I am scared
I am a 35 year old woman having two sweet little boys and have a joint family. My husband usually goes for his tours out of country every 2 months for 20 days. I have been married for last 15 yrs. I am a very scared kind of person. I am scared of doctors all kind of diseases, but that's ok that is my nature this is not my problem.
My problem is for last 2 months I am thinking too much and I am scared of my bad thoughts. Before this whenever my husband goes for tours I get upset with him and my in-laws because my husband's brother also does the same work but he doesn't go for tours. I get jealous of his wife and used to fight. For the last six months whenever I have clashes with my brother in law wife I get scared and start thinking the whole night why she tells me this or that.
I was thinking in this whole world I am the only person who is getting insults from my brother in law wife after that whatever she is talking with me even normally also I take her wrong and start thinking. I always dream I should have my separate house me my husband and my kids. Now where my husband goes for his tour he is planning to settle down there, but all of sudden from last two months I don't know what has happened.
I started thinking that I am wrong I have to prove myself always that I am not wrong, and all of sudden my mind ask me now you proving everything what about the last 35 yrs which you left without proving.
These thing make me scared, how should I do this I don't remember. Now I am thinking if those thoughts remain in my mind how will I get separated if god gave me the opportunity. If I do the same there who will handle things, what will people say.
The days my husband's not here I want one person with me all the time. How can I get close to my brother in laws wife. Now I am thinking my thoughts and things are increasing day by day. I am getting scared of people and wonder that if i talk to them how will I remember and will this prove that whatever I am talking about is right.
please please help me, my thoughts make me so scared that I don't sleep, I'm not feeling hungry and every second I have scary thoughts.