
The more often you say them the sooner you will become this way, because your subconscious will believe what you tell it. Trust me, it will.
I gave them to my granddaughter to write down once a day, and sometimes she writes them out five or six times a day. She says she feels the difference inside, so I really do hope Samonne that you will also give them a go.
These are not my words, I got them from the book 'The Secret' and so I have to give credit to the author, Rhonda Byrne. I am not sure of your age, but you might like to get this book from the library as it will also help you.
Get back to me in 6 months and let me know how you are getting on!
Remember it is your thoughts that are causing your low self esteem, so try hard to change them. No one can do this for you Samonne, only you can make it happen.