I feel stupid

I am a college student with a learning disability. My grades are really important to me, and I really want to go to grad school. However, I have a a lot of trouble memorizing information for exams, even though I will completely understand the material before the exam. Most of the time, I feel like my test grades don't show how hard I worked, or even my true intelligence. It's hard when I'm surrounded by students who score high on exams when I work just as much as they do. I feel like I can't enjoy learning anymore because of the bad exam grades I receive, and my professors understand.

I've been dealing with this problem since elementary school. I want to be able to show people how smart I can be without exams. Maybe I picked the wrong major that requires so much memorization, but I really enjoy the topic. But now I don't enjoy going to class, and I feel inferior to other students.

I am scared that I will always feel inferior to smarter people. And I don't want to share this because I am ashamed I am complaining about something so meaningless in the grand scheme of life, which is just a letter grade on a piece of paper. I want to be more than just a house-wife in the future. I want to have a job and be successful like the majority of Americans. I've already heard from so many people that either my studying habits are wrong or that I just don't understand the information. This isn't true, and I know that because this problem has lived with me all my life. It's my ability to comprehend hard exam questions and to remember information that I literally just learned.

It's especially hard when my parents expect so much from me, but they don't think I'm naturally smart either. I used to think I was smart, but not anymore. I have already heard about the numerous success stories about top CEOs and scientists who have either dyslexia or ADHD. But at least they were able to succeed in their actual passions. So far, I have not been able to do so, mostly because of my learning comprehension disorder.

I guess it could be worst. I'm not mentally retarded, and I'm not poor. Everyone has issues, I know that. But this one is mine, and it's affecting my whole perception about what I can accomplish.

Comments for I feel stupid

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you are not stupid
by: Anonymous

Remember at college, you are just a number, nothing more. Don't be too hard on yourself. An exam grade shouldn't define you. You should define you. Success doesn't come in the form of a big paycheck or a college degree, it comes with a sense of being happy with who you are.

A lot of those CEOs are working countless hours, having affairs, and abandoning their families for a bigger bonus at work. And to top it off, they hate their job. Is that a successful person in your eyes? I can tell you are very intelligent just by reading your post.

Find something YOU love, without comparing yourself to others, because here's a newsflash: The only person you need to be good enough for is yourself. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Just do what you love, you'll find your way.

Thanks
by: Anonymous

You're right, I think I have to find an easier way to get to my goals, even if it takes longer than other students. But it's still hard not to constantly compare myself to others and their progress.

I feel stupid
by: Anonymous

You are not stupid if you can write a letter like this, somewhere along the line you have lost faith in you. Sometimes your brain can play tricks, it is like when you put something away carefully and later on forget where you put it. It is almost as though you have told your brain to forget where you put it so that it cannot be found by anyone else.

Some people have to work a lot harder than other people who have photographic memories but then if things come easily to them, they do not really get the habit of putting in some hard work.

Remember the story of the tortoise and hare. They ran a race, the hare leaped ahead and sat down for a rest and went to sleep while the tortoise just plodded on and got there.
You have to learn not to try too hard which you are doing and have to find a way to get there a bit more easily. Look at your other talents, I am sure you have them.

Concentrate on what you are good at even if they are hobbies. Once you find your niche in life things will fall into place.

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